Choose your color scheme:
The Vette Barn  
 
Go Back   The Vette Barn > Off Topic/Babes/Other > Off Topic

Off Topic Off Topic - General non-Corvette related discussion.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Share Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-11-2014, 9:55pm   #81
Giraffe (He/Him)
Goldilocks
Barn Stall Owner #905

Bantayan Kids '13,'15
Points: 110,529, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
 
Giraffe (He/Him)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: My butt's been wiped.
Posts: 30,980
Thanks: 5,226
Thanked 16,607 Times in 7,133 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1009320
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vetteman9368 View Post
I think parental love/compassion overtake that.
Absolutely irrelevant when we're talking about a 26 year old adult. We're not talking about a 26 year old who fell on hard times here.

Enabling a kid with a place to live and a used car when she walked away from her source of income of her own volition? This is EXACTLY the kind of thing you detest for crying out loud. Suddenly it's OK because it falls under the parental love/compassion umbrella? A capable 26 year old adult with a law degree?

Chad. Really?
Giraffe (He/Him) is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 9:55pm   #82
DAB
Sparkles Flambeaux
Barn Stall Owner #4
Barn Raising I,II
NCM Supporter '13,'14,'15,'16,'17,'21
Bantayan Kids '13,'14,'15,'17
Points: 171,375, Level: 100
Activity: 7.2%
 
DAB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 61,433
Thanks: 11,767
Thanked 32,997 Times in 14,148 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $17500122
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TxAg View Post
Some folks just enjoy working.
Everything I like to do doesn't pay much.
DAB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:00pm   #83
vetteman9368
Barn Raising III
Points: 20,308, Level: 98
Activity: 1.8%
 
vetteman9368's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,515
Thanks: 3,105
Thanked 2,179 Times in 966 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1120967
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post
Absolutely irrelevant when we're talking about a 26 year old adult. We're not talking about a 26 year old who fell on hard times here.

Enabling a kid with a place to live and a used car when she walked away from her source of income of her own volition? This is EXACTLY the kind of thing you detest for crying out loud. Suddenly it's OK because it falls under the parental love/compassion umbrella? A capable 26 year old adult with a law degree?

Chad. Really?
I'm saying I wouldn't fault him for that, and I don't have a 26 yr old to draw an exact parallel. I certainly wouldn't give a room long term, and I'm sure she traded something in on the car she has now. I think selling her car and getting something comparable to what she had is fair, then let her go get gas and insurance.

Also don't confuse my views on society's responsibilities, for my views on family. Two very different things.
vetteman9368 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:00pm   #84
Entropy
Fantasy Football Champ '12
Points: 26,770, Level: 100
Activity: 0.7%
 
Entropy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
Posts: 6,234
Thanks: 742
Thanked 1,264 Times in 766 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $90918
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post
This is so far outside my orbit I can't even BEGIN to tell you.
Me too, and I'm only 7 years older than Spence's daughter.

My brother and I have had to pay my mom's mortgage on more than one occasion. Will probably end up happening again soon based on recent conversations.

Back to Spence, I'd be inclined to send her out in the world if that's what she wants to do. Sign over the house to her. Give her the financial responsibility since she doesn't want what you've set up for her. Let her push the rock up the hill.
Entropy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:04pm   #85
Giraffe (He/Him)
Goldilocks
Barn Stall Owner #905

Bantayan Kids '13,'15
Points: 110,529, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
 
Giraffe (He/Him)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: My butt's been wiped.
Posts: 30,980
Thanks: 5,226
Thanked 16,607 Times in 7,133 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1009320
Default

Quote:
As I commented before, at least she wants to keep working in come capacity and not just expect a 100% free ride from dear old dad while she "finds herself".
Would you be OK with this arrangement?
Quote:
I wouldn't leave her homeless and without wheels, but giving her a used car and a bedroom at the house would be more fitting to the lifestyle she intends to lead by babysitting and waitressing.
Providing a home/room and wheels to a 26 year old with a law degree who walked away from her job?
Giraffe (He/Him) is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:09pm   #86
NEED-A-VETTE
Moderatrix
Barn Stall Owner #109
BR Organizer II,III,IV

NCM Supporter '17
Bantayan Kids '13,'15,'17
Points: 119,150, Level: 100
Activity: 12.6%
 
NEED-A-VETTE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Your not a good moderator either, V-A-G. Honestly I find it kind of funny.
Posts: 22,081
Thanks: 10,645
Thanked 18,112 Times in 5,348 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9966256
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lspencer534 View Post
She does have bills to pay: House (I bought but she's responsible for the payments), car, utilities, insurance, etc. I am not paying them. If she's going to lose her house, I of course will pony up, but only because the loan is in my name, and I hold the mortgage on her house. I hope it doesn't come to that.
I missed this part the first time around.

