An explanation for the women here...

[lspencer534]

Ms.Gem started a thread last night (perhaps rather awkwardly, but I could be wrong) in which she tried to understand how men work. My comments should rightfully go in her thread, but that thread has about run its course, so I'll just start my own. (Sue me.)

Men work like this: We would prefer our philosophy to be, "Never explain, never apologize." That's the way we'd prefer things to be. Sirus. But of course we can't just come out and say that...however much we'd like to. We're like that for a couple of reasons: One, we are no good at talking about our feelings. We simply cannot articulate them as well as women can, and it becomes extremely embarrassing and stressful to us; the stress level is just below what one feels on the battlefield. And because of this we can get frustrated in that discussion and often make things even worse by losing our temper.

Another reason is that we men are pretty simple creatures. We want only three things in life: (1) Sex, (2) To play with our toys, and (3) To be left alone. We can be trained to pick up our things, to cook (and rather well, at that), and to bathe on the weekend. Beyond that it gets pretty iffy.

We will really never grow up. No matter how rich, successful, wordly, or wise me might become, we are still entertained by the same things that entertained us in high school: Drinking, cars, hunting and fishing, and chasing women (either in actuality or in our minds). Men at a party will spend the night insulting each other and not mean a word of it. (Women at that same party will spend the night complimenting each other and not mean a word of it either).

And we love having women on this Forum. We may give you a hard time (See, "We will really never grow up", above), but that is our idea of interacting. Please note that we give the same treatment to each other. If this thread gets any interest, I ask the men here to honestly answer any question the women may have. It's not like you are having a heart-to-heart with a spouse/SO; you can leave the discussion at any time.

And Happy New Year, everybody!

[DAB]

Cliffs?

[PortDawg]

Pretty much covers it...

[DukeAllen]

Originally Posted by DAB

Cliffs?

Feed us, lay us, then move out of the way of the tv

[CP]

Did you get all that from Ken??

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by DAB

Cliffs?

I forgot to add, "Men have the attention span of a gnat."

[DAB]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

I forgot to add, "Men have the attention span of a gnat."

Oooh, look! A bird.

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by DAB

Oooh, look! A bird.

In the sky?

[DAB]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

In the sky?

Nope. Eating bird food on the ground.

[lspencer534]

I think the comments so far amply prove my point....

[xXBUDXx]

Pics of your female cousin or neighbor?

[DukeAllen]

Originally Posted by DAB

Oooh, look! A bird.

Where?

[Cybercowboy]

With men, it's not a matter of "growing up", it's finding a woman who can put up with us. I'm 52 today and am totally a kid at heart. Spence is right, we are simple creatures with simple needs and suck at the touchy-feely stuff woman are so adept at.

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by xXBUDXx

Pics of your female cousin or neighbor?

Actually I have two female cousins that were pretty hot in their day. One of them thought I looked like Paul Newman (before he died). Yes, I tried....

[99 pewtercoupe]

Nice summary counselor

[Cybercowboy]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

Actually I have two female cousins that were pretty hot in their day. One of them thought I looked like Paul Newman (before he died). Yes, I tried....

Back when I was in my mid-to-late 30's and had long hair typically pulled back in a pony tail I constantly heard I looked just like Steven Segal. Yah.

It got to be so ridiculous that I've been asked for autographs in Nashville, Las Vegas, Branson, and even here in Joplin while in a limo. I always signed them. Walking down Bourbon Street in Nawlins was always entertaining, likewise Duval Street in Key West.

In the limo thing, we had rented a limo with another couple to go to a Monday Night Football game in KC. We had the windows down in the back and at a stop light two women next to us did a double take and got out of their car, holding a notepad and a pen, and gushed "Would you sign your autograph Mr. Segal!?!" Then the other chick saw a person sitting next to me and asked who he was. His real name was Phil so I said "Oh, that's Phil Collins." They both made loud squealing noises and we signed "Steven Segal" and "Phil Collins" and handed the notepad back. I imagine somewhere they have that piece of paper framed.

[Allan]

Originally Posted by DukeAllen

Feed us, lay us, then move out of the way of the tv

I anxiously await a response from MEC5Lady. You know she won't let this thread go.

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by Cybercowboy

Back when I was in my mid-to-late 30's and had long hair typically pulled back in a pony tail I constantly heard I looked just like Steven Segal. Yah.

It got to be so ridiculous that I've been asked for autographs in Nashville, Las Vegas, Branson, and even here in Joplin while in a limo. I always signed them. Walking down Bourbon Street in Nawlins was always entertaining, likewise Duval Street in Key West.

In the limo thing, we had rented a limo with another couple to go to a Monday Night Football game in KC. We had the windows down in the back and at a stop light two women next to us did a double take and got out of their car, holding a notepad and a pen, and gushed "Would you sign your autograph Mr. Segal!?!" Then the other chick saw a person sitting next to me and asked who he was. His real name was Phil so I said "Oh, that's Phil Collins." They both made loud squealing noises and we signed "Steven Segal" and "Phil Collins" and handed the notepad back. I imagine somewhere they have that piece of paper framed.

That's a great story!

My trick used to be to wear a white shirt to the beach; the shirt had a collar on in like a priest's shirt. I got addressed as "Father" all the time.

[DAB]

CC- can I have your autograph ....... On a check?

[Cybercowboy]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

That's a great story!

My trick used to be to wear a white shirt to the beach; the shirt had a collar on in like a priest's shirt. I got addressed as "Father" all the time.

In Nashville we had a business meeting in the morning, then went out for lunch in one of the more trendy areas of Nashville, wherever that was. There was about 5 of us, all wearing suits. While eating lunch I mentioned that people mistake me for Steven Segal (one of the women at the meeting earlier brought it up, and one of the guys at lunch asked who it was she said I looked like.)

After lunch we all left and I was slightly in front of the other four guys. A car drove by and stopped suddenly and backed up quickly. A chick jumped out, ran over to me jumping up and down, and asked for my autograph. She didn't even say who she thought I was. I signed "Steven Segal" as usual and she kind of sighed like a mini-orgasm and then asked sheepishly "Can I kiss you on the cheek?" I said "Cheek, no. Lips, yes." and planted one on her but good. She almost fainted. The guys with me played their parts, acting like body guards. The guy in the car was glaring at me. They drove off and we all just about pissed ourselves laughing.