Goodbye Linda.

[slewfoot]

Originally Posted by LisaJohn

1. I still catch myself thinking I need to ask or tell mom something or mom would like this, think something is funny, etc.

My wife is going through this right now. her mom passed last month at 92.

When we got married 28 years ago. She had weekly Sunday morning phone calls to her mom at 8am over a period of time, same day but times change a bit through the morning.

As her parents got up in age and dad passed 4 years ago, the times changed to the afternoon at 5pm.

Then went to daily at 5pm up to the end. Now she is lost. Automatic triggers to call.

[DAB]

Was curious this morning, so just figured out we were married 7,334 days. and they went so quickly.....

[DAB]

Well, it's been 4 weeks.

Still miss her dearly, every day. (crying as i type this).

got a book yesterday, one useful tidbit i pulled out: you have to take care of yourself first, and grieving can take as long as it takes.

[dwjz06]

Originally Posted by DAB

Well, it's been 4 weeks.

Still miss her dearly, every day. (crying as i type this).

got a book yesterday, one useful tidbit i pulled out: you have to take care of yourself first, and grieving can take as long as it takes.

Amen

[dwjz06]

Originally Posted by aerovette

An example of #2.

My Dad liked all the John Wick movies. I do too, but for some reason I don't want to see the new one when it is released because he can't watch it with me. Things like that.

Should not take anything away from you Jeff. You still have to live my friend. Just relish in the memories you had. He will still be with you in things just not the same way. You and your mom have to enjoy the things you all like too. It takes time sir.

[Aerovette]

Originally Posted by dwjz06

Should not take anything away from you Jeff. You still have to live my friend. Just relish in the memories you had. He will still be with you in things just not the same way. You and your mom have to enjoy the things you all like too. It takes time sir.

It's brutal. Hardest on my mom. I hate watching it. Her heart is shattered.

[DAB]

Every little bit helps:

called SSA last week to inquire about the $255 one time death benefit for surviving spouses. well, yes, I'm eligible, they were very, very busy, took my info, and suggested i call back in about 2 weeks.

ok.

out of the blue about 30 min ago, got a call from the ABQ office, they were trying to help out the busy Santa Fe office, nice guy took down info, and confirmed my banking info (same place they've been sending her checks all these years), and I should get a direct deposit in a few weeks.



so thank you to everyone for working so hard and paying all those juicy SS taxes, i'll put it toward something useful.

for once, a friendly and efficient encounter with our beloved Fed. Gov't. go figure.

[ricks327]

Dab,
New to the Barn from CF and have read your posts about the love and loss of your beloved Linda. Sorry for your loss. The old saying that time heals all pain is not entirely true, time only softens the pain.
Having served in the Army, 30+ year LEO and experienced many deaths of family, co-workers and close others, the pain never goes away but just diminishes. Remember the good times, anniversaries and other cherished times because the tears will flow but the smiles will overtake the tears.
When the sad moments come, just remember to smile for the good times.
Rick

[dwjz06]

Originally Posted by aerovette

It's brutal. Hardest on my mom. I hate watching it. Her heart is shattered.

Understand sir. Start some new things with mom. Ask her for some things she has wanted to do or even past things missed. You both understand the same pain in different ways. Just do your best, and keep moving forward.

[DAB]

well, that was quick.

the one time payment of $255 showed up in our account today. wow.

i'll get something good later.

[JRD77VET]

My Dad passed 3-3-1999 . About 2 or 3 months later, I had a dream ( vision?) where Mary and I were walking in a big city and as we turned the corner, we met my Dad and Step Mom ( she was/is still alive) . I was happy to see him and asked "How are you doing?"

He replied ,"it's wonderful and I'm doing well" Then said I have to go and disappeared into the crowd.

It really made me feel at ease.

Hopefully something similar is in the big plan for you too.

[DAB]

and one month later, got her Roth account moved to mine. guess that's good news.

got her gardens watered this morning, tomorrow is indoor watering (every 2 saturdays.).

the cards have stopped, not so many calls, and i'm adjusting to a quieter life alone.

[Aerovette]

Originally Posted by JRD77VET

My Dad passed 3-3-1999 . About 2 or 3 months later, I had a dream ( vision?) where Mary and I were walking in a big city and as we turned the corner, we met my Dad and Step Mom ( she was/is still alive) . I was happy to see him and asked "How are you doing?"

He replied ,"it's wonderful and I'm doing well" Then said I have to go and disappeared into the crowd.

It really made me feel at ease.

Hopefully something similar is in the big plan for you too.

I'd love to have this dream. I'm so worried for my dad and hope if there is an afterlife, it is everything he would want.

[DAB]

Originally Posted by aerovette

I'd love to have this dream. I'm so worried for my dad and hope if there is an afterlife, it is everything he would want.

in her last days, she could barely talk, but she could hear me fine. so i assured her she's going to love the mansion God has prepared for her in heaven. all decorated, and no dust!!!

Luke 14:2-3 -
2 In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

she smiled at that. I know where she is, and i know where i'm going.

[73sbVert]

Douglas, you're always welcome to stay with us, if you ever decide to make a little road trip to Tucson!


P&T

[DAB]

Originally Posted by 73sbVert

Douglas, you're always welcome to stay with us, if you ever decide to make a little road trip to Tucson!


P&T

thanks brother.

for now, i like being at our home.

[JRD77VET]

Originally Posted by aerovette

I'd love to have this dream. I'm so worried for my dad and hope if there is an afterlife, it is everything he would want.

It was two to three months after he passed. Give it time and hopefully it'll happen for you.

[SnikPlosskin]

I believe when you dream of loved ones who have passed on that it is them “visiting” you. It’s only happened to me once or twice in the four years my dad passed away. At the same time, he was a man of few words.

[DAB]

as i'm falling asleep last night, i talked to Linda briefly, but know that there will be no reply. just some things you have to get off your heart.

[09CTSV]

Originally Posted by DAB

as i'm falling asleep last night, i talked to Linda briefly, but know that there will be no reply. just some things you have to get off your heart.

My Mom passed away in 1967, I was 5 years old. As I got along in life, certain milestones I felt she was there guiding me along the right path and helping me make life decisions.
There is a warmness in my heart when I think of her and can feel her presence in my life.
At times I feel she talks with me and keeps me out of the ditch and on the straight and narrow.