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Off Topic Off Topic - General non-Corvette related discussion. |
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03-10-2017, 5:41pm | #1 | ||||||
Barn Raising II,III
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MrVette calls tech support...
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one... Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? ************************ Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can’t find printer’. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it.. ************************* Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. ************************* This is my favorite: Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five dots. ************************* Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.. ************************* Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. ************************* Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first email. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? ************************* A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' ************************ Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.' Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT |
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03-10-2017, 5:43pm | #2 | ||||||
Sparkles Flambeaux
Barn Stall Owner #4 Barn Raising I,II NCM Supporter '13,'14,'15,'16,'17,'21 Bantayan Kids '13,'14,'15,'17
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sounds about right per NSA and CIA logs.
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03-10-2017, 5:47pm | #3 | ||||||
10cm member
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I can tell you EXACTLY what the problem with Canon printers is. Their ink cartridge will print 3 pages, then run out of ink. Bastages! I wondered why a photo quality printer was being sold for $ 49 new. Live and learn.
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03-10-2017, 5:50pm | #4 | ||||||
10cm member
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03-10-2017, 5:55pm | #5 | ||||||
Sparkles Flambeaux
Barn Stall Owner #4 Barn Raising I,II NCM Supporter '13,'14,'15,'16,'17,'21 Bantayan Kids '13,'14,'15,'17
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gal calls tech support, complains that she can't get on the internet.
ok, try entering google.com nope, nothing. you are spelling it correctly? yes. you have . c o m at the end? yes. you sure? well, my M is stuck, so i typed N twice, isn't that the same thing? |
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03-10-2017, 7:52pm | #6 | ||||||
Bantayan Kids '17
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https://www.chroniclesofgeorge.com/tickets1.html
If you're in IT at all, this site will, well read for yourself |
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03-11-2017, 2:29am | #7 | ||||||
Barn Stall Owner #13
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I was helping a coworker look for a file the other day and said "type .xlxs in the search field" so we could find all the excel files on the desktop. As she typed "dotxl" and suddenly stopped, we both busted out laughing
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03-11-2017, 9:10am | #8 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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The website is down #4
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03-11-2017, 1:40pm | #9 | ||||||
Moderator
Barn Stall Owner #20 Barn Stall Owner #33 Barn Raising I,II NCM Supporter '11,'13,'14,'20,'21 Bantayan Kids '13
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03-11-2017, 3:48pm | #10 | |||||||
A Real Barner
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Quote:
Summation: Fukk me? No, fukk you. |
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03-11-2017, 4:45pm | #11 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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I liked my old desktop better than my laptop because it had a cup holder that would pop right out of it.
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03-11-2017, 6:58pm | #12 | |||||||
Chief Meat Gazer
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Quote:
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03-11-2017, 7:06pm | #13 | ||||||
Chief Meat Gazer
Charter Member Barn Stall Owner #98 Barn Raising II,III,IV
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