So, I...um...well...um...cough...met a gal...

[OddBall]

Not posting pics yet you bunch of pervs. Suffice it to say I'd be way over-chicked.
Hell, she'd over-chick most of us.
Edit: Pic on post #34

Ok, this is a pretty big step for me...

The 16th of this month was five years since Lori passed away. I lit a candle and drank the last of a bottle of wine that she had bought me. She made me promise to move on after she passed. I honestly didn't think I could do it. My world pretty much unraveled at that point.
And it's been a hard five years, the grief at times was damn near unbearable. There really wasn't anyone to lean on; Lori was my emotional support, so I just handled it alone. I was in and out of relationships before Lori and spent a lot of time alone, but I never felt lonely. After Lori passed, I came to know what loneliness really was. At first it was obscured by the gut-retching grief, but as the grief started to fade, the loneliness started to fill my life. I did not realize it, but Lori had changed my life; she had opened up a part of me that I had kept locked away, and she filled it. When she was gone, all I had left was this big empty void. In the years since she's passed I tried to fill that void with my hobbies, and the "farm", and the horses; whatever I could to bring some joy into my world. But I was enjoying all that alone, and as time went by the things that were meant to bring me joy started to depress me. What was the point of the farm if there was no one to share and enjoy it with. Why chase a butterfly with a camera if there is no one there to share it with. Why even bother? The house has gone to shit because; 'why bother'. I've got crap that has been sitting on the counter for over three years because there was no reason to put it away. Again, 'why bother'. I have essentially withdrawn to a cave.
For some months now, I've realized that I need to let Lori go and move on. I could almost hear her telling me to. If I didn't, I was going to be in a spiral of misery with loneliness as my only companion, and honestly, I was damn near fine with that. Let me tell you, letting go ain't easy. You feel guilty and scared, and you just want to run back into your shitty little mental cave and just live there with the memories. Or you can live with new memories.

So last week I swallowed my pride, put myself on a dating site and took a chance. Found an attractive woman with a profile that to me was just as attractive. We shared a lot of interests and common ground, so we started chatting back and forth, then talked on the phone and then met. We met for coffee yesterday afternoon and wound up talking till almost midnight. She definitely isn't a player, isn't nuts, and I'm pretty sure she's not an ax-murderer. She is the same age as I am, intelligent and witty, a down to earth regular type of gal, good looking, great figure, and just absolutely adorable. I don't know how this will go, I do hope that it works out. Yeah, I've learned not to wear my heart on my sleeve, and life has taught me to keep my radar up for the red-flag items. But so far, it seems to be a good fit. We've both got mileage and baggage, (you don't get to your mid 50's without it), but we both seem to have the same amount. We'll be going out again this weekend, we'll probably catch a movie and then coffee or go for a walk or something. I'm actually feeling a little bit of excitement again, something I haven't felt in a long time.
Anyway, I'll keep you guys posted and if things work out I'll post up a few pics.

[Olustee bus]

very well put there OddBall. Very nice tribute to your wonderful wife.

Now, to put this in perspective, do not doubt that you would be overchicked. If any lady takes an interest in you, you are overchicked!

J/K man. Very happy for you. Take it EASY

[Y-Body]

Thanks for posting your experience. That is not easy.
Best wishes as you move forward.

[VatorMan]

Aw, hell-just for forum etiquette... Post up the pics !!



Hope she's the one. But keep your eyes and ears open.

[Rob]

:inb4thegreenmangetsjealous:

[Craig]

All the best... I don't know if I could get over it if I lost Lisa, I hope I never find out.

[Iron Chef]

No need to let go of Lori. She'll always be a part of you, and you'll respect her memory by following through on your promise to her. The gal you met sounds like a quality person, so she'll understand and you'll get support from her.

You deserve a life too...there's no honor in growing old alone and heartbroken.

Best of luck, and keep us posted.

[snide]

Awesome! Oh, and welcome back. Some folks were starting to wonder what happened to you, since you hadn't posted for awhile.

Best of luck to you!

[MrPeabody]

Originally Posted by Iron Chef

No need to let go of Lori. She'll always be a part of you, and you'll respect her memory by following through on your promise to her. The gal you met sounds like a quality person, so she'll understand and you'll get support from her.

You deserve a life too...there's no honor in growing old alone and heartbroken.

Best of luck, and keep us posted.

I hope this is a new beginning for you. You are a good and sincere person and you deserve happiness.

[Mike Mercury]

So last week I ... put myself on a dating site and ... Found an attractive woman

suggestion; check her birth certificate and see what sex she was born as...

[Jobaka]

I'm confused. This seems to be a thread about meeting a woman, but there's no mention of international travel.

BRB, I need to check to make sure I'm on the right forum.












Oh, and congratulations. She sounds terrific.

[marrepka]

Nice tribute, I hope the new one works out, after five years, you deserve to be able to move on.

[Dan Dlabay]

I can tell that you loved your wife and she loved you and wanted you move on with your life. . May your wife rest in peace and be blessed by God and may you be blessed by God.

[boracayjohnny]

As someone who's gone through the same thing, you've done good and in a shorter time than some.

Someone once explained the grief as tsunami waves at first but as time goes by one learns to deal with it more effectively. The tsunami waves then become ripples.

Good on you. Enjoy things more now.

[Kerrmudgeon]

Well said Joe. I'm extremely happy for you. Like you say life without someone to share it with is bearable but feels empty. Even travel loses it's attraction. I'm in the same boat as you were....

Now.....if she has a sister....send her on over!

[Ol Timer]

Congratulations and best wishes. Looking forward to pictures!

[wwomanC6]

I wondered what happened to you? Glad to hear it's for something good! Good Luck and enjoy your new found friendship!

[JRD77VET]

Congrats on a good move forward ( just like you were told )

Hope it works well for both of you

Jeff

[Norm]

My best wishes, even Moriarity would wish you well.

[Jeff '79]

What a wonderfully eloquent description of your journey to the next chapter of your life.
You could actually be a writer, as that brought me to tears when I read it at work this afternoon.
If it feels right, you'll know it, and apparently it's time.
I wish you all the best .

Your life parallels my cousin's. He lost his wife to cancer 6 years ago and he compensated via boats, Harleys, trips etc.
Loneliness sucks, as you know. I told him that there is no need to torture yourself flying solo.... This after a good 4 years went by...
It took him 5 years, but he now has a girl as well.
Everything I do is for my wife. I can't imagine losing her and wanting to even get up in the morning. Everything happens for a reason so maybe your best times are ahead..... Let's hope so.