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Old 07-17-2015, 4:09pm   #21
aerovette
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I walked in to my office bedroom where the fan was on.

Papers were all over the place.

My hair was messed up.

I said, "Fan, did you mess up my hair?"

"Fan, did you scatter my papers all over the place?"


I finally walked over and pulled up the pin and said "Stop lying to me!"


*think about it a minute
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Old 07-17-2015, 4:16pm   #22
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You really gotta put down that expired beer and stop PUI before you get arrested
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Old 07-17-2015, 4:22pm   #23
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Originally Posted by DukeAllen View Post
You really gotta put down that expired beer and stop PUI before you get arrested
I played beer roulette yesterday. I had two recent beers and took two old ones and I shuffled them and drank them. I couldn't tell any difference between any of them. I will take that as a sign they are still good...or as bad as a new one.
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Old 07-17-2015, 4:38pm   #24
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Old 07-17-2015, 11:13pm   #25
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The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life...
This enables you at 85 years old To spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home
at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
Five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old
And we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
Especially when they are taken
By people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
Is so that I could hear heavy breathing again .

I have to walk early in the morning,
Before my brain figures out what I'm doing...

I joined a health club last year. Spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear that dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day
Is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
Start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
The last few years,......
Just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
Because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
About how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
And by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
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