Time to sell the house. Offer her the ability to rent a bedroom in your home. She can help with the utility and grocery expenses, etc.

As disappointing as it it that she will not take over your practice, I think that ship has most definitely sailed. At this point, knowing that her heart is not in it, would you really want her to take it over?

However, it's not unreasonable for you to expect that she find something that she enjoys doing, that will make her degree at least somewhat useful. Flat out, tell her that hostessing/waitressing and babysitting is not something you will finance. And believe me, when her mortgage payment comes due and she's only making $10/hr, you will be jumping in to bail her out.

Time for some tough love. You've done what you needed to do. She's living her own life and making her own decisions. The decisions she has made put you in a very precarious situation, with the house being in your name.

Make it clear that you're not doing this as retribution for her not wanting to take over your practice. You respect her decision. You are, however, protecting your assets by ensuring that the mortgage will be paid. Babysitting and waitressing are not stable forms of income. I highly doubt that you would rent that house to a stranger, if they told you they babysit for a living.

If she thinks she can keep up the mortgage payments on the house, let her buy it from you.
NEED-A-VETTE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:10pm   #87
Giraffe (He/Him)
Goldilocks
Barn Stall Owner #905

Bantayan Kids '13,'15
Points: 110,529, Level: 100
Activity: 0%
 
Giraffe (He/Him)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: My butt's been wiped.
Posts: 30,980
Thanks: 5,226
Thanked 16,607 Times in 7,133 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1009320
Default

Quote:
Also don't confuse my views on society's responsibilities, for my views on family. Two very different things.
So someone else enabling (Providing a place to live and a vehicle to a 26 year old with a law degree who just decided 'piss on this' is enabling in my world) their 26 year old is taboo, but enabling your own isn't? Not tracking with your logic here. The society you and I live in all start's in the home IMHO. You can attempt to separate them, but I don't see how.

Regardless, good discussion.
Giraffe (He/Him) is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:12pm   #88
DAB
Sparkles Flambeaux
Barn Stall Owner #4
Barn Raising I,II
NCM Supporter '13,'14,'15,'16,'17,'21
Bantayan Kids '13,'14,'15,'17
Points: 171,375, Level: 100
Activity: 7.2%
 
DAB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 61,433
Thanks: 11,767
Thanked 32,997 Times in 14,148 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $17500122
Default

Paging seasix....
DAB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:18pm   #89
Grey Ghost
A Real Barner
Points: 47,736, Level: 100
Activity: 0.4%
 
Grey Ghost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: GA
Posts: 19,015
Thanks: 9,674
Thanked 7,050 Times in 3,110 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $46272
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NEED-A-VETTE View Post
What's her motivation to do better than waitressing or babysitting?
I doubt law school and passing the BAR was a cake walk. Surely she had some motivation during those times.
Grey Ghost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:19pm   #90
NEED-A-VETTE
Moderatrix
Barn Stall Owner #109
BR Organizer II,III,IV

NCM Supporter '17
Bantayan Kids '13,'15,'17
Points: 119,150, Level: 100
Activity: 12.6%
 
NEED-A-VETTE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Your not a good moderator either, V-A-G. Honestly I find it kind of funny.
Posts: 22,081
Thanks: 10,645
Thanked 18,112 Times in 5,348 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9966256
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TxAg View Post
As I commented before, at least she wants to keep working in come capacity and not just expect a 100% free ride from dear old dad while she "finds herself".

If she did that, then I could see some real deep disrespect towards him.
Spence finances her college education completely. She then decides to waitress and babysit, rather than find something she enjoys, that falls within the scope of her degree. No discussion. No compromise. It's a 26-year old that's going to babysit for a living, after her father shelled out hundreds of thousands of dollars for her education. And financed a house for her to live in.

How about some appreciation? That doesn't mean she has to follow the career path he wants for her, but let's be freakin' realistic here.

Are you really trying to tell me that there's no disrespect there? That's the epitome of disrespect and disregard.
NEED-A-VETTE is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NEED-A-VETTE For This Useful Post:
Old 03-11-2014, 10:21pm   #91
Sea Six
Barn Stall Owner #16A
Barn Stall Owner #16B

NCM Supporter '11,'13
Bantayan Kids '13
Points: 173,417, Level: 100
Activity: 4.3%
 
Sea Six's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NW FL
Posts: 50,566
Thanks: 10,131
Thanked 13,004 Times in 7,316 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $602908
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DAB View Post
Paging seasix....
Psst... it's still Page 1.



















