Anger Management help

[Aerovette]

Originally Posted by simpleman68

Anger is a tricky thing to deal with man. I've been through all sorts of "assistance" with it.

Feel free to give me a call any time to chew the fat over it. Be glad to espouse what little wisdom I have.
Scott

Thanks man. I may take you up on the offer. I'm kind of in a funk over it.

[simpleman68]

Originally Posted by aerovette

Thanks man. I may take you up on the offer. I'm kind of in a funk over it.

Would be good to catch up if nothing else.
Scott

[JRD77VET]

On a serious note, I find taking time to think about my actions before exploding helps me.

Make sure you let your wife know you're looking for guidance / help on this. Hopefully she will relax a slight bit to help you take the edge off too.

Best of luck
Jeff

[Thunder22]

Just to lighten this thread up a bit:

Maybe you just need to get laid more often?

And if it doesn't help, well, you win regardless

[LATB]

Originally Posted by Thunder22

Just to lighten this thread up a bit:

Maybe you just need to get laid more often?

And if it doesn't help, well, you win regardless

Angry sex can land you in traction.

[Thunder22]

Originally Posted by LATB

Angry sex can land you in traction.

Something you want to tell us about?

[The Cripp]

Just chill my friend... I know you're a good guy!

For what it's worth... I found my peace in Jesus.

I was so far down having lost my woman, house, and job due to my brain injury that if I had a gun... well...

Christ saved me... not some Christian wacko thing... HE DID.

Things have gone so well for me since, it couldn't be "coincidence".

There. I said it.

[DAB]

At the end of a day, no matter what has happened I know, not just think, but know deep in my heart that God, my wife, and my dog love me. That's enough.

If I haven't made your day, well, I'll try again tomorrow. I'm not perfect, I don't know everything, and if I'm wrong, I'll say I'm sorry.

Only in God is my soul at rest, in Him is my salvation.

[kingpin]

Get off the forums and the internet.
Find a hobby.

I use to have a heavy bag that was made of rough canvas in the garage. It was originally white but ended up a nasty brown color from the blood.

I started out using boxing gloves. I got no satisfaction.
I went to quick wraps...still no satisfaction.
Not until I went bare knuckle and I could feel it and see the blood on the bag did I really feel satisfied after 5-10 minutes.
Got to the point where all I had to do was picture myself hitting the bag and I could feel it ripping my knuckles to shreds. That has been satisfaction enough.

Oh and get off the internet. Did I say that already?

[Aerovette]

Originally Posted by DAB

At the end of a day, no matter what has happened I know, not just think, but know deep in my heart that God, my wife, and my dog love me. That's enough.

If I haven't made your day, well, I'll try again tomorrow. I'm not perfect, I don't know everything, and if I'm wrong, I'll say I'm sorry.

Only in God is my soul at rest, in Him is my salvation.

In the words of Meatloaf...two outta three ain't bad.

[MrPeabody]

Do you have a dog, Aerovette? If not, consider getting one. They can have a very calming influence on your life.

If you do have one, just try and be the person your dog thinks you are.

[Aerovette]

Originally Posted by MrPeabody

Do you have a dog, Aerovette? If not, consider getting one. They can have a very calming influence on your life.

If you do have one, just try and be the person your dog thinks you are.

4 dogs. One is mine. He won't eat if I am not in the room by his bowl. We love each other. He's my bud.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Originally Posted by aerovette

This is exactly my point. As much as you probably can't understand my reaction, I don't understand yours.
I "want" to be just a "let it go" person and do my 55 in the right lane and let the world fly by.

I just don't have the wiring in me or the tools necessary to be that way. I was looking for real world experience from people that may suffer from the same thing and whether it was counseling or medication, or meditation, or what exactly worked. I am wound way too tight and I can't seem to decompress ever.

Some of it is the fact that with my age, and my lack of college education, it seems my life is always on the teetering edge of implosion and the stress from that keeps me at level 9 all the time so the smallest thing takes me to 10 with little effort. It is exhausting...truly exhausting. The odd thing is, my friends never (or rarely) see this in me. It is my family unfortunately, and particularly my wife. She has had enough, I have had enough. I just don't want to go through the expense and time it takes for anger management meetings etc if I hear stories of repeated failures. If it doesn't work, I'd rather know now and find an alternate solution.

Ugh, I am just beat from it all. Too many years of stress have just got me hard wired for disproportionate reactions to daily encounters. I am afraid I am a lost cause.

You need to go see a therapist. Immediately. Talk thru your issues and fix yourself. Trying to salvage your marriage is a futile effort without having yourself squared away. You will never make anyone else happy if you aren't happy with yourself.

Tough love time: You're unhappy with your current station in life and you've listed it as a major factor in your anger. Fair enough. So, what are you going to do about it? Sit around and fester over it? Or take the steps to make some changes? Take control of your life. Don't dwell on what you haven't done thus far; focus on what you can do for your future.

Take a few college courses. Do something that gives you a sense of forward momentum. Find a therapist (very soon) that will help you and will (eventually) be able to help your marriage. On a daily basis, go to the gym. Take a jog around the neighborhood. Work off some aggression.

Big changes are simply the sum of small decisions.

[Craig]

Originally Posted by The Cripp

There. I said it.

And you said it well...

[DukeAllen]

I've been watching this thread all day...I don't have any solutions, I think NAV nailed it...and we're on your side. Without getting into details, I'll say I've had problems and therapy and even meds do help. Go get that pro help NOW!!

[69camfrk]

Without reading all the posts, Effexor XR has done wonders for me. Things that used to make me nut up in a second just don't bother me anymore. It takes a real man to realize they need some help! Whatever you do, I hope the outcome turns out well.

[Milton Fox]

At the end of everything that you will do - or what happens - it all comes down to the choice you make about it. You are choosing to get mad or angry - dont.

[Chuck A]

try taking the NY subway, from the loud music playing, fighting, eating and throwing trah on the floor, to taking 3 seats, to people that stink , to rats on train, etc etc etc, and lately my train has been going local for the past 2 weeks so a train ride thats supposed to take 1/2 hour takes a hour, yea stress really SUCKS!!!!

[Aerovette]

I have a very bad habit of forgetting that I am talking to far more people than those that have posted. I forget that this is the www sometimes and that I am airing dirty laundry for the world. I do plan to take everyone's input into consideration. I'll be a work in progress for a while I guess. Thank you all.

When I was a bachelor, I never had to address this stuff. I mean I would work on my car and bust a knuckle and a wrench would fly or a door would slam and it never impacted anyone else so I never had any reason to actually evaluate my actions. Now that there is someone with me 24/7 seeing my every move for the last 7 plus years, I guess I am realizing (yeah, I am slow sometimes) that it is doing damage. I always reset to zero (or 9 in my case) after an outburst, but she doesn't see that. She only knows that I lost my chit again over something small like dropping a light bulb or not being able to find something I just used two minutes ago. I keep it together for a few minutes but I can feel the boil and it is out on display before I know it. It sucks to learn you are not the perfect person you want to be.

[Chuck A]

I would love to smoke a joint but since being a supervisor on both my jobs and while i really loved to a couple puffs of the weed would help 1000%, why are you not taking puffs, soon it will become legal, i cant wait, need to take the edge off