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Old 08-01-2014, 8:48pm   #1
SnikPlosskin
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Default The password. A true war story.

Well kiddies, it's been a while since I regaled you with a story based on true events. In this one, I've changed the names to protect the innocent.


The Password.
The whistling sound gradually became louder as the three men dove behind a burned out husk of a city bus. Chip Holcomb landed hard as the shock wave from the exploding grenade met his back, forcing him to the ground.

“Shit. That one was close.” Holcomb wasn’t really talking to either of his comrades. There was a day when the sound of bullets whizzing overhead was somehow comforting to him. This was not one of those days.

He couldn’t have asked for a better fire team. Like him, John Ruiz and Russell McKnight were large framed men with square jaws, characteristic crew cuts and the piercing eyes of seasoned mercenaries. They served four tours in Afghanistan together in the United States Marines over the last decade so today’s action wasn’t exactly new.

McKnight brushed off the debris from the near miss and turned to Ruiz. “I’m getting tired of this shit. And we don’t have much time left. Can you see anything?”

Ruiz peered through the torn metal of the bus. “They are on the move - we need to go.” Holcomb raised his M16 and fired a burst of cover as the three men scrambled into a nearby building.

The men had accepted numerous private security gigs over the last years, and most were uneventful. Over the last week, this assignment transformed from just another gig to a life and death struggle to avoid a nuclear catastrophe.

Ali Abulla Mohammed had reached a level of notoriety among Al-Qaeda cells that was unparalleled in the Middle East. He was backed by Saudi oil money and managed to secure a sizable dirty bomb. Holcomb, Ruiz and McKnight were brought in to stop the maniacal terror group from detonating the bomb over the west coast but now the operation was spiraling out of control.

Holcomb carefully peered out of a broken window. “They are swarming. We might be here a while.” Ruiz inserted a fresh magazine in his M16 and turned to McKnight and said “Great. Stuck here all night with you faggots. Just what I need.”

“I wouldn’t screw you with Holcomb’s dick.”
“Leave my dick out of this”
“You know you want it.”
“That’s what your mother said last night.”

This sort of banter was typical for the team. It allowed them to let off steam and bring some off-color levity to the dire situation. The men knew each other well, to the point that the most important communication was automatic. At times like this, there were no secrets and no posing. They were of one mind.

Holcomb took control and brought the men back to the immediate problem. “We have less than 10 minutes to change this situation or a lot of people are going to die. We need a new plan.”

Ruiz adjusted his body armor and looked worried. “What are we supposed to do? The bomb is miles away, these assholes have us pinned down and we are running low on ammo. I’m up for suggestions.”

“If we could get on-line, we might be able to scramble the signal that is controlling the bomb. McKnight, what can you do?”

McKnight was the epitome of the image of a Marine. He was tough, physically fit and six foot, four inches tall. What set him apart was his extensive knowledge of computer networks. He reached into his ruck sack and pulled out a battered laptop. “I’m not sure if this thing is working anymore…”

As he spoke the words, a stray round from the enemy’s AK47s ricocheted off the window frame and ripped through his right hand. He dropped the laptop and instinctively grabbed his wounded hand with his other hand. “Oh shit! I’m hit. God dammit!” Blood streamed from his hand as Ruiz dug through his medical kit.

In a matter of seconds, Ruiz was on top of McKnight working on stemming the bleeding.

Holcomb was worried. He picked up the laptop, opened the top and pushed the power button. The laptop’s screen lit up. “This thing works. Are you gonna be able to do your thing?” He wasn’t unsympathetic. But time was running out.

McKnight was afraid to look at the damage. He held his hand up and the sight sickened him. The bullet had blown off three of his fingers from his right hand. “I’m not feeling very good.”

Ruiz looked up and his expression told Holcomb everything he needed to know. McKnight wasn’t going to be of much help.

“Maybe you can walk us through this. We need to get connected to the sat phone and get on line. What’s your password to log-in?”

The color drained from McKnight’s face. “I….uh….I can’t tell you that….” he stuttered.

