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Old 03-02-2013, 6:22pm   #1
lutzdog
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Default 24 Things Cops know but most people dont.

Not all of these are strictly what the police know that private citizens don’t, but they’re close.
Many are things I wish I could have said, but would have been in big trouble for doing so.
1.) Even though you say differently, you probably don’t know your rights.
2.) If you leave your teenager in charge of the house while you go away for the weekend, he or she will probably do something you forbade them to do. If they decide to host a beer party, your house will be wrecked.
3.) You can’t talk your way out of a ticket. Lots of people talk themselves into one.
4.) Of course it went off. What did you expect would happen when you pulled the trigger?
5.) The electronics in your radar or laser detector work no faster than those in my radar or LIDAR gun. By the time the little red light goes on, I already have your speed.
6.) We know you had more than two beers.
7.) If you grew up with guns in the house, you probably knew how to get to them, even though your parents thought they had them hidden or locked away. Don’t think your kids are any less ingenious.
8.) Arguing with me here will not go well for you. Arguments are for courtrooms, where you can make any statements and ask me any questions you want. Out here, I win all the arguments.
9.) We really don’t care how many FOP, State Sheriffs Association or 11-99 Foundation stickers you buy for your car. If you deserve the ticket, you’re getting it.
10.) Yes, you do pay my salary. Today’s obligation can be calculated by the following formula:
((Amount you pay annually in state, county, or city taxes/365) x (Fraction of budget allocated for law enforcement))/(Number of employees in my organization)
11.) I’d be happy to give you a refund. Do you have change for a penny?
12.) Most able-bodied people really can do those tests while sober.
13.) You are not the first person to see a cop and say "Take him, he did it," "I didn’t do it," or to tell your kid, "If you don’t behave, that cop will put you in jail." You probably aren’t even the first one to say that today. You have, however, caused me to mentally label you as a moron.
14.) The gun isn’t to protect you. It is to protect me.
15.) Your substance abuse problem is your business until it spills over into someone else’s life. Now, you are the problem.
16.) I don’t especially care what your race, religion, sexual preference, ethnicity, political affiliation or economic status is. I do have a bias against assholes.
17.) Can anyone here point out this person’s parents? He just asked me if I knew who his father was, and I don’t.
18.) Believe it or not, you really don’t drive better with a few drinks in you.
19.) Do unto others, but do it first.
20.) We are not armed, uniformed scribes. If someone has threatened, insulted, or otherwise vexed you in some non-criminal way and you want it put on record, write it down, take it to a notary public, and sign it in their presence. Poof, you have a record. If we could make one change to improve society, better parenting would be toward the top of the list.
21.) There probably are teenagers who can handle alcohol responsibly outside the direct supervision of an adult. We never run into them, though.
22.) Please press firmly, you are making four copies.
23.) You are in ______________. We don’t care how they do it in ___________.
24.) Yes, you very well may see me in court. I get paid overtime to be there, win or lose.
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Old 03-02-2013, 8:10pm   #2
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#15) Your substance abuse (to include alcohol) problem is your business until it spills over into someone else’s life. Now, you are the problem.

How very true, especially the innocents after a fatal accident.
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Old 03-02-2013, 8:14pm   #3
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In dog beers, I've only had one.
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Old 03-02-2013, 8:59pm   #4
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25) And if you think you can clear out the marijuana smoke out of your vehicle before I walk up to your car..........Good luck with that........
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Old 03-02-2013, 9:20pm   #5
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In dog beers, I've only had one.
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Old 03-02-2013, 9:47pm   #6
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25) And if you think you can clear out the marijuana smoke out of your vehicle before I walk up to your car..........Good luck with that........
Long about early '82, the ex and I needed a station wagon, so we sold a small pickup we had, and bought a used Datsun 810 Wagon to bring our brand new daughter home from the hospital in.....

the thing was ~4 years old.....and smelled of heavy POT smoke in it.....

we aired it out pretty good for a few months before our new daughter got in it....but that stink was in the car till we got rid of it....

a few funny stories about that car, but take too long to type out.....

had a bad fuel pump connection that an old friend and I found the hard way.....


