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Old 05-11-2018, 7:18am   #41
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Yea but he could have used more tact.
Based on the number of thanks I got for my post, nearly everyone seemed to have no problem with what I said. Including yourself. Now suddenly I could have used more tact? Please.

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Agreed, he was a great part of this community, we may not agree with/understand his struggles, but we need to support our brethren. I suppose many can say that the tough love is support.
Brethren??? Oh come on. No one told him to leave. It was a choice HE made. You can either learn and grow from criticism or run off and pout because no one wanted to attend your 7th pity party and tell you what you wanted to hear. I FULLY understand his struggles, and I went to great lengths to point that out. There's a big difference between support and enabling, one of which I refuse to do.

I stand firmly behind what I said and I truly don't care if some people found it abrasive. If you can't handle the truth, you should reconsider asking for input on a public forum.
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Old 05-11-2018, 8:07am   #42
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Old 05-11-2018, 8:35am   #43
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Chinaski's in the house!!





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Old 05-11-2018, 9:40am   #44
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Old 05-11-2018, 9:41am   #45
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Hey bitch. I've been a *bit* busy hanging out with your mom.
Harsh.

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Old 05-11-2018, 10:51am   #46
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Chinaski's in the house!!
Feck chinaski.

...wait...who's chinaski?
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Old 05-11-2018, 11:13am   #47
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The challenge here is to find balance between defending/explaining myself, and accusations of being butt-hurt in the process.

Truth or no truth in ICs post, this event in my life has emotionally crippled me. I am devastated. This is not a question of whether I should or shouldnít be. It is established that I AM. Shouting for me to get over it is the equivalent of shouting at someone in a wheelchair to get up and walk. You donít have to subscribe to that analogy. Itís not subject to anyoneís approval.

Good for IC that he went to the gym or whatever, and got over it. I didnít. Any distraction I find such as lawn work, my job, exercise, etc. still has the constant background noise of my failed marriage and the woman I still love very much. I married FOR LIFE. She didnít. That ****s with my head and I am not going to apologize for it.
Some people lose a spouse in death and the next day, it is as if it never happened. They regroup and move on. Others die within weeks of losing their husband or wife purely from a broken heart and a loss of will to go forward alone. Granted she didnít die, but that doesnít offer much consolation. I am thankful to God every day that I am not a suicidal person, or you wouldnít be reading this right now. To apply anotherís method of healing to my ailment, is not necessarily going to work, and certainly not the ďin your faceĒ approach. This isnít ****ing boot camp. Itís life and it happens to have kicked me in the sack at the moment. Maybe I have been fortunate to not have enough hardships in life to condition me for this. I donít know.

My apologies for the repeated posts about what went down. I have good weeks and I have bad days. On the bad days, I reach out for the support of my friends. Therein lies the rub. I am 100% at fault for my own piss-poor definition of "friends". I misunderstood, and I was very wrong about what this actually is. This is a car forum. Not a buddy's house to hang in. Not a bar to drown my sorrows in. I didn't leave because I was butt-hurt and I can't stress that enough. I left because I was being a pain in the ass and it was pointed out to me. It was embarrassing quite honestly. That is what ICís post drove home. I needed some support from friends and this isn't the place for that. You are anonymous people on a car forum. I was wrong to treat it any differently. In my defense, the Barn gives is a bit higher level of comfort and ease than the other place and I let that get the better of me. Over there, I am clearer on how the sausage is made. Here, I was mistaken. I place that blame 100% on me.
Itís difficult to plead my case and not be the drama queen. Itís difficult to speak my mind and not come across as butt-hurt. Itís difficult to share an emotion without coming across as a *****. For those reasons, I exited and Iíll remain ďexited" for now. I will come back here one day. I have decided that when I am over my divorce and I am back to good. Iíll come back here.

Thank you to all that expressed concern. i'm sure Iíll be fine.

Cheers
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Old 05-11-2018, 11:21am   #48
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Thanks for stopping by Aero, don't be a stranger! Your post definitely explains a lot and you are correct the Barn does give a higher level of comfort and ease than CF, that is why many of us hang out here.
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Old 05-11-2018, 11:22am   #49
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Except we arenít faceless and anonymous...bill, Dave wells, and I are local and at the risk of speaking for them, weíre both absolutely available in person and local. You should still have my number, and Iíd hope you wouldnít hesitate to use it.

I just finished my patio..trying o find an excuse to smoke foods on the weekends, my doors always open.
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Old 05-11-2018, 11:22am   #50
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Originally Posted by Iron Chef View Post
Based on the number of thanks I got for my post, nearly everyone seemed to have no problem with what I said. Including yourself. Now suddenly I could have used more tact? Please.



Brethren??? Oh come on. No one told him to leave. It was a choice HE made. You can either learn and grow from criticism or run off and pout because no one wanted to attend your 7th pity party and tell you what you wanted to hear. I FULLY understand his struggles, and I went to great lengths to point that out. There's a big difference between support and enabling, one of which I refuse to do.

I stand firmly behind what I said and I truly don't care if some people found it abrasive. If you can't handle the truth, you should reconsider asking for input on a public forum.