“You’re a funny guy. Seriously, we need your password.” Holcomb was not amused.

“No way I can give you the password. It’s complicated.…”

Holcomb looked at Ruiz with pleading eyes. “I don’t give a shit how complicated it is. Maybe you aren’t really understanding the situation we are in here. We are failing in our mission. In less than 4 minutes, the biggest terror attack in American history will wipe out half of San Francisco. I’m not even sure if this will work, but we need to try”.

As he finished his sentence, another round of bullets rattled the building. Ruiz returned fire and reported that the enemy was closing in on their position. “It’s now or never people.”

McKnight looked like he was going to throw up. His hand was throbbing and he was losing blood quickly.

Holcomb continued. “I think we can breach the cellular network and divert the signal controlling the device. I don’t give a shit if you got your balls blown off. Give up the password or I’ll cut them off myself.”

McKnight’s eyes grew big and he looked at the ground. “The password is ‘I love dick’ “

“Is that with caps or all lowercase….wait. What did you say?”

Ruiz started moving away from McKnight.

“It’s ‘I love dick’ all lowercase and no spaces.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” He put the laptop down and sat down hard. “You love dick? What the hell does that mean?”

Ruiz was moving towards Holcomb “I think he is saying…uh…he….uh…enjoys the company of men.”

“Well, hell, we all do. I still don't follow....” Holcomb was struggling to get his brain around this new found knowledge of his brother in arms.

“No, he is saying that he is fruity. Gay. Light in the loafers. He is a rump ranger. A queer.”

Suddenly the sounds of the battle seemed to disappear. The awkward silence of the three battle hardened men cut through the noise like a bayonet. Ruiz spoke first.

“I don’t think I can work with him. **** the bomb. I say we surrender now.”

Holcomb stared at the ceiling. “I…don’t…know…This is seriously ****ed up. McKnight, is this true?”

“I don’t really want to discuss it right now. Can’t we just get this op done and deal with this later?”

“Not if you are gay. I can’t believe I’ve shared a shower with you.”

“Holy shit. I knew he was looking at my junk.”

McKnight was mortified. “OK. I looked. We’ve got two minutes left. Can we get beyond this for now?”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? What else would you like? Maybe we could just snuggle here the rest of the night. Maybe we could just sit around and diddle each other…”

“Uh, Holcomb, I think you caught it.” Ruiz was worried.

“Wait. You can catch it? Oh no! I thought that only happened in Africa..”

“No way. Now I’m gay. How did this happen?!” Holcomb was panicking.

To be continued….
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Old 08-02-2014, 12:36am   #2
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You know, I would like to comment, just don't really have the words right now.
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Old 08-02-2014, 12:41am   #3
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Da FUK 'dI just read?
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Old 08-02-2014, 2:24am   #4
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Da FUK 'dI just read?

I dunno... but bet Red wants to read the whole book...
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Old 08-02-2014, 2:49am   #5
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Old 08-02-2014, 7:21am   #6
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Old 08-02-2014, 8:20am   #7
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Old 08-02-2014, 5:22pm   #8
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Jesse Ventura has a process server out looking for you right now, Snake.
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Old 08-03-2014, 8:55am   #9
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Yeah America's in danger but we're gonna sort this homo thing out RIGHT NOW!
Finally someone gets it. I thought it was a funny premise to take these Hollywood memes (macho men, time is running out, save the world) and flip it.

I will write an ending but headed out to music fest today. Also picked up another gig Tuesday with some of the bands here to sit in.

Gonna be tired when I get home.

Did you notice the threatened city is San Francisco?
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Old 08-04-2014, 8:00am   #10
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Didn't catch the San Fran reference but OMG that's awesome!

So the city is going to go up in flames?
Too late.
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Old 08-04-2014, 11:22am   #11
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Wait, so now I'm confused. Is this an autobiography or isn't it?
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Old 08-04-2014, 11:23am   #12
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Wait, so now I'm confused. Is this an autobiography or isn't it?
Can you guess which guy Snake is ?
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Old 08-04-2014, 1:19pm   #13
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Quote:
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Holcomb = Snake

Ruiz = OmegaMan

ButtPirate = txFag
fixed
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Old 08-04-2014, 5:28pm   #14
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I've been hanging with the parents and haven't had a moment of pleasure or creativity. I will write the ending. It will blow your mind.

