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Off Topic Off Topic - General non-Corvette related discussion. |
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06-21-2017, 9:59am | #21 | ||||||
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1. Most of the time you are lonelier in a bad marriage than being on your own. Been there, did that. Happier now.
2. You have to look at it as a new beginning, and the end of a bad situation. That's the ONLY way to look at it. It can ONLY get better. 3. There's a ton of lonely middle aged women out there who only want and Check out sites like Plenty of Fish. |
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06-21-2017, 10:21am | #22 | ||||||
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06-21-2017, 10:42am | #23 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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Taking the high road is very tough sometimes, especially if the divorce gets nasty along the way. But if you have kids, it is imperative you keep it positive for them. Even if you have to explain that you and her were not getting along and for the sake of each other and the kids, you both had to do this to be of best benefit to them. Unhappy parents do NOT help the kids.
You'll get out of your routine that you had. You'll come home to an empty residence. You'll feel lost. You'll feel alone. You have two choices at this point: 1. Accept it is happening 2. Deny it is happening Once you accept it is happening, you have 2 more choices: 1. Bitch, moan, and be bitter about it. 2. See it as a chance to change up your life to bring you happiness. Try something you've been wanting to try. Make that job change. Buy that car. Sell that car. Whatever. The slate is effectively wiped clear so you can make your life what you want to make it. You'll just have to do it without her at your side. That'll hurt at first, but you'll realize that you've lived to try and salvage a relationship that wasn't going to be salvaged, despite your best efforts. Even if you busted your ass to save it, she had to want to save it too, and it appears that she didn't. She has the same choices ahead for her, but it will be on a different road. Perhaps you can stay amicable and be friends, but I don't know your situation. You just focus on you and your kids, if you have any. Their happiness is paramount. If there are no kids, focus on yourself and your family (your parents and siblings), and work on doing what you want to do. You have friends, family, and coworkers that care about you. Reach out to them. Be honest with how you're feeling. They'll appreciate being trusted in and you'll have the support you need. No need to drag that yoke on your shoulders any more. |
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06-21-2017, 12:02pm | #24 | ||||||
Chief Electrician
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This is all great advice and intellectually sound. I intellectually know it to be true, as is everything else posted. Where the brain becomes scrambled eggs is the emotions interfering with the logic. I don't WANT a divorce. If I did, this would be a cake walk. I still love her in my soul. Yeah, I know, it sounds like a chick writing a Dear Abbey letter. LOL.
I think about vacations, movies, a funny story, a piece of trivia, a dinner idea, furniture I like, whatever, and I want to share it with the person that has been my partner for 21 years and they are GONE. It is an empty, lonely feeling and it is taking control of me and I seem to be unable to fight back. To me it is WORSE than if she died because death isn't a choice. This person CHOSE to not be with me anymore. That's tough. Anything and everything I do is just a shiny paint job on a turd. It all looks happy and smiley on the outside, but inside is a mental and emotional hurricane. It's like 6 bar bouncers kicking my heart's ass. I appreciate the advice and words of encouragement. I'll refer to them as this moves forward. When all is said and done and the emotions are removed, it will ultimately be a financial/business transaction and we already don't agree on things. Bumpy roads ahead. |
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06-21-2017, 12:08pm | #25 | ||||||
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Go to this web site you will learn a great deal and have support from other male divorcees.. MGTOW.com
you will read some good horror stories. |
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06-21-2017, 12:10pm | #26 | |||||||
Dogface
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I will try to do everything I can for my kid. I just wish there was a quicker way to get past it all and move forward. Right there with you man. Feel free to chat or vent anytime. I am sure there are more than just us in the same boat. |
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06-21-2017, 12:26pm | #27 | |||||||
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Best wishes |
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06-21-2017, 12:31pm | #28 | ||||||
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Lease, don't buy.
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06-21-2017, 1:58pm | #29 | ||||||
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Well I have (no homo) and you should have no problems finding an alternate option out there.
While the papers may be a sad reminder, they also signal a new beginning. Scott
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06-21-2017, 2:00pm | #30 | ||||||
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Why does divorce cost so much?
