Goodbye Linda.

[DAB]

Originally Posted by Olustee bus

Hope this provides some perspective.

That was a good way to start a day.

Thank you.

[slewfoot]

My mother passed back in 2014 up in New Hampshire. She had a hell of a sense of humor. She wanted to be cremated and she was. She didn't want a funeral and the normal done. Most of us had gone back within a few weeks of her passing and was a good time.

So, when she passed on, we all live all over the country. My sister took care of it and kept mom until we came up with something nice.

A couple years later in 2016 we got together again and came up with a nice place in the Mount Washington Valley called Cathedral Ledge. You can drive up on top as a nice scenic view plus a hot spot for climbers. We all agreed this is perfect.

Once on the top, there is a small chain link fence by the edge. I took the urn, went over the fence and went near the edge, waited for the right wind direction and let her go!

I walked back up and we're all standing around tears flowing, and my aunt said, "I wonder if she landed on any of those climbers" I hadn't even though of it until she brought it up.

I could picture some climbers down below getting hit with it all, cussing and screaming. If this had been someone else and my mom was with us, she would have been laughing her ass off.

[aerovette]

.

[DAB]

Originally Posted by aerovette

.

well put.

if i cry, it's because I loved her and now i miss her.

every time i'd go out the house to run some dumb errand, the last thing i'd say as I closed the door was "I love you".

so if i didn't return, it would have been the last thing I said to her.

every time she was somewhat a wake and could hear me and see me, the first thing i told her was "I love you", and then asked her if she hurt. if yes, call the nurse and get some pain meds. she was to be kept comfy, not in pain. they did.

[erickpl]

Originally Posted by DAB

Unintended consequences for $200 Alex:

One of you dear knuckleheads sent me a PM with the following note:

“Sir, I know we have not communicated much but I wanted to send my sincere condolences about your wife's passing and just let you know how much your posts have meant to me, They have made me appreciate my wife more with every story you told over the past few months about her. Thanks for than and I hope you find peace in these difficult times.”

Wow.

I don’t tell others how to live their lives. I tell you how I live mine, why, and what the results are. But if have a different idea, go for it.

This really touched me late today.

Something I said/wrote had a positive impact on someone. Amazing. And they told me about it. Incredible.

Thank you.

Your words and deeds have the power to do positive things, and they can do negative things. We see the negative results of what people say and do every day. The positive things are rare, but they do happen.

Your posts about your wife, your hobbies, and how you get along touch all of us in ways not all of us feel comfortable sharing, but I can say that you seem to have things figured out in how your relationship with Linda worked. Your sister saw it too.

Oftentimes we're impacted by that positive and don't say anything because we don't realize how deeply it affected us - it was just to the core and not even a conscious acknowledgement of how it affects us. The one that sent you that message realized the impact you had and wanted to let you know.

That's why we always say, "Tell the ones you love and care about what you feel. You never know if it'll be the last time you talk to them."

DAB, you make a difference in a lot of lives, even if you (and they) don't realize it!

[Rodnok1]

Well said erickpl...

[DAB]

It’s damn tough to type “thank you” when you can’t see the screen thru your tears.

Time to find a cake. Today was her birthday.

Originally Posted by erickpl

Your words and deeds have the power to do positive things, and they can do negative things. We see the negative results of what people say and do every day. The positive things are rare, but they do happen.

Your posts about your wife, your hobbies, and how you get along touch all of us in ways not all of us feel comfortable sharing, but I can say that you seem to have things figured out in how your relationship with Linda worked. Your sister saw it too.

Oftentimes we're impacted by that positive and don't say anything because we don't realize how deeply it affected us - it was just to the core and not even a conscious acknowledgement of how it affects us. The one that sent you that message realized the impact you had and wanted to let you know.

That's why we always say, "Tell the ones you love and care about what you feel. You never know if it'll be the last time you talk to them."

DAB, you make a difference in a lot of lives, even if you (and they) don't realize it!

[aerovette]

Originally Posted by DAB

It’s damn tough to type “thank you” when you can’t see the screen thru your tears.

Time to find a cake. Today was her birthday.

Celebrate it with her in your heart. You know she's there.

My dad's would have been next week and we are going to do the same.

It will be tough, but the message on that white board to you, said it all. Carry on, keep living, do what she would do.

[SnikPlosskin]

What a blessing to be there for her. I cannot imagine what you must be going through. Know it’s ok to grieve. It may take a while.

I hear they decorate for Christmas year ‘round up there. And you get all your dogs back. She’s in a good place.

[Don Rickles]

Originally Posted by DAB

It’s damn tough to type “thank you” when you can’t see the screen thru your tears.

Time to find a cake. Today was her birthday.

My belief,

"Your birthday commemorates the day on which God said to you: “You, as an individual, are unique and irreplaceable. No person alive, no person who has ever lived, and no person who shall ever live, can fulfill the specific role in My creation I have entrusted to you ...

A relative said that in Judaism it is considered a particular blessing to die on one’s birthday. Is that correct?

Answer:

That is indeed the case. The Talmud teaches that Moses passed away on the 7th day of the Jewish month of Adar, which was his 120th birthday. The Talmud explains that God calculates and completes the lifespan a righteous person, as we read in Exodus (23:21), “I will complete the number of your days.”

Why is this significant?

The Chassidic masters explain that on the day we are born we are entrusted with a mission. The righteous person lives his life achieving his fullest potential and completes his mission on earth in the most perfect way possible. This perfection is expressed in the fact that his mission ends on the very same day that it was begun."

