The dying process

[Yadkin]

It's been a rough two years. My wife's step-dad insisted on dying in the house that he built 50 years ago. New York. Full time caregiver, accessible bathroom, hospital bed. The whole deal and it took about 9 months. That took a toll on his wife, my mother-in-law.

After he died my mother-in-law finally went to the hospital to address symptoms that she was having. Turned out to be bladder cancer. Past operable.

Between settling the estate and her medical assessments, that process took 14 months. Tons of document shredding. He saved files of everything dating back to the 70's. But, he did well. Worked as a bank director after retiring as a carpenter. Set up the estate in trust.

Then we hauled my mother-in-law to NC to a skilled nursing home chosen by my wife, with 35 years experience in the field. Eleven hours in the car and it went surprisingly well. We left at 4am and arrived to be set up by the daytime staff. The nursing home is 90 minutes from our house. A sister facility that my wife used to be director.

The first week was nothing but my MIL's complaints, on the level of 'my ginger ale is too cold', up to more serious complaints of pain and nausea. Along with the nursing home staff we hired private caregivers for several hours of the day to do the simple things like adjust pillows, wipe her nose or change the TV channel. Dialed in medicine to make her comfortable.

My wife was there the last week or so. Her sister, bi-polar, flew in today so I went in last night to referee.

Mom's conditioned worsened predictably and today, two months after arriving here on God's Country, her breathing slowed, then stopped.

We pre-arranged the funeral arrangements with Mom's wishes. Pre-wrote the obituary. Next week we pick up ashes. When our daughter is here on Thanksgiving we'll spread them.

All is good, she's with Jesus, my wife's younger brother who suffered with a rare form of MD, her parents, and her 2nd husband.

[MadInNc]

[Taurus]

Very sorry for your loss, God speed.

[Bill]

Sorry for your loss.

[roadpilot]

It's all part of life.We all go through it.
If you truly believe ,you will be fine.