side yard

[tshirts and jeans]

this whole thread has totally blown my mind...... have thought about it quite a bit....

chuck a ---in your original post you asked for help and/or opinions?....but yet you continue to tell everyone that we don't understand...he is a good kid yada yada yada....... and that you have no say in the matter......it's all good..... (and i am sure that he is a good kid---no arguements there)

well i think most of us on here have raised some pretty damn awesome kids...i know i did.....and they did chores and learned things around the house.....no drugs ...no jail time....no run in with cops whatsoever.....good grades.....college grads..... ok so they have a smart mouth sometimes....

but i guess you are right......WE DON'T UNDERSTAND......but it is YOU that we don't understand....

you say he wants to be a vet......well then tell him to go do volunteer work at the local shelter......and you take your 15k (petty cash) and donate it to the local no kill shelter in your area....believe me they need it.....

or he can volunteer at the hospital....donate your money there for something in pediatrics.......it is needed as well......call drs and ask who needs help paying those pediatric nicu bills and help them out.....they will be forever grateful.....

or just donate it to a foster home....tell them to build a nice b-ball court for the kids there.....who knows one of those kids may go pro one day all because you gave a nice place to play and start their dreams of basketball superstars.......

[Chuck A]

Originally Posted by tshirts and jeans

this whole thread has totally blown my mind...... have thought about it quite a bit....

chuck a ---in your original post you asked for help and/or opinions?....but yet you continue to tell everyone that we don't understand...he is a good kid yada yada yada....... and that you have no say in the matter......it's all good..... (and i am sure that he is a good kid---no arguements there)

well i think most of us on here have raised some pretty damn awesome kids...i know i did.....and they did chores and learned things around the house.....no drugs ...no jail time....no run in with cops whatsoever.....good grades.....college grads..... ok so they have a smart mouth sometimes....

but i guess you are right......WE DON'T UNDERSTAND......but it is YOU that we don't understand....

you say he wants to be a vet......well then tell him to go do volunteer work at the local shelter......and you take your 15k (petty cash) and donate it to the local no kill shelter in your area....believe me they need it.....

or he can volunteer at the hospital....donate your money there for something in pediatrics.......it is needed as well......call drs and ask who needs help paying those pediatric nicu bills and help them out.....they will be forever grateful.....

or just donate it to a foster home....tell them to build a nice b-ball court for the kids there.....who knows one of those kids may go pro one day all because you gave a nice place to play and start their dreams of basketball superstars.......

he does volunteer and is a good kid, just not construction wise, smart as hell though.

[LilRedCorvette]

Originally Posted by C5Nate

My parents never hurt for money, but not rich by no means. We knew how to squeeze every penny from a dollar. We did all we could ourselves. Not only did it save us money doing it ourselves, I (we) learned a lot by doing it. Even later in life when we may not be able to do it ourselves we know how and what needs to be done and wont get ripped off.

There was NO refusing to do what was asked of me by my parents. The consequences were not pleasant. Learning early in life that there a consequences to my actions, (or lack of).

Life is hard, being soft will lessen chances of survival.

Ditto. We had age-appropriate chores growing up, which included dusting/vacuuming, making our beds, keeping our rooms clean, setting the table for dinner, doing the dishes, etc. You know what? Thank God we did, because then we learned how to live on our own as adults. I consider myself lucky for having what I have, and take care of whatever I have the best I can....because that sheit ain't free...

I see so many people out there who don't have the sense that God gave a lemon...I don't know how they get out of bed, tie their shoes, and survive daily life.

[Aerovette]

Originally Posted by Chuck A

he does volunteer and is a good kid, just not construction wise, smart as hell though.

It's not about the result, it's about the effort.

[Kerrmudgeon]

You could just bribe him to STFU about it. Ask him if he wants a car when he turns 16, or a basket ball court. Ask him if he wants to go to college, or a basketball court. Make him choose.

[Chuck A]

Originally Posted by Kerrmudgeon

You could just bribe him to STFU about it. Ask him if he wants a car when he turns 16, or a basket ball court. Ask him if he wants to go to college, or a basketball court. Make him choose.

yes we decided we are buying him the basketball hoop that gets put into the ground cemented

[Giraffe (He/Him)]

Originally Posted by Jeff '79

He's probably gay... Build a tennis court..

WTF Jeff.



Holy shit.

