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Old 04-24-2013, 1:52pm   #1
Olustee bus
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Default Anyone ever had an aged loved one with congested heart failure

and also weakening kidneys. My 93 y/o mother does. She needs a diuretic to keep fluid from building up in her lungs. When fluid builds up, her heart works much harder and she cannot "get a good breath".

However, a weak kidney needs to remain wet, with fluids.

Her general practitioner and cardio doctor are trying to balance the diuretic but she now has to take more than her gp would like.

When we discussed it with the Cardio doctor, she said by taking the diuretic more, she is choosing quality of life over quantity. (she said that while I and my mother was in the office which I thought was a little too frank but I do like the dr.)

I am thinking it is best to take the diuretics to rest her heart. If her heart works too hard and starts to really weaken, her kidneys are going to start to shut down anyhow.

Anyone have experience with that.
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Old 04-24-2013, 1:56pm   #2
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My Mom was 82 when she passed, and her organs just started to shut down, and it was like a domino effect that they couldn't help for long. Every med they gave her weakened her kidneys and stressed out the other organs like the heart.
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Old 04-24-2013, 2:28pm   #3
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MIL passed at 98 last November. Parts just start to wear out and not function properly. Our only regret was letting the Dr.s keep her on oxygen for extra days. She was on morphine to keep her calm and the O2 was essentially breathing for her. After removing her from the O2 she passed within 20 minutes. Please be aware that unless you request removal adamantly, the quality of life is not there and neither is the dignity. Sorry for your predicament and I can appreciate what is going thru your mind right now.
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Old 04-24-2013, 2:38pm   #4
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MIL passed at 98 last November. Parts just start to wear out and not function properly. Our only regret was letting the Dr.s keep her on oxygen for extra days. She was on morphine to keep her calm and the O2 was essentially breathing for her. After removing her from the O2 she passed within 20 minutes. Please be aware that unless you request removal adamantly, the quality of life is not there and neither is the dignity. Sorry for your predicament and I can appreciate what is going thru your mind right now.
We did the same thing, and in hindsight it was very unkind to her, and selfish on our part. We just didn't want to let her go.
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Old 04-24-2013, 2:48pm   #5
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Dad was 96 when he passed two years ago. He actually out lasted his first pace maker. He was on diuretics for so long, that it finally took it's toll on his kidneys and of course his heart.

Both his kidneys and heart got so weak he just couldn't go on. Both organs started shutting down simultaneously.

There is something to be said for the quaility of life.

You have a very hard road ahead of you.
My Prayers.
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Old 04-24-2013, 3:56pm   #6
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Thanks to all of you far the heartfelt comments. I will take heed to your comments regarding O2 an ventilators. She has a living will. Her mind is strong. If she does not want to go to the hospital, we do not force her. She is in charge of her health and well being.
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Old 04-24-2013, 4:01pm   #7
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My pup had it......which I know doesn't compare to a parent that has it. Sending prayers your way to help with the choices ahead.
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Old 04-24-2013, 4:07pm   #8
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take diuretic every day for my heart. no kidney complications though.

hope she gets better.
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Old 04-24-2013, 4:17pm   #9
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Originally Posted by Olustee bus View Post
and also weakening kidneys. My 93 y/o mother does. She needs a diuretic to keep fluid from building up in her lungs. When fluid builds up, her heart works much harder and she cannot "get a good breath".

However, a weak kidney needs to remain wet, with fluids.

Her general practitioner and cardio doctor are trying to balance the diuretic but she now has to take more than her gp would like.

When we discussed it with the Cardio doctor, she said by taking the diuretic more, she is choosing quality of life over quantity. (she said that while I and my mother was in the office which I thought was a little too frank but I do like the dr.)

I am thinking it is best to take the diuretics to rest her heart. If her heart works too hard and starts to really weaken, her kidneys are going to start to shut down anyhow.

Anyone have experience with that.
It's hard to watch when a parent is near the end but I have to commend the cardio doctor for telling you the quality over quantity part. Too many doctors will offer interventions, tests etc. but the outcome is the same except for the patient suffers more and longer. Just because we have it doesn't mean it should be offered if it is only going to prolong someones agony. Personally, I would go for quality over quantity any day and the goal will always be comfort and dignity.
I commend you for following what your Mother wants but please make sure everyone is aware what she wants especially if she does not want to be resuscitated and put on a ventilator. It's not unheard of for a family member to rescind a patients wishes and it only takes one family member to object unless someone has medical power of attorney.
Feel free to PM me any questions you might have. I don't have or pretend to have all the answers I can only tell you what I know and have seen.
Sorry for all you have to go through it's never easy.

