All I wanted was more beer. My neighbor couldn't even do that right.

[Vandelay Industries]

So I was a little under the weather yesterday and ran short of a couple things. I didn't feel up to going out so I started calling some neighbors, but nobody was around to help.

As a last resort I called somebody who lives a couple houses down. He's that one guy every neighborhood has--pretty odd and thinks he knows everything. If he's not carrying rocks around outside and putting them in his driveway (wtf?), he's screaming at his chainsaw because he can't get it started. I used to talk to him a few times a week, but I couldn't take his odd sayings like "You mad bro?" Over the winter he prattled on about verts or something and that was kind of the last straw.

Anyway...I asked him to pick me up some beer and Gatorade and maybe a bottle of Coke. I like a good rum & coke in the evening. Thankfully he agreed to help me out without too much chitchat.

Get this! He came back with a 6 pack of Bud Light, some store brand sports drink (It was on sale ) and diet Pepsi.

But that's not the worst of it! He also bought a pack of cut fruit ! At least I can use the pineapple when I make pina coladas.

If that wasn't bad enough, he brings me 3 cans of chicken soup--I hate that shit! And I have no idea why he wants me to save the cans for him.

As a final kick in the nuts, this guy calls 911 and has the ambulance take me away, even though I told him I'm fine! Just wait till I get out of here.

I'm done with this fool--I have no idea how his wife puts up with him. She seems like a sweetheart.

[Tikiman]

Well played.

[Big bob]

I have seen fools like this. Always bragging how well they are doing while living off their women. All have a little side hustle. One does filler writing and the other rents out his neighbors homes out and steals their water when not around. Another just lays around naked by the pool trying to whip up another 50 bucks.

[Ronins2ndCuzzin]

Were you dying? WTF?

[Bill]

Nicely done 9.1/10. Could have used images for slightly more 'pop.' Probably would view thread again.

[Sea Six]

8/10 Would read again

[Steve_R]

[OnPoint]

[MadInNc]

[Onebadcad]

Very most excellent writing skills!!
Have you considered a job writing Corvette articles for the interwebby??

[Vandelay Industries]

Originally Posted by Onebadcad

Very most excellent writing skills!!
Have you considered a job writing Corvette articles for the interwebby??

Thanks, but I don't know if can handle the pressures of being a paid, professional writer.

[Onebadcad]

Originally Posted by Vandelay Industries

Thanks, but I don't know if can handle the pressures of being a paid, professional writer.

Wine from a box may calm your anxiety, if not grab your neighbor by the nutzsack as he bashes you to the ground.

[Swany00]

great creativity

[GTOguy]

Hilarious and very well written. Would read again.

[Yadkin]

Originally Posted by Vandelay Industries

So I was a little under the weather yesterday and ran short of a couple things. I didn't feel up to going out so I started calling some neighbors, but nobody was around to help.

Next time, remember, Publix delivers. Will save you having to resort to calling The Guy.

[Aerovette]

Originally Posted by Big bob

I have seen fools like this. Always bragging how well they are doing while living off their women. All have a little side hustle. One does filler writing and the other rents out his neighbors homes out and steals their water when not around. Another just lays around naked by the pool trying to whip up another 50 bucks.

I hope you mean NAV, otherwise...brain bleach.

[The_Dude]

[dvarapala]

Parrot of the Year.

[Vandelay Industries]

Originally Posted by Yadkin

Next time, remember, Publix delivers. Will save you having to resort to calling The Guy.

[Yadkin]

Originally Posted by Vandelay Industries

Do they have supermarket deliveries in Massachushits, or is that also illegal?