Perhaps after I devour the rack of ribs I made tonight to offset the horrible food I've been subjected to for the last week.

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Old 08-04-2014, 8:09pm   #15
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Holcomb paced back and forth as ordinance exploded around them. Beads of sweat streamed from his forehead.

"Ruiz, we need a confab now." Ruiz walked to Holcomb who kept his voice low so McKnight wouldn't hear.

"I'm having feelings I can't explain. I'm compromised. I don't see how....we can't....God, I wish I had a Frappuccino right now."

"My watch says we've only got two minutes before that device engages. We need to think..." Ruiz was becoming agitated. He stroked the heat shield on his M16 absentmindedly.

A bullet whizzed just over Holcomb's shoulder and shattered the concrete on the wall behind him. This went unnoticed by Holcomb as he attempted to reconcile his feelings with his duty.

"I noticed McKnight way back in boot camp. I mean, he was a good looking man but I never thought this would happen. How can I be gay? What will my wife say?"

"Can I speak freely sir?" Even though the men were contractors, the protocol of the military persisted.

"Of course, Ruiz." Holcomb replied.

"I need to tell you something but I don't want to complicate the situation. I mean, it's complicated enough as it is. But I need to tell you...I....I think I love you."

"Jesus Christ! Now you've caught it too!" Holcomb recoiled in horror. "We've got it...we caught it from McKnight. I had no idea it was so contagious...I'm making a judgement call here. This battle is over. I can't, in good conscious, defend San Francisco."

"I see." Ruiz moved in closer to Holcomb. He tentatively leaned in. They embraced. He gazed deep into his commander's eyes and said "This contagion is just too dangerous. We need to let the device destroy San Francisco to protect the rest of the nation from this terrible disease. Not that there's anything wrong with it."

Holcomb caressed Ruiz's hair and laid his head on his comrade's shoulder. "We've got thirty seconds. Hold me."

From across the room, McKnight watched in amazement and blurted "You idiots, you can't catch it. It's not a contagion. It's a lifestyle choice! We need to complete this mission...there's no time..."

Ruiz looked deeply into Holcomb's eyes. "He's just trying to protect his boyfriends in the city. I don't blame him. But I can't let it happen." Ruiz turned and pointed his M16 at McKnight.

Holcomb interjected. "We aren't going out like that. Lower your weapon!"

As Ruiz complied, an explosion rocked the building. The device exploded in a brilliant flash of blinding light above their heads. Radiation rained down on San Francisco, the men, the enemy and the Gay Rights Parade.

As the ash settled, the bodies of the three men lay together on the ground. They stirred as they felt the burn of the radio active ash on their skin.

Holcomb was the first to speak. "You know, I just thought about Jennifer Aniston's nipples and...it moved."

"Wait, now I'm thinking about her nipples. Does this mean...?"

"Holy shit. We aren't gay. We're bi."

"Wait, doesn't that mean we'll just fu!K anything?"

"I suppose so."

"Hell, that doesn't make us gay. That makes us Marines."

"Hoo rah"

"That sounds sort of gay."

"f!ck you and your mother"

"I already did and she screamed your name."

"That doesn't even make any sense."

"Let's never speak of this again."

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Old 08-04-2014, 9:55pm   #16
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Old 08-04-2014, 10:36pm   #17
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Ummm Pete???

If I told you that you were one sick twisted demented person....



























Spence would get jealous....
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Old 08-04-2014, 10:38pm   #18
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Quote:
Holcomb was the first to speak. "You know, I just thought about Jennifer Aniston's nipples and...it moved."

"Wait, now I'm thinking about her nipples. Does this mean...?"

"Holy shit. We aren't gay. We're bi."

"Wait, doesn't that mean we'll just fu!K anything?"

"I suppose so."
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