I did not disagree with what you said because at some point that reality has to set in. I was referring to the harshness of how you said it. I realize that person has no meaning to you other than another poster behind a keyboard but I bet if the roles were reversed he would never say it to you in the fashion that you stated it but it is what it is.
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Old 05-11-2018, 11:27am   #51
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Originally Posted by Stangkiller View Post
Except we arenít faceless and anonymous...
Better to know that people respect you enough to tell the truth, even if it's uncomfortable, rather than milquetoast users who will tell you want they think you want to hear because it's easier (for them!).

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trying o find an excuse to smoke meat on the weekends
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Old 05-11-2018, 11:40am   #52
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Originally Posted by aerovette View Post
The challenge here is to find balance between defending/explaining myself, and accusations of being butt-hurt in the process.

Truth or no truth in ICs post, this event in my life has emotionally crippled me. I am devastated. This is not a question of whether I should or shouldnít be. It is established that I AM. Shouting for me to get over it is the equivalent of shouting at someone in a wheelchair to get up and walk. You donít have to subscribe to that analogy. Itís not subject to anyoneís approval.

Good for IC that he went to the gym or whatever, and got over it. I didnít. Any distraction I find such as lawn work, my job, exercise, etc. still has the constant background noise of my failed marriage and the woman I still love very much. I married FOR LIFE. She didnít. That ****s with my head and I am not going to apologize for it.
Some people lose a spouse in death and the next day, it is as if it never happened. They regroup and move on. Others die within weeks of losing their husband or wife purely from a broken heart and a loss of will to go forward alone. Granted she didnít die, but that doesnít offer much consolation. I am thankful to God every day that I am not a suicidal person, or you wouldnít be reading this right now. To apply anotherís method of healing to my ailment, is not necessarily going to work, and certainly not the ďin your faceĒ approach. This isnít ****ing boot camp. Itís life and it happens to have kicked me in the sack at the moment. Maybe I have been fortunate to not have enough hardships in life to condition me for this. I donít know.

My apologies for the repeated posts about what went down. I have good weeks and I have bad days. On the bad days, I reach out for the support of my friends. Therein lies the rub. I am 100% at fault for my own piss-poor definition of "friends". I misunderstood, and I was very wrong about what this actually is. This is a car forum. Not a buddy's house to hang in. Not a bar to drown my sorrows in. I didn't leave because I was butt-hurt and I can't stress that enough. I left because I was being a pain in the ass and it was pointed out to me. It was embarrassing quite honestly. That is what ICís post drove home. I needed some support from friends and this isn't the place for that. You are anonymous people on a car forum. I was wrong to treat it any differently. In my defense, the Barn gives is a bit higher level of comfort and ease than the other place and I let that get the better of me. Over there, I am clearer on how the sausage is made. Here, I was mistaken. I place that blame 100% on me.
Itís difficult to plead my case and not be the drama queen. Itís difficult to speak my mind and not come across as butt-hurt. Itís difficult to share an emotion without coming across as a *****. For those reasons, I exited and Iíll remain ďexited" for now. I will come back here one day. I have decided that when I am over my divorce and I am back to good. Iíll come back here.

Thank you to all that expressed concern. i'm sure Iíll be fine.

Cheers


I've been where you are at before never married but a 14 year relationship and she lived with me. It took a long time for me to get over it and with the support of true friends I managed it. Once she was out of my heart and brain I felt a million % better and your right cutting the grass, or doing other things don't help all does is just distracts you temporarily. Coming to this forum which is not designated to sympathize with you will get you the responses that you received. This is why I gave you the MGTOW website previously where men who have been screwed over by the system go and lean on each other and tell their stories. At that website you don't have to worry about being called a pu$$y because of your feelings.
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Old 05-11-2018, 12:06pm   #53
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Originally Posted by NCC-1701 View Post
I did not disagree with what you said because at some point that reality has to set in. I was referring to the harshness of how you said it. I realize that person has no meaning to you other than another poster behind a keyboard but I bet if the roles were reversed he would never say it to you in the fashion that you stated it but it is what it is.
I wouldn't care if he did. As I said...if I put it out there, I accept what people say in the way they say it.

And that's really all I care to say about it.
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Old 05-11-2018, 12:13pm   #54
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I wouldn't care if he did. As I said...if I put it out there, I accept what people say in the way they say it.

And that's really all I care to say about it.
So, you don't really care about having a hot piece of ass in the passenger seat of your Jaguar?
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Old 05-11-2018, 12:15pm   #55
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So, you don't really care about having a hot piece of ass in the passenger seat of your Jaguar?
I NEVER said that!
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Old 05-11-2018, 12:52pm   #56
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So, you don't really care about having a hot piece of ass in the passenger seat of your Jaguar?
It might leave a stain
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Old 05-11-2018, 1:19pm   #57
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Feck chinaski.

...wait...who's chinaski?
Here I am...

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Old 05-11-2018, 2:57pm   #58
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You cannot control what others do and say, you can only control your reaction to them.
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Old 05-11-2018, 4:08pm   #59
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...I have good weeks and I have bad days. On the bad days, I reach out for the support of my friends. Therein lies the rub. I am 100% at fault for my own piss-poor definition of "friends". I misunderstood, and I was very wrong about what this actually is. This is a car forum. Not a buddy's house to hang in.
You still don't get it. The responses you got here are what a friend would/should tell you.
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Old 05-11-2018, 4:15pm   #60
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Here I am...

Sweet looking FJ40 that crossed traffic twice.
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