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Old 02-13-2020, 7:12pm   #1
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Default Wishes

A man got 2 wishes from god. He asked for the best wine and best woman.
Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.
Moral: Be Specific.
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says: "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says: "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says: "I want two more of these."
A guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this salt encrusted piece of metal. He scratched away at it to remove the salt, to reveal a very old oil lamp. With an embarrassed look around him, the guy gives it a quick rub... a Genie appeared.
This genie, like all genies, was so happy to be freed of the lamp that he granted the guy three wishes.
"I wish to be a dollar richer than Bill Gates," says the guy.
"You will forever be a dollar richer than Bill Gates. What's your second wish?"
"Genie, I want the most expensive Porsche made: Fire engine red, on board GPS and the finest audio system ever installed in an automobile."
The genie waved his hand and the requested Porsche appeared.
"But what about the third wish?"
"Genie," the guy said, "I can't think of anything now. May I save the third wish for later?"
"Gee, this is most unusual. But you're in control, and I can't escape from this lamp until you make a third wish. Call me when you're ready," and whoosh the genie disappeared back into the lamp.
The guy carefully placed the lamp on the passenger seat of his new car, and fastened the seat belt. He turns on the radio and pulled off the beach, heading south along the Pacific Coast Highway.
Soon he was up to 60, then 70, then 80. The Porsche handled perfectly. The guy was so happy that he began to sing along with the familiar commercial on the radio.
"Oh, I wish I was an Oscar-Mayer Wiener..."
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Old 02-17-2020, 9:21am   #2
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