I must be a horrible person

[SnikPlosskin]

My brother is dying from drinking himself to death. He’s in the ICU with kidney and liver failure. My youngest brother is a heart surgeon and he says this the end.

This guy somehow got a bug up his ass about me about ten years ago and cut contact off with me. Other than the usual brawling as kids, I’ve always treated him (and everyone) with respect. For several years I continually reached out to him and never got a call back. He is a huge asshole and Marxist.

He did once call me out of the blue acting like he really wanted to patch things up. Out of the gate he asked how I was doing. I said, “Well, I’ve been very ill and just got out of the ICU…” at which point he flew into a rage yelling “Is this a conversation or is it all about you?”

I literally said 11 words. He was drunk. I told him when he sobers up to call back and hung up on him.

When my dad died, we were driving to the funeral home with my mom in the back (he was driving her car) and she was doing some backseat driving. He turned around and yelled at her to “Shut the **** up!”. I told him if he ever speaks to our mother again in that manner I will beat his ass into the ground.

He was sneaking booze during the entire time and was likely drunk. (We didn’t know at that point). Dig it - he did this WHILE DRIVING MOM TO SEE HER HUSBANDS DEAD BODY.

My mom called this morning to tell me and she was quite upset. My heart is breaking for her. No mother should have to bury their kid. But I feel absolutely nothing. In fact, I say “**** that guy.” He ****ed around and found out.

I never had any issue with him and nobody was ever able to figure out what his problem was. I think it was politics.

But mostly I don’t give a shot because this guy had an otherwise healthy body and he chose to destroy it. I would give ANYTHING to live a normal, healthy life.

His method of raising kids is “Groovy man…just do your thing. I’ll be passed out on the floor.” The result is two of the most worthless kids on the planet. They have never had any boundaries.

I just don’t get it. I’d go piss on his grave but don’t want to fly across the country. I’ll use that money for ammo. I also don’t want to waste the piss.

[Rodnok1]

One mistake wasn't pulling him out of the car on the spot when he spoke to your mother like that and stomping his ass into next month.
I just separate from people 100% when they go off the rails. I didn't talk to my mother for decades over her bullshit. Just wasn't worth the stress.
My friend's sister did similar to your brother... She had liver failure and was still drinking a fifth of vodka or more a day(drinking while in hospital even) then people got mad when he said **** her she did it to herself. No sympathy was given nor deserved.

[Taurus]

People that have done that to themselves are impossible to deal with unless they get sober through a program. I have a 40 something year old brother in law who was the baby of the family that is trying to get sober to be approved for a liver transplant. Even if approved, he has no insurance or money, drank all that. He still gets drunk and goes drunk posting on social media and has called and threatened my wife. She still cares, I could care less. His abuse of his sister is just inexcusable, to make threats of violence is just plain hateful. My wife says it's because he's out of his mind, I say it's because he's a self centered dick who only cares about getting that next bottle.

He seems to be making progress, again I don't really care. I must be a horrible person as well. We should start a club.

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by Taurus

People that have done that to themselves are impossible to deal with unless they get sober through a program. I have a 40 something year old brother in law who was the baby of the family that is trying to get sober to be approved for a liver transplant. Even if approved, he has no insurance or money, drank all that. He still gets drunk and goes drunk posting on social media and has called and threatened my wife. She still cares, I could care less. His abuse of his sister is just inexcusable, to make threats of violence is just plain hateful. My wife says it's because he's out of his mind, I say it's because he's a self centered dick who only cares about getting that next bottle.

He seems to be making progress, again I don't really care. I must be a horrible person as well. We should start a club.

Can I be president of the club? Thank god I don’t drink.

[Rodnok1]

People get offended when you goto funerals to make sure someone is dead... So I heard.

[Taurus]

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin

Can I be president of the club? Thank god I don’t drink.

Yes you can Mr. President.

[Blademaker]

20 years ago, My BIL and I were at a cook out and I took a few hits off a doob.
He looked shocked, told me that shit was gonna kill me.
I told him I'd be around long after he blew out his liver. I had no idea how prophetic those word would be.
We buried him 2 years ago. He was 54.
Drank himself to death.

This past April, I was contacted and told that my estranged cousin was dead from a heart attack from substance (Drinking heavily) abuse. Last contact was 2021 when I had a case of the Wuhan lite. He was drunk, got pissed when I said call back sober.
He was 60.

Wife's Nephew OD'd on methamphetamine. His heart exploded.
He was 32.


A year later, her Niece OD'd on heroin. She was turning tricks,....we believe it was suicide.
She was 30.


But they all have one thing in common.....They were all warned repeatedly about their condition and the consequences of their actions and habits.
They had a choice, and they chose poorly.

You an asshole?

Not hardly.
Life's tough, wear a helmet.

