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Old 12-01-2022, 3:43pm   #1
bill_daniels
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Default Free Coffee Opportunity at Starbucks!

https://babylonbee.com/news/starbuck...aristas-gender

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Starbucks Begins Promotion Offering Free Coffee If You Correctly Guess Your Barista's Gender

Lifestyle ∑ Dec 1, 2022 ∑ BabylonBee.com


SEATTLE, WA ó In a move that seems destined to produce both increased interest and controversy, coffee giant Starbucks has announced the start of a new promotion in which customers will receive a free shot of espresso if they are able to correctly guess their barista's gender when placing their order.

"On the surface, it may sound rather straightforward," said Starbucks marketing representative Randi Savage in a press release unveiling the promotion. "However, with there now being so many genders ó a nearly unlimited number, in fact ó we feel confident that we won't have to worry about giving away too much free coffee."

Customers reached for comment outside a local Starbucks gave a mixed reaction to the promotion. "I guess it's a way to potentially score an extra shot of espresso for free," said Carson Moon. "And with inflation, that's like saving thirty bucks!"

Others expressed trepidation regarding the promotion, however. "Don't you know what happens these days if you don't guess someone's gender correctly?" asked loyal Starbucks customer Tate Kelly. "It's like a one-in-a-million chance of guessing it right! I'm not sure I want to risk getting canceled just to have a chance at a free espresso shot."

At publishing time, Starbucks continued to work on the fine print of the promotion's legal documentation, expected to also include a severe penalty of being banned from all Starbucks locations for life if the customer guesses incorrectly and misgenders the barista.
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Old 12-01-2022, 5:44pm   #2
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I guess FAG - what do I win?
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Old 12-01-2022, 6:20pm   #3
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Would not drink that garbage if it was free everyday.
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Old 12-01-2022, 6:36pm   #4
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Went once to a sb, not my decision, it sucked big ballz, would not drink their piss for free!!
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Old 12-01-2022, 6:40pm   #5
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It's strong, but burnt. I would drink it if it was free, but wouldn't pay for it. I guess if you get something more sugary from them, the burnt taste is masked, but since I drink coffee black, nothing to hide the burnt taste.
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Old 12-01-2022, 6:43pm   #6
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Really donít care for their coffee and donít drink any of the crazy combo non coffee drinks they offer. If they disappeared tomorrow it would not affect me
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Old 12-01-2022, 6:48pm   #7
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Barista - Italian origin meaning:

1. Gender fluid
2. Otherwise unemployable
3. Social media influencer
4. Raised fatherless or having two fathers or two mothers
5. Entitled to earn $15.00 per hour, but qualified to be jobless
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Old 12-01-2022, 7:22pm   #8
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i had to get some more Folgers coffee, $11 for a tub of grounds, should last me about 2 months (one cup a day), so that's how much i spend on my daily coffee fix. not much.
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Old 12-01-2022, 8:04pm   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LATB View Post
Would not drink that garbage if it was free everyday.
Yeah I'm sure a multi-billion dollar corporation is traumatized over losing your business
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Old 12-01-2022, 8:07pm   #10
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It's amazing to me people are willing to pay $5.00 for a cup of coffee. These are the same people that'll complain about gas prices.
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Old 12-01-2022, 8:12pm   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giraffe (He/Him) View Post
It's amazing to me people are willing to pay $5.00 for a cup of coffee. These are the same people that'll complain about gas prices.
Same people that canít pay their student loans
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Old 12-01-2022, 9:11pm   #12
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Haha please tell me you know this is fake
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Old 12-01-2022, 9:18pm   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ill Duce View Post
Yeah I'm sure a multi-billion dollar corporation is traumatized over losing your business
Not the point.

Hereís a point: Starbucks has given me more money than I will ever give them.
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Old 12-01-2022, 11:01pm   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giraffe (He/Him) View Post
It's amazing to me people are willing to pay $5.00 for a cup of coffee. These are the same people that'll complain about gas prices.



Same people that insist on drinking bottled water.
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Old 12-02-2022, 9:38am   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ratflinger View Post
Same people that insist on drinking bottled water.
I drink bottled water.
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Old 12-02-2022, 10:01am   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ratflinger View Post
Same people that insist on drinking bottled water.
I like the taste of Starbucks but not enough to pay what they charge
I also drink bottled water and I recycle every bottle....
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Old 12-02-2022, 10:08am   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LATB View Post
I drink bottled water.



In thin plastic round bottles that get pierced in the ice chest?

or

Fancy square bottles listed on the menu at snooty restaurants?





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Old 12-02-2022, 10:12am   #18
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I drink tap water, with ice that is made from tap water, using the same metal cup for eight years.
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Old 12-02-2022, 10:26am   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 04 commemorative View Post
I like the taste of Starbucks but not enough to pay what they charge
I also drink bottled water and I recycle every bottle....
Recycling water bottles is not considered economical anymore.
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Old 12-02-2022, 10:45am   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Strats-N-Vettes View Post
In thin plastic round bottles that get pierced in the ice chest?

or

Fancy square bottles listed on the menu at snooty restaurants?





Regular round bottles. If they get any thinner we are going to have to call them water bags not bottles.
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