Peeing on my Flowers.....

[mrvette]

PEEING ON MY FLOWERS
(IT HURTS JUST TO READ THIS!!!)

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in awhile a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.

"Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady.

"You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

[ft laud mike]

[OddBall]

Ouch!

[DAB]

when we visit my parent's house, Leah gets to go pee in their grassy backyard. shortly thereafter, Dad will report that the lawn has several very green spots where Leah did her business.

[snide]

Originally Posted by DAB

when we visit my parent's house, Leah gets to go pee in their grassy backyard. shortly thereafter, Dad will report that the lawn has several very green spots where Leah did her business.

What in the hell are you feeding that dog?!?!

[DAB]

Scotts.

pee is mostly water with some nitrates, which either green things up, or if really concentrated, burn and kill the grass.

[wwomanC6]

^

[DAB]

Originally Posted by wwomanC6

^

this you Wendy?

[Kerrmudgeon]

Our lawn used to have yellow patches all over it from dog piss. Never heard of it helping it turn green before?

[wwomanC6]

Originally Posted by DAB

this you Wendy?

I do have hedge clippers but don't live next to a golf course!

[DAB]

last year Leah's license cost $3.

just got the bill for this year's license: $10!

[wwomanC6]

Originally Posted by DAB

last year Leah's license cost $3.

just got the bill for this year's license: $10!

A license to Pee?

[86RAG]

Originally Posted by mrvette

PEEING ON MY FLOWERS
(IT HURTS JUST TO READ THIS!!!)

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in awhile a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.

"Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady.

"You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

So that's where the term bag of dicks came from!

[VITE1]