Top 8 Porters (idiots) of the year....

[MadInNc]

1. *AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. *THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. *DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'

6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo...!!!)

8. *THE GRAND FINALE! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

*Now remember, these are all true (maybe not) stories and these people vote and most have children!*

[The_Dude]

[Hardluck]

Originally Posted by MadInNc

1. *AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. *THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. *DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'

6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo...!!!)

8. *THE GRAND FINALE! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

*Now remember, these are all true (maybe not) stories and these people vote and most have children!*

[snide]

I think Porter needs a Snickers.

[Rikki Z-06]

Originally Posted by snide

I think Porter needs a Snickers.

[Hardluck]

Originally Posted by snide

I think Porter needs a Snickers.

Originally Posted by Rikki Z-06

[Mick]

Originally Posted by MadInNc

8. *THE GRAND FINALE! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

The reason I don't believe this story is that it is not believable. If the boat was still on the trailer, you would be able to see the strap holding the stern down. If the strap had been removed, the rear of the trailer would sink, and you would see the tongue sticking out of the water.

[MadInNc]

Originally Posted by Mick

The reason I don't believe this story is that it is not believable. If the boat was still on the trailer, you would be able to see the strap holding the stern down. If the strap had been removed, the rear of the trailer would sink, and you would see the tongue sticking out of the water.

Mick, your wrong again.

Here’s a video of a guy purposely doing just that in Canada...


Why “ There are lots of properties along the lake that have no road access. You still need to get your boat in and out of the water and the lake level fluctuates so much here a boat lift is seldom used. This is how you get you trailer to the property with out paying the barge operator.”

Boat Drags Trailer Along for the Ride || ViralHog - YouTube

[Mick]

Originally Posted by MadInNc

Mick, your wrong again.

Here’s a video of a guy purposely doing just that in Canada...


Why “ There are lots of properties along the lake that have no road access. You still need to get your boat in and out of the water and the lake level fluctuates so much here a boat lift is seldom used. This is how you get you trailer to the property with out paying the barge operator.”

Boat Drags Trailer Along for the Ride || ViralHog - YouTube

No, that proves I'm right. I can see the trailer in the video, which was exactly my point. No one would have to dive under the water to see that the boat was still on the trailer.

BTW: I have heard this story many times over the years, usually attributed to a woman boater. It doesn't make any more sense now than it did a decade ago.

[Mike Mercury]

[Raazor]

Originally Posted by Mick

The reason I don't believe this story is that it is not believable. If the boat was still on the trailer, you would be able to see the strap holding the stern down. If the strap had been removed, the rear of the trailer would sink, and you would see the tongue sticking out of the water.

stfu n0oB

[Raazor]

Originally Posted by Mike Mercury

[VITE1]

In the old days being stupid was ,more often than not, fatal. Now its a lifestyle that we subsidize. From the boardroom to the bedroom we stopped making stupid hurt.

[Mick]

Originally Posted by Raazor

stfu n0oB

Now you've gone and done it again, hurt my biggest feeler. Bastard.

[Raazor]

Originally Posted by Mick

Now you've gone and done it again, hurt my biggest feeler. Bastard.

[Rikki Z-06]

Originally Posted by Raazor

[Mick]

Originally Posted by Raazor

NFW. I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to emotionally recover from this. I'm starting to think that Tony Miller is right about you.