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Off Topic Off Topic - General non-Corvette related discussion. |
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06-26-2011, 12:08pm | #21 | ||||||
Barn Raising I,II
Bantayan Kids '13
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He was as scared as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
She was as confused as a blind lesbian in a tuna factory. |
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06-26-2011, 12:11pm | #22 | ||||||
Dorkapottamus
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06-26-2011, 12:19pm | #23 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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'bout as dangerous as wipin' your butt with a broke beer bottle..
As quiet as Chick-Fil-a on a Sunday afternoon.. ...sandpaper a bobcat's behind in a telephone booth... Full as a tick in a blood bank. And my all-time favorite: "The world don't want to hear about the labor pains, they just want to see the baby." Johnny Sain |
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06-26-2011, 12:20pm | #24 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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Here are a couple more of my own crazy things. To fully understand you had to be there, but they can work.
“If they wanted it done right, why did they hire me?” ''I’m a fast learner, show me something 15-16 times I catch right on''! |
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06-26-2011, 12:44pm | #25 | ||||||
Barn Stall Owner #11
Barn Raising I,II,III NCM Supporter '11
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Cuter than socks on a rooster.
Off like a sundress in a hurricane. Off like a prom dress. |
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06-26-2011, 12:50pm | #26 | ||||||
Vette Barn Crew
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06-26-2011, 12:53pm | #27 | ||||||
Barn Stall Owner #93
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Hard as Michael Jackson at an all boy preschool.
Well grease me up and make me squeal like Al Gore on a Sunday. Cuter than a nun's bunghole on Christmas. (Thrakk made these up but claims zero responsibility) |
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06-26-2011, 12:56pm | #28 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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Hotter than two fat rats f'n in a wool sock.
Higher than giraffe p*ssy. Her ass is two ax handles wide. Nuttier than a squirrel turd. |
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06-26-2011, 12:59pm | #29 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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Busier than a two peckered billy goat.
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06-26-2011, 1:14pm | #30 | ||||||
Bamboo Boy
Bantayan Kids '13,'14,15
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I think she likes it in the ear...
Every time I try to stick it in her mouth... She turns her head... (Island14) |
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06-26-2011, 2:15pm | #31 | ||||||
Barn Stall Owner #47
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"she ain't got enough ass to keep the ***** off the sheets."
"well fuk me running." "damn her teeth look like she has been nawing on a crab trap." "she looks like a busted can of biscuits" "she could suck sand out of concrete." |
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06-26-2011, 2:18pm | #32 | ||||||
Barn Stall Owner #55
Island14 Cardio Team
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Just make sure you have your shit straight when you jump off your horse and blow your whistle.
Harder than herding crickets on horseback. Like trying to stuff spaghetti up a tiger's ass Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty but the pig likes it. |
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06-26-2011, 2:22pm | #33 | ||||||
Barn Stall Owner #74
Barn Raising II Bantayan Kids '13,'17
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Like trying to herd cats
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06-26-2011, 2:50pm | #34 | ||||||
Barn Stall Owner #762
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....my asshole was so tight you couldn't drive a flax seed up it with a sledge hammer...
She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down... Her ass was so big that if you told her to haul ass it would take two trips. Here's a really old one... her ass looks like Buck Jones horse. She's so buck toothed she could eat corn on the cob through a chain link fence. |
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06-26-2011, 2:54pm | #35 | ||||||
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Don't worry about the mule bein' blind, just load the wagon - John Madden
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06-26-2011, 3:02pm | #36 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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"You can shit and slide in it..." (piss off basically)
in the winter time, I always say I hope it snows "asshole deep to a 10 ft indian". That's about the only unusual ones I have. |
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06-26-2011, 3:13pm | #37 | ||||||
SnowJob
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Why would I lie if it wasn't true!
Good looking girl except for that gun in her mouth. |
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06-26-2011, 3:17pm | #38 | ||||||
Dorkapottamus
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06-26-2011, 7:00pm | #39 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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Happier than a three petered puppy
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06-26-2011, 7:25pm | #40 | ||||||
Barn Stall Owner #89
Bantayan Kids '13
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Dayum.........I bet she could suck start a 747
Uglier than a busted blister. More nervous than a blind queer at a weinie roast. Sweatin' like a whore in church. I got tattoos all over my arms and none of 'em say stupid. Mess with me, I'll cut your face off and wipe my ass with it. I'm the nicest guy in the world. Until I've been provoked. Then you shall see Satan personified. Well, feck me freddie. That damn nut was tighter than a stuck booger. That damn thing is tighter than a gnats ass stretched across a rain barrel. Damn, her ass is 2 axe handles and a snuff box wide. I wouldn't piss on his teeth if his tonsils were on fire. I got yer hope and change riiiiight heeeere, pal. If stupidity were corn flakes, you'd be Tony the Tiger. Yes, I'm drunk. Do you really think I'd bother talking to you were I sober? Shot at and missed, shit on and hit. Stop jawin' and start pourin,' you monkey. I'll be damned if I have a sober bartender to tell me when I've had enough. Grinnin' like a jackass eatin briars through a barbed wire fence. Stunk bad enough to give a hyena the dry heaves. Stunk worse than a skunk puking up dead fish. Thats more fecked up than a football bat. And many, many more. Especially when I've been drinking. |
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