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Old 06-21-2012, 5:24pm   #1
DaveK88
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When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah asked, 'Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working, and at your age I think that is remarkable.'

George Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.'

Oprah said, 'I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your age.'

George said, 'Of course I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good at it.

Oprah said, 'I have never been with an older man. Would you do it with me?'

So they had sex and when they finished, Oprah said, 'I just don't believe I have ever been so satisfied. You are a remarkable man!'

George said, 'The second time is even better than the first time.'

Oprah asked, 'You can really do it again at your age?'

George said, 'Just let me sleep for half an hour. You hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and wake me up in thirty minutes.'

When she woke him up, they had great sex again, and Oprah was beside herself with joy.

She said, 'Oh Mr. Burns, I am astounded that you could do a repeat performance and have it be even better than the first time. At your age, Oh My, Oh My!'

George told her that the third time would be even better. 'You just hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and call me in thirty minutes.'

Oprah asked, 'Does my holding you like that kind of recharge your batteries?



George replied, 'No, but the last time I had sex with a black woman she stole my wallet'.
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Old 06-21-2012, 5:28pm   #2
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Old 06-21-2012, 5:28pm   #3
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Old 06-21-2012, 5:51pm   #4
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That is great!!
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Old 06-21-2012, 5:58pm   #5
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made me snot !
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Old 06-21-2012, 6:02pm   #6
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Old 06-21-2012, 6:03pm   #7
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Old 06-21-2012, 6:29pm   #8
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And it sounds like something he would say!
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Old 06-21-2012, 9:01pm   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lspencer534 View Post
And it sounds like something he would say!
Them old comics from the 50-60's could say ANYTHING and get away with it....

Burns/Allen, Gobel, Gleason, Sammy Davis Jr., jeebus, the list is longer than my memory.....every one of them make us all roll in the isles.....

and they didn't have to sound like Andy Dice Clay either, not that Clay was totally BAD, but he did sorta break new ground, good and bad....
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Old 06-21-2012, 9:10pm   #10
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Old 06-22-2012, 6:45am   #11
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Old 06-22-2012, 6:59am   #12
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Zing
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Old 06-22-2012, 8:32am   #13
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Racist bastage.
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Old 06-22-2012, 10:27am   #14
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:coffeespew:
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Old 06-22-2012, 10:29am   #15
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Now that is funny! (and I have never heard it before)
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Old 06-22-2012, 10:30am   #16
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Old 06-22-2012, 12:35pm   #17
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Old 06-22-2012, 12:45pm   #18
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Good one... been telling it for years and everybody always gets a laugh.
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