Heyyyyyy... WAIDDAMINNIT......


Sea Six is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:21pm   #92
DAB
Sparkles Flambeaux
Barn Stall Owner #4
Barn Raising I,II
NCM Supporter '13,'14,'15,'16,'17,'21
Bantayan Kids '13,'14,'15,'17
Points: 171,375, Level: 100
Activity: 7.2%
 
DAB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 61,433
Thanks: 11,767
Thanked 32,997 Times in 14,148 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $17500122
Default

Quote:
Employers face a greater challenge filling some positions than others. Businesses hiring in 2014 said the areas in which they are experiencing the most difficulty in filling open positions are:

Computer and Mathematical Occupations
Architecture and Engineering Occupations
Management Occupations
Health Care Practitioners and Technical Occupations
Installation, Maintenance and Repair Occupations
Legal Occupations
Business and Financial Operations
Personal Care and Services Occupations
Sales and Related Occupations
Production Occupations
10 Jobs Employers Are Having Trouble Filling

Jobs are out there. Chase them down.

DAB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:24pm   #93
Milton Fox
Barn Stall Owner #1953
NCM Supporter '11
Points: 21,548, Level: 100
Activity: 0.8%
 
Milton Fox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Where ever I go, there I am!
Posts: 9,092
Thanks: 3,237
Thanked 2,413 Times in 1,426 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $11047219
Default

So what kind of severance package did she get?

More to the story than we have heard - I believe. Did she have a contract with you for any of the things you mentioned?
Milton Fox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:30pm   #94
NEED-A-VETTE
Moderatrix
Barn Stall Owner #109
BR Organizer II,III,IV

NCM Supporter '17
Bantayan Kids '13,'15,'17
Points: 119,150, Level: 100
Activity: 12.6%
 
NEED-A-VETTE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Your not a good moderator either, V-A-G. Honestly I find it kind of funny.
Posts: 22,081
Thanks: 10,645
Thanked 18,112 Times in 5,348 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9966256
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grey Ghost View Post
I doubt law school and passing the BAR was a cake walk. Surely she had some motivation during those times.
So, since she had motivation in the past, she ceases to need it for her future? I'm sure that getting thru law school and passing the BAR was tough. And? Now what?

If she just needs some time to decompress from the rigors of school and the BAR, that's one thing. By that's not what she said. In fact, she's already sat down to try and figure out how she can simply 'get by' on babysitting and hostessing. In her mind, she already knows that Spence won't let that mortgage go unpaid.

I think most of us would be devastated if we put our kids thru law school and heard of their plans to barely scrape by. You don't have to take on the career that I wanted for you, but for feck's sake...give me SOMETHING here. What's plan B? And don't say it's babysitting.
NEED-A-VETTE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:39pm   #95
theriver
A Real Barner
Points: 16,781, Level: 89
Activity: 3.4%
 
theriver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: West Cent. FL
Posts: 3,266
Thanks: 1,041
Thanked 632 Times in 336 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $212968
Default

she won't see the truth and reality, no matter how hard you try.
You did the best you could to guide her.
Just the way it is. In time, she will realize that she is making so very poor decisions. No sense in trying to make her see that now. FUTILE!
Sorry Larry, you are a good guy. Just let her make her mistakes. As difficult as it is to watch.
I believe she will have a wakeup call. Try not to let it affect you in the meantime.
And as NAV said, she need to find APPRECIATION herself. Trying to tell/show her will be a waste of the best intentions.
theriver is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to theriver For This Useful Post:
Old 03-11-2014, 10:46pm   #96
Craig
Bantayan Kids '13,'15
Points: 27,897, Level: 100
Activity: 5.2%
 
Craig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: (nor/mal)
Posts: 8,970
Thanks: 1,224
Thanked 3,551 Times in 1,953 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1037769
Default

NAV, you've shared your history here; we know the opportunities you had to make for yourself.

This situation has something else going on, there's a different motivation here than what you're used to, not positive what it is, but...
Craig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:51pm   #97
Grey Ghost
A Real Barner
Points: 47,736, Level: 100
Activity: 0.4%
 
Grey Ghost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: GA
Posts: 19,015
Thanks: 9,674
Thanked 7,050 Times in 3,110 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $46272
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NEED-A-VETTE View Post
So, since she had motivation in the past, she ceases to need it for her future? I'm sure that getting thru law school and passing the BAR was tough. And? Now what?

