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Old 08-05-2022, 10:16am   #141
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from the Bible:

Gen 37:34 - "And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days."

Gen 50:3 - "...and the Egyptians mourned for him threescore and ten days."

Num 20:29 - "And when all the congregation saw that Aaron was dead, they mourned for Aaron thirty days, even all the house of Israel."

2Sam 1:12 - "And they mourned, and wept, and fasted until even, for Saul, and for Jonathan his son, and for the people of the LORD, and for the house of Israel; because they were fallen by the sword."

2Sam 11:26 - "And when the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she mourned for her husband."

2Sam 13:37 - "But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day."

1Chr 7:22 - "And Ephraim their father mourned many days, and his brethren came to comfort him."

Mark 16:10 - "And she went and told them that had been with him, as they mourned and wept."

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Old 08-05-2022, 10:38am   #142
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every day is a little better without Linda. have some family in town until tomorrow, have really enjoyed visiting with them and just talking about family stories. stories about Linda, about her sister and BIL, about my sister....just talking and listening. a little crying, a lot of laughter. it's good.

and of course, i have this collection of broken toys that i enjoy playing with from time to time. had a good chat with Rob yesterday, heart to heart, he might have caught some pollen from the phone. but big boys don't cry...real men do when they suffer a loss though. we cry because we cared.

so thank you to everyone who replied in her threads, who dropped me a PM. your kind words and friendship truly touched my heart.

as the Rabbi would tell you: son, you can't sit Shiva forever, you must go on and finish the work that God has given you to do.

I may have enjoyed that call more than you my friend. If you ever feel inclined to hop in the car for a long drive, because I remember you dont like flying, my door is always open. I will even take you to my favorite hot chicken joints.
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Old 08-05-2022, 10:52am   #143
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I may have enjoyed that call more than you my friend. If you ever feel inclined to hop in the car for a long drive, because I remember you dont like flying, my door is always open. I will even take you to my favorite hot chicken joints.
i kinda like staying home.....but we do have a 2br/1ba guesthouse. no valet parking, but you can park anywhere you wish. might turn the heat and water on, might even feed you if you aren't too picky.

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Old 08-05-2022, 3:50pm   #144
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I'm so sorry
Godspeed and God bless Linda.
I can't begin to imagine how you feel, and I pray I never do.
Take care if yasself....
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Old 08-05-2022, 4:57pm   #145
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I'm so sorry
Godspeed and God bless Linda.
I can't begin to imagine how you feel, and I pray I never do.
Take care if yasself....
Thanks brother
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Old 08-06-2022, 7:41am   #146
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So I had some quiet time yesterday afternoon, and decided to go thru my email inbox a bit. Oh! An email from Beretta, with a discount code if you take a short survey. Ok. Answer the questions about a recent purchase, then the last questions seek to understand your demographics. And I get to the question on my status: single, married, living together, widowedÖ.

I always loved checking the boxes that said Married. I loved being married.

And now I get to check the box that says Widowed.

That just struck me a little harder than expected.

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Old 08-06-2022, 9:39am   #147
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Understood
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Old 08-06-2022, 3:09pm   #148
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Iím so sorry.
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Old 08-06-2022, 3:15pm   #149
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decided i needed to get out of the house this morning, so i went to the pistol match. hour or so drive each way, plenty of time to listen to a sermon each way.

found my friend Dan, who knew about Linda's fight with cancer. told him the sad news. Dan is about my size (and Datafiz's), i got the biggest BEAR hug you could imagine.

it was good to get out among friends and do something enjoyable. finished 6/14, about where i expected. shooting my carry gun out of my carry holster, with some cheap 115gr PMC ammo. it goes bang.

i missed calling Linda after the match was over and telling her how i did....no one to talk to....
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Old 08-06-2022, 5:13pm   #150
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Itís all the little thingsÖ.
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Old 08-07-2022, 5:53am   #151
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My sincerest condolences Doug
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Old 08-07-2022, 6:13am   #152
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Doug,
I just got back on the computer after trying to get settled into the new house. I am so sorry for your loss. When my wife and I were married, the justice of the peace did the ceremony. It was the most touching sermon I've ever heard in my life. He spoke of how the Indians envisioned the wedding ring as the circle of life and how our two souls were joined in that ring. My friend who was taking the video messed up and didn't record it, I wish he would have.
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Old 08-07-2022, 7:36am   #153
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if you're bored with this thread, that's fine, read something else.

