A Drunkard's Tale : My Yearly Christmas Poem

[BADRACR1]

This got me a warning from the "other place" many years ago. Still not sure why.

A Drunkard’s Tale

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the bar
not a drunkard was stirring
so I made for the car
when there by the door
there arose such a clatter
I turned my drunk ass
to see what was the matter.
In walked this tall chick
hair long, curly and black,
spike heeled boots and stockings
with a line up the back.
In the air you could hear
a collective gasp
as she turned towards the bar.
No way I could pass!
This could be an evening
of fantasies rare!
She was so hot
I could not help but stare.
She walked over towards me,
sat on the next stool
as I gazed in a stupor
and started to drool.
She said "How you doin'?
You need a good time?"
I knew in an instant
for a fee she'd be mine.
I nodded a yes
and she said "You got money?
"I drive a Vette"
I replied to the honey.
We sauntered on out
and as I watched her stride
I fancied the night as
we walked to my ride.
We then reached the lot
and her smile quickly faded.
I knew in that moment
my luck had been jaded.
"It's a freakin' C4!"
she screamed and we grappled.
'Twas then that I noticed
that gals Adam's Apple!
I jumped in the car
and I tore out of sight.
I heard her yell
into the late night:
"You got no benjamins
and I ain't yo bitch!
You cheap ass bastich!
I got a C6!"



Merry Christmas, folks!

[Dan Dlabay]

I like that

[dvarapala]

Not punky-approved.

[MadInNc]

Originally Posted by dvarapala

Not punky-approved.

WWPD?

[IrishSpuds]

That’s great!!!!

[Lipstic]

[Mick]

OK, I get it. C4 owners are drunken losers looking for free sex. C6 owners are trans-gendered prostitutes.

Good thing that didn't take a rip at C3 owners, cause if it did, I'm not sure what I'd do!

[DJ_Critterus]

Koko would have still showed off the C4 PosOTY


Wuz da nite befo Crimmus
An' all ower de hood;
Ereybody wuz' sleepin';
Dey wuz sleepin' good.

We hunged up our stockings
An hoped like de' heck
Dat ol' Sanna Claws
Be bringin' ar check.

All o' de fambly
Wuz layin in de beds,
Whilst Ripple and Thunderbird
Dance tru' dey heads.

I passed out inna' flo
Right nex to my Maw;
When I herd sech a fuss,
I thunk, "It mus be da Law!"

I looked out thru da bars
What covered my do',
'Spectin da sheriff
Wif a warrent fo' sho.

And what did I see,
I said, "Lawd, look at dat!"
They was a huge watta' melon,
Pulled by giant warf rats!

Now ober all de years
Sanna Claws, he be white;
But looks liken us bros
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.

Faster dan a po'lees car,
My homeboy he came;
He wupped on dem warf rats,
An' called dem by name!

"On Leroy, on 'Lonzo,
And on Willie Lee,
On Sapphire, on Chenequa,"
Dey wuz a site to see!

As he landed dat watta'mellon
Out der in da skreet,
I knowed it was fo' sho'
Da damdest site I ebber did see.

He didn't go down no chimbley,
He picked da' lock on my do';
An' I sez to mysef,
"Shit! He done dis befo'!"

He had dis big bag,
Full of presents I 'spect;
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun' my neck.

But he left no good prezents,
Jus' started steelin' my shit;
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar's kit!

Wit my stuff in da bag,
Out da winda he flewed;
I woudda' tried to catched him,
But he stoled my 'nife too!

He jumped on dat wadda'mellon,
An' wipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in a seccon',
Dat son of a bitch!

Next year I be hopin'
Anutha Sanna we git,
'Cuz diz here Sanna Claws
Jus' ain't werf a shit!

[BADRACR1]

Originally Posted by dvarapala

Not punky-approved.

Pffft! Noob.