Lost my Mom to Cancer last month

[erickpl]

I don't normally share much about my home life on here. But it's been one month (yesterday) that she passed and it still weighs on me.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago and did what needed to be done to beat it. Years went by and she had a totally normal life. Her mom ended up needing home health care and my mom became her caregiver, despite the fact she didn't like my mom (her daughter) nearly as much as she cherished her sons. My mom stuck it out and gave the best care she could give for about 8 years. During my grandmother's last months, my mom got news that the cancer had returned metastisized in her jaw and spine.

That was three years ago. She fought it with an incredible team of doctors. This past September she had to have surgery to deal with a gastric issue related to the cancer. From that point on, she was fighting cancer or fighting infections (which meant she couldn't do chemo). Her color changed, she lost her hair, and she lost her physical strength. But that cancer could NOT beat her spirit. It could NOT beat the fight out of her. She would NOT.GIVE.UP.

In April, we headed up to St. Louis where they live after having been there less than a month before. The doctors recommended in March to go to hospice as the chemo wasn't slowing things down and all it was doing was making her sick. So she started hospice. On our April visit, you could tell it was close. but she still fought. She wasn't able to talk much. She slept a lot.

On the 23rd of April, her body started shutting down and we (my fathers, sisters, my wife, and me) were there at her side and took care of her. Along the way during that day, her look physically changed, like her soul had left, and it was just her body we were maintaining. At 9:30p, she passed peacefully.

Prior to that though, my dad told her, "It's okay to go. Your fight is done and you have better things awaiting you." My wife and I watched from another room as my mom, in her last conscious effort, gave my dad a hug around the neck and told him she loved him.

It was peaceful. That doesn't make it hurt any less. My 5'3" mother was THE most gracious, loving, giving, caring, intelligent, and beautiful person I have had the honor and blessing of knowing.

My dad lost his wife of 55 years 2 days after the 57th anniversary of him proposing at her junior/senior prom. We lost a woman who was incredibly talented at so many things - yet never boasted about them. We lost a woman who taught about love, grace, and dignity even under the worst conditions. We lost a woman whose spirit and body fought a battle at a level many never thought possible with a strength unseen and faith unwavering.

And she did it with grace. Always with grace.

Always the lady, my mom was polite and gracious at times when the rest of us would be anything but. And oh, how she could laugh!!! Her laughter was so contagious! I can hear it now as she dances in heaven with those that have gone before her and missed every day. They welcome her with open arms and their celebration is underway.

I hope we made her half as proud of us as we are, and always will be, of her.

All of us kids have characteristics of both mom and dad. That’s normal. But we got them from OUR mom and dad. Some of those traits may not be the best LOL, but we got the good ones too. They shaped us into the adults, parents, spouses, and friends we are today.

Mom will always live in and around us, and through her showing us the way, we will be a positive reflection on the wonderful woman she is.

[MrPeabody]

Sounds like a classy lady who left you with a lot of great memories. Sorry to hear she's no longer with you here on earth, but take it from someone who lost his mom in '04. She will always be a part of you.

[04 commemorative]

Enjoy your memories and sorry for your loss......lost my mom in 94 and not a day goes by I don't miss her

[snide]

Sorry for your loss.

[Black94lt1]

My condolences

[Barn Babe]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[VITE1]

Sorry for your loss.

[mrvette]

Sorry for your loss man....

[Dan Dlabay]

Sorry for your lose. May she rest in peace and be blessed by God.

[Olustee bus]

A pretty, very strong amazing woman. So sorry for your loss

[69camfrk]

So sorry for your loss. It is an incredibly tough thing to go through.

[Sea Six]

Very sorry to hear.

[NCC-1701]

My condolences may she rest in peace...

[JRD77VET]

Very sorry to hear about your Mom Sounds like a strong woman with good values.

Cherish the memories she left

[boracayjohnny]

The words painted such a great story of your mother. She would be proud of how well you did.

My condolences to you and your family.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

[TripleBlack]

Sorry for your loss.

[Bill]

Sorry for your loss. I suspect most of us here are at the age where we have or are close to being in the same situation. I'm caring for my own mom right now, and I know she won't be with me forever.

Stay strong.

[Broken Wind]

Your description of her final moments with your dad overwhelmed me. So sorry for your loss.

[erickpl]

Originally Posted by Broken Wind

Your description of her final moments with your dad overwhelmed me. So sorry for your loss.

It was pretty overwhelming to see.

Shed some tears at that point, then had to shut everything off to get done what needed to be done. My sisters asked me to write the eulogy and all I could do was regurgitate a few things onto the screen. One of my sisters then took what I wrote, polished it up, and used it to give the eulogy.

Dad asked me to do a slideshow/music montage for the viewing. That was ridiculously tough. All the photos I saw just brought back more memories. Once I got to photos from the time before I was born, it was a bit easier, but still tough.

Love your parents. Love your siblings. You never know when that news will come. For some it will be quick. For others, it will be slow and drawn out. Both have their own kind of pain and hurt.

I take comfort in knowing she's done fighting and she's up there in Heaven practicing her dance moves for when she and Dad are reunited. For me, the world is a bit darker with her out of it, but Heaven is a lot brighter.