little story time:

we both had our "special money" stashes. money we'd get from birthday gifts, selling a piece i made in the shop, reimbursements from sending munchies to my parents (linda would bake some yummies, dad and mom would enjoy them, and then they'd send a little thank you to cover shipping and ingredients to her - wait a minute...those were OUR ingredients.....), random, unexpected checks from the gov't.

and we'd spend this money on our fun activities. me: guns and ammo. her: garden related stuff (plants, sculptures....). and we both kept that money in cash in various places.

this was money you could spend without consulting the other before hand. and these stashes could get over 1000 some times.

well, i went thru her purse, combined her cash with mine, found her "special money stash", and combined it all. nice chunk of change for something special for me someday. don't know what, but i'm ready when i see it.

end of story.

If someone is bored with the thread, **** em. Keep sharing Doug. We are all in this with you.
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Old 08-07-2022, 7:44am   #154
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Doug,
I just got back on the computer after trying to get settled into the new house. I am so sorry for your loss. When my wife and I were married, the justice of the peace did the ceremony. It was the most touching sermon I've ever heard in my life. He spoke of how the Indians envisioned the wedding ring as the circle of life and how our two souls were joined in that ring. My friend who was taking the video messed up and didn't record it, I wish he would have.
Wednesday the 26th, she needed a fairly invasive procedure to drain fluid from around one lung and her heart. Estimated to be 4 hours. So all the docs and nurses and other folks gather around her bed, Iím still standing nearby to reassure her. Iím looking at her, not them. And a hand reached out towards me, ď here sirĒ. He had taken off her wedding ring and handed it to me. A rather standard thing.

I held it tight and added it to a gold necklace I wear. I told her after the operation that Iíd put it back on her when she got out of the ICU.

It has never left my neck. And my wedding ring (they were a matched set from Tiffany) is still on my finger.

I may remove it someday.

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Old 08-07-2022, 8:16am   #155
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I notice that Iíve been calling it a day earlier, crashing around 9:30 on average, sleeping well most nights, and waking up around 5:30.

Trying to eat right, Oreos are almost gone, but the grapes are still safe in the fridge

Itís just good to be able to write about things here.

Thank you.
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Old 08-07-2022, 8:44am   #156
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I notice that Iíve been calling it a day earlier, crashing around 9:30 on average, sleeping well most nights, and waking up around 5:30.

Trying to eat right, Oreos are almost gone, but the grapes are still safe in the fridge

Itís just good to be able to write about things here.

Thank you.
Going to bed at 9:30, and getting up at 5:30 is pretty much SOP for me. Noting wrong with that IMO.
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Old 08-07-2022, 9:35am   #157
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previously, it was more like 10:30-6:30, Linda liked to watch the 10 oclock local weather guess.

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Old 08-07-2022, 9:46am   #158
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just took an hour long morning walk, first time i've done that in many weeks. gets my steps in, maybe work off a few Oreos

and i'm thinking as a I walk along, i now better understand my Dad's deep grief in late 2020 when mom passed away.

and then i thought about the book of Job.

for those who know it, this is a quick recap, for those who don't, you might gain something from reading later.

Satan tells God that Job is only faithful to God because God has blessed him so abundantly. Satan says, stop blessing him and he'll curse God.

God says, ok, you may afflict him however you wish, but you cannot injure him directly.

Satan does. and he destroys all Job's wealth, and then he kills off Job's family.

and still, Job does not curse God.

So Satan returns, and says, yeah, but let me afflict his body and we'll see what happens.

God replies, fine, but you may not kill him.

And Job suffers many afflictions.

and then for many chapters, his three idiot friends try to tell him that the reason he's suffering is that he has hidden sin.

Finally, Job learns that God does whatever He wishes, he never curses God, and in the end, Job gets another family, gets back 2x his wealth, and dies a very old man.

So, we may not always understand the plan of God day to day, but we know that He will never leave us nor forsake us, we just need to trust that we're in his care until the end.

end of mini-sermon.

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Old 08-07-2022, 2:09pm   #159
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Just going thru some pictures from the last 2 weeks, came across this. I spent many, many hours doing some version of this until the end.
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OMzaLbTlTp6f2P+d4D%bPg.jpg  

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Old 08-07-2022, 3:08pm   #160
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i think i posted this in another thread, but this hymn really gave me some solace in the last days.

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