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Old 03-02-2013, 9:48pm   #7
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** The brakes on a four wheel drive vehicle don't work well in snow either. I continue to see proof of dumb asses after each snow. So, slow your ass down while driving a four wheel drive vehicle in snow.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:14pm   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrvette View Post
Long about early '82, the ex and I needed a station wagon, so we sold a small pickup we had, and bought a used Datsun 810 Wagon to bring our brand new daughter home from the hospital in.....

the thing was ~4 years old.....and smelled of heavy POT smoke in it.....

we aired it out pretty good for a few months before our new daughter got in it....but that stink was in the car till we got rid of it....

a few funny stories about that car, but take too long to type out.....

had a bad fuel pump connection that an old friend and I found the hard way.....


Ironically, the smell of marijuana smoke will linger indefinitely in a vehicle due to it being absorbed by one particular part. The headliner.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:23pm   #9
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Ironically, the smell of marijuana smoke will linger indefinitely in a vehicle due to it being absorbed by one particular part. The headliner.
I knew a guy in the 60s that had a car with a headliner you probably could have smoked and gotten high.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:24pm   #10
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I'm sure if I were a cop, I'd probably become pretty syndical; but when I read stuff like this, I get the feeling that, for cops, there's a very low regard for non-cops.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:27pm   #11
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Quote:
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I'm sure if I were a cop, I'd probably become pretty syndical; but when I read stuff like this, I get the feeling that, for cops, there's a very low regard for non-cops.
No.

That's not it at all.




There's a very low regard for people who dislike cops.

Case in point, #14. As a former LEO who has put my own life on the line many, many times for others, this is simply disappointing. Very, very disappointing to read something like this.

That's what I feel when I read something like this. Sheer and utter disappointment.

I'm not even angry, or even insulted. Just... damn.

In case you all didn't realize it, none of this was written by a cop. I guarantee it.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:29pm   #12
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Quote:
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I'm sure if I were a cop, I'd probably become pretty syndical; but when I read stuff like this, I get the feeling that, for cops, there's a very low regard for non-cops.
I thought the very exact same thing. Their apparent attitude of superiority is obnoxious at best.

I have an old friend who has been in law enforcement since he got out of college. He admits that most of his co-workers think they are some how superior to the rest of society. I can only think it is because of how much they deal with the anus of society on a daily basis.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:38pm   #13
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I think at worst there can be somewhat of an Us-vs-Them kind of mentality among some cops. That's one of the things I like about small town life. The LEOs live among us as friends and neighbors and I'm on a first name basis with many of them.

The cynical attitude is somewhat understandable, given what they work with every day. But as someone married to an RN, I can tell you they see some pretty rotten shit every day and take many of the same risks as LEOs.

I'm not saying I'd be any different or better at the job than those who do it now, but then that's why I decided not to. I did take some LE courses in college before I chose a different path.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:41pm   #14
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Quote:
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No.

That's not it at all.




There's a very low regard for people who dislike cops.

Case in point, #14. As a former LEO who has put my own life on the line many, many times for others, this is simply disappointing. Very, very disappointing to read something like this.

That's what I feel when I read something like this. Sheer and utter disappointment.

I'm not even angry, or even insulted. Just... damn.

In case you all didn't realize it, none of this was written by a cop. I guarantee it.
I apologize for my jump to that conclusion; you're right, probably not an accurate generalization.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:42pm   #15
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I apologize for my jump to that conclusion; you're right, probably not an accurate generalization.
No apology needed, Sir. Your reaction was not unexpected and there was nothing wrong with what you said or thought.

I just thought I'd add my own reaction.

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Old 03-02-2013, 10:46pm   #16
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The whole thing strikes me as something written by someone who was not themselves a law enforcement officer, but who was around cops quite a bit, and was on the negative end of some arrogance projected by LEO's.

The text as a whole reeks of someone who has an agenda to paint LEO's as arrogant, mean people who don't like non-LEO's. That's why it doesn't strike me as having been written by anyone who was ever a cop, even for a brief time.
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Old 03-02-2013, 11:31pm   #17
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I wish I had a nickel for every time I have heard # 13

And I like to think I break the mold of the stereotype arrogant cop that exists in some people's minds. For me it's just a job, not who I am, and it certainly doesn't define me.
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Old 03-02-2013, 11:32pm   #18
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Well said.
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Old 03-02-2013, 11:36pm   #19
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Wow
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Old 03-02-2013, 11:38pm   #20
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Here's a story that gave me some perspective about why cops may have the attitude some of them do.

A guy in my car club used to be a cop. He owns a grocery store now. One time one of the members asked him if he quit being a cop because he was afraid of getting shot. He said: "No, I got shot. Got stabbed. Got bitten. Got shit on, Got pissed on. Got puked on. Got punched. Got kicked..."
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