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Old 10-16-2013, 4:13pm   #1
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Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.

Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious Behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I
Thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached the side of his car.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence . I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin?
Shit ... Is it midnight already?'


The court (and the judge) could not contain their mirth.
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Old 10-16-2013, 4:15pm   #2
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Old 10-16-2013, 4:16pm   #3
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I wonder if it was wearing a thong like yours...
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Old 10-16-2013, 4:17pm   #4
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Oh, won't someone think of the pumpkins, those poor, defenseless pumpkins?!
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Old 10-16-2013, 4:18pm   #5
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I wonder if it was wearing a thong like yours...
"The pumpkin was asking for it, your honor, look how it's dressed."
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Old 10-16-2013, 5:00pm   #6
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Old 10-16-2013, 5:07pm   #7
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Thats pretty funny.
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Old 10-16-2013, 5:41pm   #8
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Guilty. time served, $500 and court costs. go home!! and stay away from pumpkins until November.
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Old 10-16-2013, 5:50pm   #9
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Old 10-16-2013, 5:54pm   #10
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Old 10-16-2013, 5:55pm   #11
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I wonder if it was wearing a thong like yours...
Well, that would help
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Old 10-16-2013, 7:23pm   #12
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Old 10-16-2013, 8:27pm   #13
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Old 10-17-2013, 5:40am   #14
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Old 10-17-2013, 5:41am   #15
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I wonder if it was wearing a thong like yours...
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"The pumpkin was asking for it, your honor, look how it's dressed."
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Originally Posted by xxBUDxx
Pics of the pumpkin?
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Old 10-17-2013, 8:45am   #16
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Pumpkins? I though in GA they just pump kin. I musta been confused.
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Old 10-17-2013, 10:33am   #17
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Since I live in Gwinnett County I am pleased to anounce that Snopes reports this story as false. I suspected as much since the perps name was not Gonzalez...
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Old 10-17-2013, 5:31pm   #18
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Since I live in Gwinnett County I am pleased to anounce that Snopes reports this story as false. I suspected as much since the perps name was not Gonzalez...
It was you...... Wasn't it? .......
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