Because it's worth it! |
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06-21-2017, 2:14pm | #31 | ||||||
Latin American Goat Roper
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Aero, I totally sympathize with your position, and have empathy twice over with your position.....my first ex wanted her old lawyer friend back and so to be making tons of money in Wash DC......far as I know that did not work out for her....long story......no kids by me, anyway.....
second ex we had two kids, she had an affair or two with work cronies, off to 'meetings' across the nation.....yeh, sure.....anyway I was dumped when the kids were age 6 and 4.....still have that last photo of them together all dressed nice, standing in front of the house in the garden full of flowers that last spring together as a family, with sad looks on their faces..... I had noticed a 'chill' in the relationship, she tried to blame it on me, of course, even slapped me once in the kitchen, that was the second the love died on my side..... So because kids were young I stuck it out on the other side of the freeway, bought a house with a basement bath, that I immediately added a shower on, and a kitchen on the opposite wall, and made an apartment out of it, with their own entrance via the basement stairs.....and with the arthritis acting up in winters....I stuck it out had a g/f move in and so added a party deck on back, and that went super nice with the concrete back yard and 3 car garage the house had....which is why I bought the joint....off street parking, and no back lawn to maintain....purrfect house for this cat, except for winter time.....so after about 8 years I finally sold the house, and figgered the kids could flip to Florida which they did for a few years, they 33&35 this year..... I honestly feel the only reason their mother married me was that she felt she wanted kids and we had this relationship going, and it was for no other reason.....really......sperm doaner So here in Florida for 20 years, age 72, have my little chick a dee Florida native wife who is age 65, and we get along just great, constantly trading jokes and humor back and forth......she cooks, I wash, we stay alive...... |
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06-21-2017, 2:15pm | #32 | ||||||
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06-21-2017, 2:17pm | #33 | |||||||
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06-21-2017, 2:21pm | #34 | |||||||
Barn Stall Owner #75
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I was also given the advice to go sleep with her best friend, but you better wait until the divorce is final for that one. |
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06-21-2017, 8:41pm | #35 | |||||||
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Yes, it looks like your life is crashing down right now but you will realize it's a brand new start handed to you on a silver platter. You will do quite well and you may even find someone to spend time with. It's up to you how you handle this new beginning. Want to get even with your soon to be ex? Do well in your life. Jeff |
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06-21-2017, 8:53pm | #36 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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dude, go get drunk and bank her best friend or her sister. Come on. Man up.
seriously though, sorry. (go bang her sister anyway) |
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06-21-2017, 9:11pm | #37 | ||||||
That One Guy
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My 2 best friends and i are meeting for cigars and a beer at District 249 bar & grill tomorrow evening. We will listen and won't judge.
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06-21-2017, 9:18pm | #38 | ||||||
Chief Electrician
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Dating is not likely. It's not so much that I am a pessimist. I think I am a realist. I'm mid 50's under 6 feet, low to middle income, half my hair is gone. I can only attract a trailer park bingo mama that's blind in one eye and carries a Chihuahua in her purse. I'm attracted to women that are not out just of my league, they are playing a different sport. I was way over-chicked. Lightning won't strike twice. That's not pissing and moaning.That's a fact. My wife dated and married a decent looking and moderately successful guy in me, but used me up and divorced a hundred miles of bad road. My best is long gone. I have no game, no charm, no money. I'm a plate of two week old leftovers...I just don't smell bad....yet.
At this point, my only hope is to think of myself as a barn find and do a frame up resto. Change my diet, start exercising, figure out how to remove the ten tons of stress I walk around with, and see what comes out of it. |
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06-21-2017, 9:24pm | #39 | |||||||
Chief Electrician
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My job makes it impossible to do much of anything during the week. 11 hour days and a very lean operation. We all do two jobs and get paid for 3/4 of ONE. |
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06-22-2017, 7:51am | #40 | |||||||
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Time to look forward and stop looking back. There's no sense in living your life being miserable. Start exercising again, this alone will help you feel better about yourself and help rid the stress. I workout everyday at the Y on 249, lots of pretty women of all ages there to help with motivation. You got this, you just need to change your thinking and move on. This is your life and you control how you feel. Get that self esteem back. Women want a guy that's confident, it doesn't matter about looks (I'm way overchicked). All you need is confidence and a sense of humor. |
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