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by Blademaker

20 years ago, My BIL and I were at a cook out and I took a few hits off a doob.
He looked shocked, told me that shit was gonna kill me.
I told him I'd be around long after he blew out his liver. I had no idea how prophetic those word would be.
We buried him 2 years ago. He was 54.
Drank himself to death.

This past April, I was contacted and told that my estranged cousin was dead from a heart attack from substance (Drinking heavily) abuse. Last contact was 2021 when I had a case of the Wuhan lite. He was drunk, got pissed when I said call back sober.
He was 60.

Wife's Nephew OD'd on methamphetamine. His heart exploded.
He was 32.


A year later, her Niece OD'd on heroin. She was turning tricks,....we believe it was suicide.
She was 30.


But they all have one thing in common.....They were all warned repeatedly about their condition and the consequences of their actions and habits.
They had a choice, and they chose poorly.

You an asshole?

Not hardly.
Life's tough, wear a helmet.

Wow.

You hit on something there. He was told over and over. What a dumbass.

Now I say this as someone who had to do inpatient rehab in my 20’s when I got off the road. I was a mess and not just on booze. I get it. It was hard.

So no excuse.

[JRD77VET]

With your and Blademaker's stories, it seems a LOT of folks of love to give advise but don't know how to look from the outside in with their own behavior.

Sad, sorry to hear Snik.

[04 commemorative]

Sorry for you and your family Snik......

[Frankie the Fink]

I really don't know why some feel compelled to air their family dysfunction and drama on a hobbyist web site forum. But, maybe that's just me....

[LATB]

You can choose your friends but you can not choose your family.

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by Frankie the Fink

I really don't know why some feel compelled to air their family dysfunction and drama on a hobbyist web site forum. But, maybe that's just me....

Honestly, I have nobody to talk to. I consider most of you friends. Even you Frankie.

[Anjdog2003]

Originally Posted by Frankie the Fink

I really don't know why some feel compelled to air their family dysfunction and drama on a hobbyist web site forum. But, maybe that's just me....

I agree, deep down nobody GAF. I don't let people know my family problems or mine.

[Anjdog2003]

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin

Honestly, I have nobody to talk to. I consider most of you friends. Even you Frankie.

Set your bar higher for friends

[Tikiman]

Moderation in all things. With that said, some people are preprogrammed to be self-destructive and there is very little anyone else can do about it.

[SnikPlosskin]

Man there are some seriously uptight people around here.

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by Anjdog2003

I agree, deep down nobody GAF. I don't let people know my family problems or mine.

@Anjdog2003 Tell me something. Why did you bother posting that?

What makes you think your opinion is important?

[Lakeside49]

Snik -
curious if you’ve ever recently pulled out your somewhat amazing lighted hobby model of the Enterprise - and, if you’ve seen w/ your thoughts about the recent ‘Picard’ series that reunited all 7 of the Next Gen cast for one final ‘adventure’? I admit that I kind of enjoyed it on some levels.

Sorry about your brother. It’s almost certain that his diagnosis was/is ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’. The people who are afflicted with it know that something is wrong, it terrifies them as well when the rage over the slightest issue overwhelms them without warning - and, BPD-specific medicine options are limited and probably very expensive. Many mental health counselor professionals will not take a client with BPD. So, they often self-medicate. Heart breaking for all.

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by Lakeside49

Snik -
curious if you’ve ever recently pulled out your somewhat amazing lighted hobby model of the Enterprise - and, if you’ve seen w/ your thoughts about the recent ‘Picard’ series that reunited all 7 of the Next Gen cast for one final ‘adventure’? I admit that I kind of enjoyed it on some levels.

Sorry about your brother. It’s almost certain that his diagnosis was/is ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’. The people who are afflicted with it know that something is wrong, it terrifies them as well when the rage over the slightest issue overwhelms them without warning - and, BPD-specific medicine options are limited and probably very expensive. Many mental health counselor professionals will not take a client with BPD. So, they often self-medicate. Heart breaking for all.

That project got interrupted when I underwent seven surgeries from 2017-2022. Now to complete it I have to trace every circuit to figure out the last few connections and I just have not had time.

Plus there is a structural issue I need to solve where it mounts. There is a lot of sheering pressure there and I may have to design some external supports to keep it from eventually sagging and coming apart.

It’s very close to completion but it’s very complex electronically. Part of my hesitation is ruining it during the last assembly steps - flushing hundreds of hours of work down the toilet. Need to get over that.

I also fear giving it full power and having something wrong (hence tracing every circuit). Parts of the electronics are sealed up so if something fries, it can’t be fixed. For example I designed sequential flashing landing lights in the shuttle bay and it worked perfectly one day then the first two lights stopped working. Oh well.

Also had the glue fail on one of the nacelles. It’s hanging by some wires. I bit off a lot to chew on that one.

I’ll try to post some pics of its current state. I’m sure some people will come in to that thread with judgmental bullshit too.