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Old 03-12-2018, 6:34pm   #1
69camfrk
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Default My wife asked me..
Why I drink every night. I have referred her to my lawyer L Spencer. Larry, is there anything I should or should not say this early into the inquisition?
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Old 03-12-2018, 6:36pm   #2
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take a sip, look her way, and slur (very slowly), "i love you", take another sip.
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Old 03-12-2018, 6:39pm   #3
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take a sip, look her way, and slur (very slowly), "i love you", take another sip.
Great advice!!!!
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Old 03-12-2018, 6:46pm   #4
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better yet, ask yourself.

liquor has no nutritional value. it affects you in various, negative ways. it costs money.
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Old 03-12-2018, 6:48pm   #5
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better yet, ask yourself.

liquor has no nutritional value. it affects you in various, negative ways. it costs money.
But the benefits are awesome!
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Old 03-12-2018, 6:49pm   #6
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better yet, ask yourself.

liquor has no nutritional value. it affects you in various, negative ways. it costs money.
I can't listen to your advice anymore. And how did you know that it was likker? Usually I just have a couple of beers after work. But I am having a couple of drinks of likker tonight! Get sleepy, go to bed! Oh, and you ain't my lawyer either!
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Old 03-12-2018, 6:59pm   #7
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better yet, ask yourself.

liquor has no nutritional value. it affects you in various, negative ways. it costs money.
Actually, there are documented health benefits that result from moderate drinking, including positive impacts on coronary heart disease and various types of stroke.

Moderate drinkers actually live longer than abstainers, on average.
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Old 03-12-2018, 7:30pm   #8
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A 30-year study by the Univ. of California involving thousands of test subjects concluded that 3 drinks per night reduces one's chance of developing senility by 1/3. If you're 65 or older you can up your daily intake to 4-5 drinks per night with no ill effects. I give the report to my doctors, and they stubbornly refuse to alter their opinion about having no more than 1-2 drinks per day and only on weekends.

I can't improve on DAB's advice.
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Old 03-12-2018, 7:48pm   #9
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I stopped ALL alky intake about 2 years ago, for about a year.....all i noted about it was an increase in arthritic pains.....

so I drink enough to dull the crap......

80 proof Canadian over ice and top off with water.....4-5 tumblers/day depending on what I doing.....other crap takes precedence.....
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Old 03-12-2018, 8:20pm   #10
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A 30-year study by the Univ. of California involving thousands of test subjects concluded that 3 drinks per night reduces one's chance of developing senility by 1/3. If you're 65 or older you can up your daily intake to 4-5 drinks per night with no ill effects. I give the report to my doctors, and they stubbornly refuse to alter their opinion about having no more than 1-2 drinks per day and only on weekends.

I can't improve on DAB's advice.
QFT

I’ve never had a drink.
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Old 03-12-2018, 8:28pm   #11
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I’ve never had a drink.
...
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Old 03-12-2018, 8:37pm   #12
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QFT

I’ve never had a drink.
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Old 03-12-2018, 8:48pm   #13
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Tell your wife you drink every night because that leaves all day to stay sober.
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Old 03-12-2018, 8:50pm   #14
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take a sip, look her way, and slur (very slowly), "i love you", take another sip.

Be sure to tell her it's not you, it's the booze talking.
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Old 03-12-2018, 10:06pm   #15
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Why I drink every night. I have referred her to my lawyer L Spencer. Larry, is there anything I should or should not say this early into the inquisition?
Finish your drink with a flourish, squint in her direction, and say, "Maybe now you're prettier than that other girl."

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Actually, there are documented health benefits that result from moderate drinking, including positive impacts on coronary heart disease and various types of stroke. Moderate drinkers actually live longer than abstainers, on average.


Study: For those over 90, alcohol better than exercise for longevity - Chicago Tribune
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Old 03-13-2018, 2:33am   #16
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A 30-year study by the Univ. of California involving thousands of test subjects concluded that 3 drinks per night reduces one's chance of developing senility by 1/3. If you're 65 or older you can up your daily intake to 4-5 drinks per night with no ill effects. I give the report to my doctors, and they stubbornly refuse to alter their opinion about having no more than 1-2 drinks per day and only on weekends.

I can't improve on DAB's advice.
So basically the researchers can't tell if the subjects are drunk or senile.
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Old 03-15-2018, 4:07pm   #17
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...
One of those moments when you actually laugh out loud.
Scott
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Old 03-15-2018, 5:08pm   #18
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Mrs. used to ask me why i always came home half drunk. I told her it was because I kept running out of money.
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Old 03-15-2018, 5:12pm   #19
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Actually, there are documented health benefits that result from moderate drinking, including positive impacts on coronary heart disease and various types of stroke.

Moderate drinkers actually live longer than abstainers, on average.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lspencer534 View Post
A 30-year study by the Univ. of California involving thousands of test subjects concluded that 3 drinks per night reduces one's chance of developing senility by 1/3. If you're 65 or older you can up your daily intake to 4-5 drinks per night with no ill effects. I give the report to my doctors, and they stubbornly refuse to alter their opinion about having no more than 1-2 drinks per day and only on weekends.

I can't improve on DAB's advice.
I'm 51, but when you factor in my I.Q. I'm drinking like a 68 year old.

So I'm in there.






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Be sure to tell her it's not you, it's the booze talking.
That's only if she reacts negatively in the first place.
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Old 03-15-2018, 6:16pm   #20
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QFT

I’ve never had a drink.
Always two or more drinks, huh?
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