staying abreast of the newest...

[Mike Mercury]

words & phrases:

Party Hats
erect and mighty pointed nipples.
It must be cold out because that girl has her party hats on.

Guilt Wave
The wave given by a driver who just cut in ahead of you in traffic or knowingly did something that is completely wrong on the road.
I was about to make a turn when this dude comes speeding by almost hitting me. He stopped at the last second and gave me a guilt wave.

Zero Calorie Dinner
When your dinner passes right through your body, causing the runs, or the shits. Providing your body with no nutrion and zero calories.
Man that steak isn't agreeing with me, looks like I'm having a zero calorie dinner tonight.
I was on the can all night, had a nother zero calorie dinner.

Carnal Tunnel Syndrome
A wrist injury caused by excessive fapping.
"Hey, did Byron hurt his hand?"
"No, he's got carnal tunnel syndrome"

Collateral Whiz
The 5% of a man's whiz missing the toilet, sprinkling over the toilet seat.

Boner Shock
Expressions or actions performed that causes your boner to go into "shock" or go back into the flaccid stage.
That girl gave me boner shock when right before sex she said "I always forget to take my birth control pill."

Skin Thirty
a reply from someone who doesn't have a watch, usually said after someone asks what time it is.
1: Hey, what time is it?
2: (looks at their watchless wrist) It's skin-thirty.

Add To Cart
colloquialism for yes
When she asked if I wanted to come in at the end of our date, all I could think in my mind was, "add to cart."

[snide]

I hate it when the food I eat provides no nutrion...

[Mike Mercury]

Index Finger Discount
similar to the five finger discount in that it involves stealing/illegally obtaining items. however the index finger discount applies only to the index finger on the hand which you use your mouse for clicking and downloading illegal music, movies, etc.
I recently obtained a shitload of music using the index finger discount

Macaroni and Sneeze
A regular for lunch at institutions such as public schools, hospitals (esp. mental), and the military/boot camp. Any kind of pasta dish consisting of ingredients/prepared by individuals you are unsure of.
The lunch lady had something hanging from her nose on Monday, the same day we had Macaroni and Sneeze.

Caffeine Window
The daily time slot in which you must have some form of caffeine otherwise you will get a headache. No amount of caffeine after this window will cure the headache. A common ailment of coffee addicts who need their morning fix before they can function properly.

sorry, autocorrect
A phrase often used when a private or dirty text is sent to the wrong person in an attempt to lessen the awkwardness or dismiss the conversation
Girl: Jeff's cawk is so big
Guy: But I'm your boyfriend. I think we need to break up
Girl: Sorry, autocorrect!! I meant clock!

[Bill]

I've both given, and been a recipient of, the guilt wave. Glad it has a formal name, now.