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Old 09-13-2019, 9:44am   #1
Broken Wind
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Default I’m going to experience my first real loss soon

I’ve lived a charmed life I guess. I’m in my 60s and have yet to experience the loss of an immediate family member. My parents are both in their 80s and it appears my dad now has leukemia. He’s had two TIAs in the past twenty years, and he hasn’t been doing well at all recently. Each time I see him I can detect a degradation, both mentally and physically.

Meanwhile, Mom’s mental acuity is slipping badly. Within a 10 minute span, she will ask me the same questions three times.

They are both in assisted living, and regardless of how the brochures portray it, it’s a depressing place to be.

None of you know me, but I would ask that you keep my family in your thoughts as we prepare to go through what surely will be tough times in the near future.

Thanks,
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Old 09-13-2019, 9:53am   #2
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It sucks dude. There's no easy way to say it. But you just hang in there. Others will count on you to do the things that need done.
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Old 09-13-2019, 9:54am   #3
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Old 09-13-2019, 9:54am   #4
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You have both sympathy and empathy from this corner on the sphere......

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Old 09-13-2019, 9:55am   #5
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Old 09-13-2019, 10:19am   #6
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Thinking of you in this difficult time.
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Old 09-13-2019, 10:38am   #7
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My Dad 71 went in '86, my Mom 91 in '11. Brought her down to assisted living close to me, she really liked it. She had went down quick, had to move her to nursing home, lasted 10 days. Those last few weeks, brought her favorite 7/11 coffee every morning, just the simple things she enjoyed.

No fun going through what you have in front of you, just give them support and be near and see as often as you can.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:15am   #8
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My Dad died when I was a kid, and my Mom got remarried when I was in college to a fine man. He passed while I was in my 2nd year in the Air Force in 1992. Mom passed in 2016. I've lost so many close relatives and friends, that I can't count them all at this point. It absolutely stinks, but just pray that your parents don't suffer. You (and they) have done well to have each other this long. That might not negate the pain, because there is no replacement. Think about all the good times, and make the best out of what you have left. You have been really blessed. Hang in there, because it will still be tough, but we have you in our thoughts.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:16am   #9
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My sympathies BW
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:18am   #10
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So sorry. I lost my dad in January of last year, it's really rough. Prayers
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:51am   #11
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Lost both parents in 1994....it is never easy you have our prayers
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Old 09-13-2019, 3:40pm   #12
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My sympathies, I’m trying to get my head around the same as my parents are definitely on the downhill
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Old 09-13-2019, 4:16pm   #13
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I sometimes forget how fortunate I am to have both of may parents. In the daily grind it is easy to forget that they won't always be here. Sometimes I am quick to just shout "goodnight...see you in the morning" up the stairs at them and then realize later that one day that won't be true ...I may not see them in the morning. each goodnight could be the last one.
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Old 09-13-2019, 6:28pm   #14
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Old 09-13-2019, 8:27pm   #15
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Wishing you the best during this difficult time. While this part of life is less than desirable, at least you still have them. My Dad passed 20 years ago this past March.

Remember and cherish the good times

Jeff
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Old 09-13-2019, 9:17pm   #16
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I've got one down, and the other doing the long goodnight. It's tough....really tough. I feel your pain, OP. And yes, it's super frustrating to hear the same question over and over.

"Is the cat inside or outside?"

[sigh]

One thing you'll learn is patience.
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Old 09-13-2019, 10:58pm   #17
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I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Mine passed 1985 and 1977.
There's always regrets for things not done and things not said.
But the memories are sweeter and more treasured after they're gone.
Make the most of the time you have and always greet and leave with a smile.
These final days will be deep for you. Make them special.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:11pm   #18
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My thoughts are with you during this time. Take care of them and do your best.
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Old 09-14-2019, 4:08am   #19
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There is so much I want to tell my mother.
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Old 09-14-2019, 4:45am   #20
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I know what you are going though. I lost my dad in 2007 and I still think about him. I hate it that he never got to ride or drive any of my corvettes.
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