[Chuck A]

Originally Posted by Jeff '79

He's probably gay... Build a tennis court..

you sir are a richard cranium

[Giraffe (He/Him)]

i have no say in the matter

I'd roll with that for about 10 minutes. Then I'd build a fucking dog run out of the space just out of spite.

[Jeff '79]

WTF CHUCK??...... You had to know that I was totally kidding.
Well not totally...
My daughter was a slacker in house chores, but a great student. I really couldn't care as long as her grades were good and she had a job... She's doing very well in college right now, but let's just say she likes the shag better than the pole.
Your kid will be just fine as long as he keeps his nose in the books, works a job, and does a bit of service ,(volunteerism). There's absolutely nothing wrong with paying other people to do everything for you.. I wish that I could afford to have everything done for me, but I can't, and truthfully, I enjoy doing certain things for myself.
Peace man....

Buy a Slip & Slide and hook a hose up to it....

[CP]

Originally Posted by Chuck A

... what should i do? help please.....

Well, you should start by posting pics of said wife.

[Giraffe (He/Him)]

i have no say in the matter

This blows me away.

Oh yeah;

[Jeff '79]

snicker, snicker.....

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Originally Posted by Chuck A

dayum , you are a strict dude
very worried if you were my dad, indeed

Wtf are you talking about? That's not called strict. That's called parenting. So that you avoid this:

Originally Posted by Chuck A

just trying to get my sons to take out the trash is a ordeal as it is, i wonder if i told them to dig a hole they would cry murder

I'm with Cindy. The fact that you've both had medical problems is all the MORE reason for them to step up. And the fact that they DIDN'T feel an obligation to step up means that their lackadaisical attitude started long before the two of you had medical issues.

Time for some tough love or you're going to continue to play the part of the doormat. You need to demand respect back from the entire household, it would seem.

We all have our issues and our baggage. We've all been through our share of tough times. No one gets a pass in civility, consideration and respect for others, just because we've had some rough patches.

Sorry.

[Chuck A]

Originally Posted by Jeff '79

WTF CHUCK??...... You had to know that I was totally kidding.
Well not totally...
My daughter was a slacker in house chores, but a great student. I really couldn't care as long as her grades were good and she had a job... She's doing very well in college right now, but let's just say she likes the shag better than the pole.
Your kid will be just fine as long as he keeps his nose in the books, works a job, and does a bit of service ,(volunteerism). There's absolutely nothing wrong with paying other people to do everything for you.. I wish that I could afford to have everything done for me, but I can't, and truthfully, I enjoy doing certain things for myself.
Peace man....

Buy a Slip & Slide and hook a hose up to it....

i also was kidding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=5uGCSriDt5s

[Jeff '79]

Originally Posted by Chuck A

i also was kidding
I Was Kidding... I WAS ONLY KIDDING! - YouTube

I just wanted to say WTF Chuck too......

[Jeff '79]

Originally Posted by NEED-A-VETTE

Wtf are you talking about? That's not called strict. That's called parenting. So that you avoid this:



I'm with Cindy. The fact that you've both had medical problems is all the MORE reason for them to step up. And the fact that they DIDN'T feel an obligation to step up means that their lackadaisical attitude started long before the two of you had medical issues.

Time for some tough love or you're going to continue to play the part of the doormat. You need to demand respect back from the entire household, it would seem.

We all have our issues and our baggage. We've all been through our share of tough times. No one gets a pass in civility, consideration and respect for others, just because we've had some rough patches.

Sorry.

This is for an entirely different thread, but believe it or not, it's a coping mechanism for the kids. When they are that age, they have a ton of pressure on them such as school, puberty, friends, enemy's, etc... When the safety of the home is threatened, it kind of puts them in a different mode. A coping mode, and the behaviors that Chuck is describing manifest themselves.
When my MIL died, this happened with my two girls and they actually became mean to my wife ad myself. A little counseling "enlightened" us to what was happening with them and that nose dive was averted..
It'll pass and they'll be just fine, but realize right now that there is a ton of stress on them , with the added illnesses.

[GRN ENVY]

Originally Posted by Jeff '79

snicker, snicker.....

Originally Posted by Thomas

This blows me away.

Oh yeah;

Originally Posted by Thomas

WTF Jeff.



Holy shit.

Any of you care to play some tennis????

[Giraffe (He/Him)]

Any of you care to play some tennis????

I'd hand you your ass on a tennis court GRN.

[Giraffe (He/Him)]

PAGE 2 SEA!!!! Got it!!