If she just needs some time to decompress from the rigors of school and the BAR, that's one thing. By that's not what she said. In fact, she's already sat down to try and figure out how she can simply 'get by' on babysitting and hostessing. In her mind, she already knows that Spence won't let that mortgage go unpaid.

I think most of us would be devastated if we put our kids thru law school and heard of their plans to barely scrape by. You don't have to take on the career that I wanted for you, but for feck's sake...give me SOMETHING here. What's plan B? And don't say it's babysitting.
It's east coast bedtime now that you are fired up. You will just have to hold your horses for anymore
Grey Ghost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 10:54pm   #98
NEED-A-VETTE
Moderatrix
Barn Stall Owner #109
BR Organizer II,III,IV

NCM Supporter '17
Bantayan Kids '13,'15,'17
Points: 119,150, Level: 100
Activity: 12.6%
 
NEED-A-VETTE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Your not a good moderator either, V-A-G. Honestly I find it kind of funny.
Posts: 22,081
Thanks: 10,645
Thanked 18,112 Times in 5,348 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9966256
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by American Made View Post
That's tough love Gambino style!! What if she is more talented at something else? Back again to trusting your influence/upbringing in your child and trusting their choices. The law degree will not go to waste whatever she does imo.
She absolutely needs to find something she enjoys within the scope of her degree. There are lots of opportunities and it's the right thing to do. But to stand in front of the person that dropped half a mil on your law degree and tell them you'll babysit and waitress because law is too hard? Not cool.

If she wants to take a break from law and feel out her options, she needs to find a job that has stable income until she's made a decision. She's already planned/figured out what is the bare minimum (financially) to cover her bills. That's not what a parent wants to hear, especially a parent who has financed a home in their own name for said child.

When someone has financed a home for you - in their name - the least one can do is nail down a temp job that is guaranteed cover the bills without fluctuation. That just seems like common courtesy, not to mention common sense.

You need time to figure out your career path? Fine. But there are still obligations and financial responsibilities that need to be met. Bare minimum doesn't cut it.

If she refuses to take on employment that has some stability, I don't think it's unreasonable for Spence to sell the house. Let her buy it, if she thinks babysitting and waitressing will qualify her.
NEED-A-VETTE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 11:02pm   #99
NEED-A-VETTE
Moderatrix
Barn Stall Owner #109
BR Organizer II,III,IV

NCM Supporter '17
Bantayan Kids '13,'15,'17
Points: 119,150, Level: 100
Activity: 12.6%
 
NEED-A-VETTE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Your not a good moderator either, V-A-G. Honestly I find it kind of funny.
Posts: 22,081
Thanks: 10,645
Thanked 18,112 Times in 5,348 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $9966256
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Craig View Post
NAV, you've shared your history here; we know the opportunities you had to make for yourself.

This situation has something else going on, there's a different motivation here than what you're used to, not positive what it is, but...
I agree.

I'll bet her mom knows.

Spence, what kind of relationship does your daughter have with her mom? No offense, but daughters tend to share things with their mothers, more so than with their fathers. Maybe it's time to give her mom a call and ask her what may be going on. You never know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grey Ghost View Post
It's east coast bedtime now that you are fired up. You will just have to hold your horses for anymore
NEED-A-VETTE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2014, 11:15pm   #100
Millenium Vette
Barn Stall Owner #101
GTMS ‘18
Points: 21,990, Level: 100
Activity: 6.1%
 
Millenium Vette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 14,408
Thanks: 10,086
Thanked 2,667 Times in 1,533 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $6269655
Default

My take on her situation may be off track, but here it is: she is experiencing the "fight or flight response". She is running away from failure, which I doubt she has ever experienced. If I recall correctly you were planning on having your daughter work with you for two years and then taking over your practice. My gut reaction when I read that was that it is too much too fast. You just can't learn something complex that quickly. With your experience, you know what somebody in court or a deposition is going to say before they say it. You know what the opposition is going to do before they think of it themselves. That is what you call the "art" of your profession. She is used to school, where they teach you stuff and you memorize it and pass a test. It takes time, certainly more than five months to learn to think on your feet and react correctly, especially legal shit. She sees it as impossible to step into your shoes so soon, so why fail, it is easier to fold and run away from it.

The disrespect and let her go it on her own posts may be spot on, but they don't solve the true problem. She is running from failure.
Millenium Vette is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

The Vette Barn > Off Topic/Babes/Other > Off Topic


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 7:18am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright © 2009 - 2024 The Vette Barn


Support the Barn:
 
Download the Mobile App;
 
Follow us on Facebook:

Become a Stall Owner

 

Apple iOS App        Google Android App

 

Visit our Facebook page