I command all of you to bookmark this website:

[Will]

The Washington Dispatch | News and Opinion You Won't Find Anywhere Else


DO IT NOW.


Also, if you have Twitter, follow my personal account and the Washington Dispatch account:

https://twitter.com/#!/William_Bridges

https://twitter.com/#!/DC_Dispatch

[Giraffe (He/Him)]

Too many useless graphs and charts. Who has time to make these things?

[Torqaholic]

Worse, many Americans who would otherwise work are turning to claiming disability. There is little hope that once granted, these individuals will leave the government safety net and return to the labor force, even when economic conditions do improve.

So much for my secret plan

I'm just waiting for the free health care to kick in so I don't have to pay for the diagnosis (or the free health care).

[BuckyThreadkiller]

Will -
You have a great command of facts and data but you are NOT a journalist. I'd suggest some basic courses on how to write for publication.

For instance -

February Retail Sales Show Modest Improvement Following Record Decline in January

As reported here last month, Retail and Food Service Sales declined by over $98 Billion between December 2011 and January 2012.

The drop from $459.8 Billion to $361.4 Billion was the largest single month decline in recorded Retail and Food Service Sales history. In percentage terms, Retail and Food Service Sales declined by 21.4% between December 2011 and January 2012.

The January estimate was later revised to $362.9 Billion.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau's raw data, Retail and Food Service Sales showed a modest improvement in February, climbing back to an estimated $379 Billion for the month: ...

I'll delete the charts as they aren't germane.

There are three basic elements to journalistic prose - the headline, the lead and the pyramid.

The Headline - Needs to tell the reader in a glance what the story is about - and hook them into reading it. In this case it's a good header - Oh, look the economy is headed in the right direction - I'll read the story and see if it's going to turn around.

The Lead - the first paragraph needs to cover the Five W's - who, what, when, where and how (how is not a w, but that's J-School speak). You have to capture the readers attention and provide the pertinent facts of the story - payoff the headline.
In the story above I thought you had written the wrong headline for the story because it isn't until the very last line of the story that we discover the actual numbers driving all those charts and graphs. In J-school speak - you buried the lead.

Which leads to the 3rd element of Journalism - the Pyramid - once you get past the lead your story should dive into the facts and do it from the most important to the least - that way if your reader wants to move on after graph 4, or you need to cut the article for length, you clip the bottom and move on.

So what are we to glean from your blog post? That sales went down after Christmas shopping was done? That the rebound in February was modest? OK what does that mean - is the economy coming back or not? I don't understand what ever point you are trying to make other than you've written about some stats. There's no comparison with past years to say if it is an improvement over the last five years or previous six months, is this a trend? a cycle? an abomination? Is it good bad or horrific? I can't tell.

One last thing. Facts and figures mean little to people unless you can show how they relate to their individual existence. Get yourself an iStock photo account and put some pictures in there that don't have lines and dots. A mom frowning at her cash register receipt can have more impact than stats in telling folks that prices are rising and people aren't spending money.

[Will]

Thanks for the advice.

Sorry I didn't check this thread earlier.

[Sea Six]

Originally Posted by BuckyThreadkiller

Will -
You have a great command of facts and data but you are NOT a journalist. I'd suggest some basic courses on how to write for publication.

For instance -




I'll delete the charts as they aren't germane.

There are three basic elements to journalistic prose - the headline, the lead and the pyramid.

The Headline - Needs to tell the reader in a glance what the story is about - and hook them into reading it. In this case it's a good header - Oh, look the economy is headed in the right direction - I'll read the story and see if it's going to turn around.

The Lead - the first paragraph needs to cover the Five W's - who, what, when, where and how (how is not a w, but that's J-School speak). You have to capture the readers attention and provide the pertinent facts of the story - payoff the headline.
In the story above I thought you had written the wrong headline for the story because it isn't until the very last line of the story that we discover the actual numbers driving all those charts and graphs. In J-school speak - you buried the lead.

Which leads to the 3rd element of Journalism - the Pyramid - once you get past the lead your story should dive into the facts and do it from the most important to the least - that way if your reader wants to move on after graph 4, or you need to cut the article for length, you clip the bottom and move on.

So what are we to glean from your blog post? That sales went down after Christmas shopping was done? That the rebound in February was modest? OK what does that mean - is the economy coming back or not? I don't understand what ever point you are trying to make other than you've written about some stats. There's no comparison with past years to say if it is an improvement over the last five years or previous six months, is this a trend? a cycle? an abomination? Is it good bad or horrific? I can't tell.

One last thing. Facts and figures mean little to people unless you can show how they relate to their individual existence. Get yourself an iStock photo account and put some pictures in there that don't have lines and dots. A mom frowning at her cash register receipt can have more impact than stats in telling folks that prices are rising and people aren't spending money.

Bucky,

I would like to say thank you for this useful post.

Posts like this are what the thanks button was designed for, IMHO.



And, for these valuable words of wisdom, I am just going to go ahead and give you the clap.

[mrvette]

Then there are guyz like me, continuing to tipe fyne englush on a daily basis.....