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Old 06-28-2022, 8:44am   #1
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Default The Dirty Joke Thread

Post'em up. the dirtier, the better. Don't hold back. Adog won't start, but i will...


Q: why is your penis like a Rubic's Cube?
A: The longer you play with it, the harder it gets
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Old 06-28-2022, 8:55am   #2
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ya want dirty? I'll give ya dirty!


The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged And dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.


The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. "It's a blonde, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"
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Old 06-28-2022, 5:12pm   #3
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Blind guy going "down" on his wife.
He says, "you're awfully dry tonight honey!"
She replies "you're licking the rug!"
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Old 06-28-2022, 7:05pm   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slewfoot View Post
Blind guy going "down" on his wife.
He says, "you're awfully dry tonight honey!"
She replies "you're licking the rug!"
at least he got some carpet.....
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Old 06-28-2022, 8:39pm   #5
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Told by a girl on the morning radio show years back

Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?

Why?

Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich
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Old 06-28-2022, 10:24pm   #6
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A boy was eating out his grandmother and tasted horse cum. He thought to himself, "I wonder if that's how she died?"
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Old 06-28-2022, 10:28pm   #7
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Old 06-28-2022, 10:50pm   #8
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Post 6 USED TO BE the worst joke I knew...it has been replaced.
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Old 06-28-2022, 11:17pm   #9
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What’s the definition of “a woman”?




A life-support system for a ****.
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Old 06-29-2022, 5:42am   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aerovette View Post
Post 6 USED TO BE the worst joke I knew...it has been replaced.
with what?
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Old 06-29-2022, 8:34am   #11
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with what?
It might be too much to post. I guess I can delete it is if it is too far over the line.
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Old 06-29-2022, 8:38am   #12
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A wife walked in on her husband ****ing their daughter and she was angry and disgusted. He wasn't sure if it was because he had his dick in their daughter, or because the clinic let him have the fetus.
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Old 06-29-2022, 8:39am   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aerovette View Post
It might be too much to post. I guess I can delete it is if it is too far over the line.
Post it.


A man and a small girl are walking in the woods and it's pitch black out. the little girl says, "Hey Mr. I'm scared."

He said, "Why are you scared? I'm the one who has to walk back alone."
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Old 06-29-2022, 8:43am   #14
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Two Libs are walking in an alley when one of them picks up a used condom.
The other Lib says:
"hey, save me a drag off of that!"
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Old 06-29-2022, 8:59am   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Strats-N-Vettes View Post
Two Libs are walking in an alley when one of them picks up a used condom.
The other Lib says:
"hey, save me a drag off of that!"
Two libs are walking down the street and see a dog licking it's own balls. One says (with a lisssp), "I ssssssure would like to be able to do that."

The other relies, "Well, gee, manly, ssssshhhhhouldn't you try petting him firrrsssst?"
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Old 06-29-2022, 9:19am   #16
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This one parish had a very decent but not too wordley of a priest. If you gave him a sob story he would try to help you out by giving money. A man came in and said he needed a blow job bad but had no money. The priest not knowing what a blow job was gave him the $25 he said he needed.

It bothered the priest so he decided he would go see mother superior as she was very smart and quite wordely. He then asked her whats a blow job. She replied $25 and up!
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Old 06-29-2022, 11:23am   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ_Critterus View Post
Two libs are walking down the street and see a dog licking it's own balls. One says (with a lisssp), "I ssssssure would like to be able to do that."

The other relies, "Well, gee, manly, ssssshhhhhouldn't you try petting him firrrsssst?"
Jeff '79 and Lakota?
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Old 06-29-2022, 2:42pm   #18
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Did you hear about the blind guy who walked past the fish market and said, “Good afternoon ladies!”
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Old 06-29-2022, 2:44pm   #19
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Why is a hooker like butter?

They both spread for bread.
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Old 06-29-2022, 3:30pm   #20
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Old one.
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