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Old 12-21-2019, 10:01am   #21
MadInNc
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I have to take fioricet regularly and that really makes it easier to win the office farting contest. I’ve cleared out public restrooms quite often because of how I react to these meds.
Good to know.... when we fly to Vegas I’ll upgrade and you and Jet can go at it....
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Old 12-21-2019, 10:02am   #22
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Good to know.... when we fly to Vegas I’ll upgrade and you and Jet can go at it....
We’ll end up on the no-fly list
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Old 12-21-2019, 10:09am   #23
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Were you spying on me yesterday?
No. And for God's sake, would it kill you to put the cap on the toothpaste once in a while? Also, your toilet paper roll is installed backwards.

















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Old 12-21-2019, 10:31am   #24
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No. And for God's sake, would it kill you to put the cap on the toothpaste once in a while? Also, your toilet paper roll is installed backwards.







And why is the cheap Bastage using single ply?
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Old 12-21-2019, 10:33am   #25
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When I eat at Waffle House, no prediction is needed. The only concern is whether or not I can actually make it back to the house before I hit critical mass.
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Old 12-21-2019, 10:42am   #26
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When I eat at Waffle House, no prediction is needed. The only concern is whether or not I can actually make it back to the house before I hit critical mass.
Except it's Chipotle. I can eat there and an hour later be ready for a colonoscopy.

Maybe I should lay off the "sun- baked pork".
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Old 12-21-2019, 3:04pm   #27
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Only a poop thread could turn a parrot into real, useful info

BTW, I just got over a norovirus bout and had my first "safe" fart in 4 days this morning
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Old 12-21-2019, 4:32pm   #28
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No. And for God's sake, would it kill you to put the cap on the toothpaste once in a while? Also, your toilet paper roll is installed backwards.



At least I use toothpaste.

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And why is the cheap Bastogne using single ply?
That's what they have at the marina.
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Old 12-21-2019, 4:48pm   #29
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At least I use toothpaste.


That's what they have at the marina.
I thought it was only half-ply there.
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Old 12-21-2019, 9:59pm   #30
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Have you ever had one of those mornings where you get up out of bed, ready to face the day, and then your bowels suggest that you might want to clear your calendar for a few hours?

Yes, today is that kind of day.
Are you sayin your turds are as big as footballs!
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Old 12-22-2019, 12:42am   #31
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Only a poop thread could turn a parrot into real, useful info

BTW, I just got over a norovirus bout and had my first "safe" fart in 4 days this morning
Norovirus is nothing to sneeze at. That is some serious shit. And puke. It literally changes the cell structure of your intestinal lining. I got it in a remote area. I’m trying to forget it.
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Old 12-22-2019, 1:11am   #32
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My first KETO shit was a doozy.
I think it was from the huge amounts of fiber I ingested from Avocados and not enough water in my diet.
I sat on the toilet for about an hour trying to get one ginormous, dense log out.
I was in excruciating pain for about 59:59 minutes until it started to pass and then it stopped. Pain came back ten fold.
Took another 10 minutes to pass it. Thought I was going to pass out. I was screaming at the ****er to get the **** out of my ass.
Felt like I was passing broken glass.
The next day I started having prostate problems. Coincidence?
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Old 12-22-2019, 10:49am   #33
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And why is the cheap Bastage using single ply?
but that's what they have at Taco Bell.
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Old 12-22-2019, 5:49pm   #34
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My first KETO shit was a doozy.
I think it was from the huge amounts of fiber I ingested from Avocados and not enough water in my diet.
I sat on the toilet for about an hour trying to get one ginormous, dense log out.
I was in excruciating pain for about 59:59 minutes until it started to pass and then it stopped. Pain came back ten fold.
Took another 10 minutes to pass it. Thought I was going to pass out. I was screaming at the ****er to get the **** out of my ass.
Felt like I was passing broken glass.
The next day I started having prostate problems. Coincidence?
FYI
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Old 12-22-2019, 11:23pm   #35
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True
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Old 12-23-2019, 7:25am   #36
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Originally Posted by kingpin View Post
My first KETO shit was a doozy.
I think it was from the huge amounts of fiber I ingested from Avocados and not enough water in my diet.
I sat on the toilet for about an hour trying to get one ginormous, dense log out.
I was in excruciating pain for about 59:59 minutes until it started to pass and then it stopped. Pain came back ten fold.
Took another 10 minutes to pass it. Thought I was going to pass out. I was screaming at the ****er to get the **** out of my ass.
Felt like I was passing broken glass.
The next day I started having prostate problems. Coincidence?
You should have kept in mind what constipated mathematicians do: work it out with a pencil and paper.
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Old 12-23-2019, 8:45am   #37
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We are sending the “special bus” to help KP

@kingpin
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Old 12-23-2019, 10:44am   #38
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pewp-sucker
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Old 12-23-2019, 10:51am   #39
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Originally Posted by snide View Post
At least I use toothpaste.


That's what they have at the marina.
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Old 12-23-2019, 11:39am   #40
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It'll be brown and smelly
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