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Originally Posted by lefthander View Post
MIL passed at 98 last November. Parts just start to wear out and not function properly. Our only regret was letting the Dr.s keep her on oxygen for extra days. She was on morphine to keep her calm and the O2 was essentially breathing for her. After removing her from the O2 she passed within 20 minutes. Please be aware that unless you request removal adamantly, the quality of life is not there and neither is the dignity. Sorry for your predicament and I can appreciate what is going thru your mind right now.
I don't understand your comment about 02 breathing for her. Your vital organs need oxygen and if they don't get enough they deteriorate and that is what causes things to happen not because the 02 is actually breathing for someone. A person would need to be on a Bipap machine (noninvasive ventilation) or a ventilator to receive breaths.
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Old 04-24-2013, 7:00pm   #10
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Originally Posted by Yamma View Post
My pup had it......which I know doesn't compare to a parent that has it. Sending prayers your way to help with the choices ahead.


My maternal grandmother had it as well.
IMO, continue to let her make the call, as long as she seems capable.
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Old 04-24-2013, 7:32pm   #11
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My Dad (93) had CHF for years until he passed last week. Kidney failure didn't occur until the week before he died, but the doctors told us that was the one thing they could not fix. He had broken his hip 8 weeks ago and that was the beginning of the end, so to speak. On that basis alone, I just don't feel like my experience can add meaningfully to what you're going through. My prayers are with you.
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:54pm   #12
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My mom passed from CHF at age 90. I can't add much to what has already been posted. Her mind was sharp, but her body failed her. Towards the end, it seemed like it was a fast downhill slide. My only complaint with her doctor was his unwillingness to use all methods at his disposal to manage her pain at the end. I mean seriously- it was obvious she was nearing the end of her life, and a long-term drug addiction just wasn't on my list of concerns at the time. I dug my heels in, and I can at least say she spent her final days in relative comfort.
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Old 04-24-2013, 11:10pm   #13
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My Mom too at 91 from CHF, legs swollen, hard to walk, on oxygen, sharp as a tack though, was still bustin' my chops like I was a little kid, she passed last year, miss her.

Last doctor's visit I was told she would hang on for about 6 months. Moved her close to me in a nice assisted living quarters, she loved it. After a while, 2 months, AL could not give her the care she needed, was going down hill fast. She had to go into nursing, lasted 10 days.

Best of luck, be strong for her.
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Old 04-24-2013, 11:52pm   #14
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I'm sorry to hear this, I lost both of my parents to this in the end..

This will be a tough time for you, and your family.
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Old 04-25-2013, 6:21am   #15
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My pup had it......which I know doesn't compare to a parent that has it. Sending prayers your way to help with the choices ahead.
It seems to me that in our society, we treat our animals better than we do our loved ones at the end.
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Old 04-25-2013, 8:37am   #16
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Default Anyone ever had an aged loved one with congested heart failure
*congestive
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Old 04-25-2013, 9:33am   #17
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My mom passed from CHF at age 90. I can't add much to what has already been posted. Her mind was sharp, but her body failed her. Towards the end, it seemed like it was a fast downhill slide. My only complaint with her doctor was his unwillingness to use all methods at his disposal to manage her pain at the end. I mean seriously- it was obvious she was nearing the end of her life, and a long-term drug addiction just wasn't on my list of concerns at the time. I dug my heels in, and I can at least say she spent her final days in relative comfort.
I had a patient once that the nurses and I finally were able to talk the doctor into giving her morphine for the pain every four hours. Near the end of the four hours she would start having intense pain so we tried for hours to get the doctor to make it a morphine drip but his response was "what do you want to do kill her?" Ahh no but it would be nice to have a continuous flow of meds for pain management instead of the up and down she was receiving from giving it every four hours. Thankfully there was another doctor who took over in the evening and made the morphine a drip. The patient was able to rest and have some quality time with her family before she passed away instead of being in pain and miserable. Some doctors you really have to nail their azz to the wall to get what your family member needs and I have no problem with suggesting to family members to call them every time their loved one yells, grimaces or says they are in pain. People need to remember doctors are your employees and you their employer if they aren't doing the job you need them to do then you need to fire their azz and find someone that will.
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Old 04-25-2013, 10:31am   #18
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Yes, my mother at 83 years old. CHF and surgery to drain the fluid till nothing worked any more and after the second episode of drawing off 7 liters of fluid, she said that's it and was dead 5 days later.

Her kidneys and liver had been so damaged over the years by the huge number of meds her so called "doctor" prescribed.....I tried for 30 years to get her away from him. We even put her in a mental health unit 4 times so he couldn't get to her. Just to get her off the meds. We all kept telling her that he was killing her and he came very close twice. She still thought he was a god and cared about her.

When the final days came and she was told why her body was shutting down, she said to us "Well, you girls were right. He has killed me" It was not a good death.....I still have nightmares about her final day.

I hope that karma exists and he gets his reward 100 times worse than what he did to my mother.

I'll keep you and your mom in my prayers.
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Old 04-25-2013, 11:16am   #19
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My Dad has it,his pacemaker went nuts yesterday and the Dr. couldn't get his heart beat back to normal so they shocked him and that worked.
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