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Off Topic Off Topic - General non-Corvette related discussion. |
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03-11-2014, 9:55pm | #81 | ||||||
Goldilocks
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Absolutely irrelevant when we're talking about a 26 year old adult. We're not talking about a 26 year old who fell on hard times here.
Enabling a kid with a place to live and a used car when she walked away from her source of income of her own volition? This is EXACTLY the kind of thing you detest for crying out loud. Suddenly it's OK because it falls under the parental love/compassion umbrella? A capable 26 year old adult with a law degree? Chad. Really? |
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03-11-2014, 9:55pm | #82 | ||||||
Sparkles Flambeaux
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03-11-2014, 10:00pm | #83 | |||||||
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Also don't confuse my views on society's responsibilities, for my views on family. Two very different things. |
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03-11-2014, 10:00pm | #84 | ||||||
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Me too, and I'm only 7 years older than Spence's daughter.
My brother and I have had to pay my mom's mortgage on more than one occasion. Will probably end up happening again soon based on recent conversations. Back to Spence, I'd be inclined to send her out in the world if that's what she wants to do. Sign over the house to her. Give her the financial responsibility since she doesn't want what you've set up for her. Let her push the rock up the hill. |
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03-11-2014, 10:04pm | #85 | ||||||||
Goldilocks
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03-11-2014, 10:09pm | #86 | |||||||
Moderatrix
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Time to sell the house. Offer her the ability to rent a bedroom in your home. She can help with the utility and grocery expenses, etc. As disappointing as it it that she will not take over your practice, I think that ship has most definitely sailed. At this point, knowing that her heart is not in it, would you really want her to take it over? However, it's not unreasonable for you to expect that she find something that she enjoys doing, that will make her degree at least somewhat useful. Flat out, tell her that hostessing/waitressing and babysitting is not something you will finance. And believe me, when her mortgage payment comes due and she's only making $10/hr, you will be jumping in to bail her out. Time for some tough love. You've done what you needed to do. She's living her own life and making her own decisions. The decisions she has made put you in a very precarious situation, with the house being in your name. Make it clear that you're not doing this as retribution for her not wanting to take over your practice. You respect her decision. You are, however, protecting your assets by ensuring that the mortgage will be paid. Babysitting and waitressing are not stable forms of income. I highly doubt that you would rent that house to a stranger, if they told you they babysit for a living. If she thinks she can keep up the mortgage payments on the house, let her buy it from you. |
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03-11-2014, 10:10pm | #87 | |||||||
Goldilocks
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Regardless, good discussion. |
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03-11-2014, 10:12pm | #88 | ||||||
Sparkles Flambeaux
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Paging seasix....
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03-11-2014, 10:18pm | #89 | ||||||
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03-11-2014, 10:19pm | #90 | |||||||
Moderatrix
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How about some appreciation? That doesn't mean she has to follow the career path he wants for her, but let's be freakin' realistic here. Are you really trying to tell me that there's no disrespect there? That's the epitome of disrespect and disregard. |
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03-11-2014, 10:21pm | #91 | ||||||
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03-11-2014, 10:21pm | #92 | |||||||
Sparkles Flambeaux
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Jobs are out there. Chase them down. |
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03-11-2014, 10:24pm | #93 | ||||||
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So what kind of severance package did she get?
More to the story than we have heard - I believe. Did she have a contract with you for any of the things you mentioned? |
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03-11-2014, 10:30pm | #94 | |||||||
Moderatrix
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If she just needs some time to decompress from the rigors of school and the BAR, that's one thing. By that's not what she said. In fact, she's already sat down to try and figure out how she can simply 'get by' on babysitting and hostessing. In her mind, she already knows that Spence won't let that mortgage go unpaid. I think most of us would be devastated if we put our kids thru law school and heard of their plans to barely scrape by. You don't have to take on the career that I wanted for you, but for feck's sake...give me SOMETHING here. What's plan B? And don't say it's babysitting. |
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03-11-2014, 10:39pm | #95 | ||||||
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she won't see the truth and reality, no matter how hard you try.
You did the best you could to guide her. Just the way it is. In time, she will realize that she is making so very poor decisions. No sense in trying to make her see that now. FUTILE! Sorry Larry, you are a good guy. Just let her make her mistakes. As difficult as it is to watch. I believe she will have a wakeup call. Try not to let it affect you in the meantime. And as NAV said, she need to find APPRECIATION herself. Trying to tell/show her will be a waste of the best intentions. |
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03-11-2014, 10:46pm | #96 | ||||||
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NAV, you've shared your history here; we know the opportunities you had to make for yourself.
This situation has something else going on, there's a different motivation here than what you're used to, not positive what it is, but... |
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03-11-2014, 10:51pm | #97 | |||||||
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03-11-2014, 10:54pm | #98 | |||||||
Moderatrix
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If she wants to take a break from law and feel out her options, she needs to find a job that has stable income until she's made a decision. She's already planned/figured out what is the bare minimum (financially) to cover her bills. That's not what a parent wants to hear, especially a parent who has financed a home in their own name for said child. When someone has financed a home for you - in their name - the least one can do is nail down a temp job that is guaranteed cover the bills without fluctuation. That just seems like common courtesy, not to mention common sense. You need time to figure out your career path? Fine. But there are still obligations and financial responsibilities that need to be met. Bare minimum doesn't cut it. If she refuses to take on employment that has some stability, I don't think it's unreasonable for Spence to sell the house. Let her buy it, if she thinks babysitting and waitressing will qualify her. |
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03-11-2014, 11:02pm | #99 | |||||||
Moderatrix
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I'll bet her mom knows. Spence, what kind of relationship does your daughter have with her mom? No offense, but daughters tend to share things with their mothers, more so than with their fathers. Maybe it's time to give her mom a call and ask her what may be going on. You never know. |
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03-11-2014, 11:15pm | #100 | ||||||
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My take on her situation may be off track, but here it is: she is experiencing the "fight or flight response". She is running away from failure, which I doubt she has ever experienced. If I recall correctly you were planning on having your daughter work with you for two years and then taking over your practice. My gut reaction when I read that was that it is too much too fast. You just can't learn something complex that quickly. With your experience, you know what somebody in court or a deposition is going to say before they say it. You know what the opposition is going to do before they think of it themselves. That is what you call the "art" of your profession. She is used to school, where they teach you stuff and you memorize it and pass a test. It takes time, certainly more than five months to learn to think on your feet and react correctly, especially legal shit. She sees it as impossible to step into your shoes so soon, so why fail, it is easier to fold and run away from it.
The disrespect and let her go it on her own posts may be spot on, but they don't solve the true problem. She is running from failure. |
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