Close enough, for Linda!

[DAB]

Her dad was an engineer for NASA for many years, and made great contributions to that work in the 50s, 60, and early 70s.

If you told her "close enough for gov't work", she would have laughed loudly.

or as her mom put it (got to know her mom after we were married), "honey, if you can't see the error from a moving horse, call it good".

wise women in my life.

Originally Posted by Don Rickles

My belief,

"Your birthday commemorates the day on which God said to you: “You, as an individual, are unique and irreplaceable. No person alive, no person who has ever lived, and no person who shall ever live, can fulfill the specific role in My creation I have entrusted to you ...

A relative said that in Judaism it is considered a particular blessing to die on one’s birthday. Is that correct?

Answer:

That is indeed the case. The Talmud teaches that Moses passed away on the 7th day of the Jewish month of Adar, which was his 120th birthday. The Talmud explains that God calculates and completes the lifespan a righteous person, as we read in Exodus (23:21), “I will complete the number of your days.”1

Why is this significant?

The Chassidic masters explain that on the day we are born we are entrusted with a mission. The righteous person lives his life achieving his fullest potential and completes his mission on earth in the most perfect way possible. This perfection is expressed in the fact that his mission ends on the very same day that it was begun."

Close enough, for Linda!

[DAB]

just ran into a neighbor as i'm driving home (she was out for a walk). she had met Linda many times over the last year or so, as she also had been diagnosed with cancer. Linda had bought a bunch of head coverings, thinking she might lose her hair. then we find out that her chemo would not have that side effect, but the neighbor's treatment would. boom....here, have some stylish head coverings, no charge.

as i pull to say HI, she asks "how's Linda doing"

Linda passed away 2 days ago.

you could see her heart sink from the news.

so we had a good, long chat, parked in the middle of the road (people could get around), and as i drive her back to her house (1/4 mile), the last thing she tells me was so touching:

she wanted to tell Linda, but will now tell me - Linda's fight and determination to beat this gave her the courage to approach the fight the same way. you have up days and down days, but i'm going to win, dammit!

her cancer is in remission, she looks good, face is normal looking (not all swelled up from the chemo), and her hair is growing back.

so even Linda's ferocity impacted others....

fight the good fight, don't let the bastards win.

[Rob]

Six years ago today, was the last day I held my Dad's hand.

Cancer...

He was my best friend.


But now, I keep reading your comments and replies and I could not even think about the fact of what you may be going through Doug, I am still at a loss for words. I often remind myself that God gave us this time because He loved us and it is our job to share that gift with others - both directly and indirectly. My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you and you have my number if you ever need someone to talk with.

[DAB]

a little Biblical advice on choosing a wife:

(and if you already have one, you can compare your choice to this advice, perhaps you chose wisely...)

Proverbs 31:10-31 -

10 ¶ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.



There's your checklist from God. if it's not on that list, it doesn't matter.

I'm pretty sure Linda checked almost every box.

[DAB]

if i had to, i could preach an hour sermon on this.....

Originally Posted by DAB

a little Biblical advice on choosing a wife:

(and if you already have one, you can compare your choice to this advice, perhaps you chose wisely...)

Proverbs 31:10-31 -

10 ¶ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.



There's your checklist from God. if it's not on that list, it doesn't matter.

I'm pretty sure Linda checked almost every box.

[DAB]

if you're bored with this thread, that's fine, read something else.

little story time:

we both had our "special money" stashes. money we'd get from birthday gifts, selling a piece i made in the shop, reimbursements from sending munchies to my parents (linda would bake some yummies, dad and mom would enjoy them, and then they'd send a little thank you to cover shipping and ingredients to her - wait a minute...those were OUR ingredients.....), random, unexpected checks from the gov't.

and we'd spend this money on our fun activities. me: guns and ammo. her: garden related stuff (plants, sculptures....). and we both kept that money in cash in various places.

this was money you could spend without consulting the other before hand. and these stashes could get over 1000 some times.

well, i went thru her purse, combined her cash with mine, found her "special money stash", and combined it all. nice chunk of change for something special for me someday. don't know what, but i'm ready when i see it.

end of story.

[Strats-N-Vettes]

Proverbs is good reading.

[DAB]

so i get an email from the post office everyday, showing me what is in the mail. also lists any packages coming.

yesterday, it shows a package on the way.

odd, i haven't ordered anything lately. and no one told me to look for a box.

so i check the tracking number today, shows delivered yesterday on my front porch.

no box. no box anywhere. i have no idea who was sending it, no idea what it was, and no idea where it is now.

oh well.

[DAB]

Random video on my feed this morning. You might have allergies at the end.

YouTube

[DAB]

every day is a little better without Linda. have some family in town until tomorrow, have really enjoyed visiting with them and just talking about family stories. stories about Linda, about her sister and BIL, about my sister....just talking and listening. a little crying, a lot of laughter. it's good.

and of course, i have this collection of broken toys that i enjoy playing with from time to time. had a good chat with Rob yesterday, heart to heart, he might have caught some pollen from the phone. but big boys don't cry...real men do when they suffer a loss though. we cry because we cared.

so thank you to everyone who replied in her threads, who dropped me a PM. your kind words and friendship truly touched my heart.

as the Rabbi would tell you: son, you can't sit Shiva forever, you must go on and finish the work that God has given you to do.