I need your advice, folks...

[lspencer534]

Some of you may remember that my daughter graduated from law school last year, passed the bar exam in September, and joined my firm on Oct. 2. I had planned on retiring in 2 years and give my law practice to her. Now, 5 months later, she has quit.

She says that law is "too hard, too complicated, boring, and that I'm giving her contradictory instructions and too much work to do and that I'll never be a good lawyer." To help you gain the mindset of a lawyer, the "contradictory instructions" stem from my telling her what to do in a case, but saying something different in another case that appears identical. That's because law is an art more than a science; you sometimes want 1 + 1 to equal 3 instead of 2. There are subtle nuances in cases.

She now says that she hates the law and wants to do something else. "Like what?", I asked. "I don't know," is the reply. "How will you make a living?". "I don't know. I don't need much money. I could go back to baby sitting and as a hostess for a restaurant."

WTF? I'm giving her the opportunity for financial security the rest of her life. In a few years she will know how to practice law. Seems very stuoid financially to me, but we're of separate generations. I consider myself lucky to have a job that I don't absolutely hate going to every day...and I think most people feel like that. Maybe not, though.

I'm at a loss. I feel deeply disappointed in my daughter. Maybe I should be disappointed in myself. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I'm reasonable, don't have a temper, I'm easy to work with, and I know what I'm doing as a lawyer. It is a rough business, however. My daughter has a good mind, she's a hard worker, is smart, and honest. Perhaps it's a personality clash, but there's never been one before.

There it is. Any comments? My reaction for tonight is to have a couple more drinks and go to bed.

[Sea Six]

Pics of daughter?

[Jeff '79]

Originally Posted by Sea Six

Pics of daughter?

This is serious azzhole!!

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by Sea Six

Pics of daughter?

You've already seen pics of her...and you probably use them every night....

[DAB]

You appreciate something you worked for more than something you are given.

An education is never a waste.

Her heart isn't in it. But yours is.

Let her go. You gave her an opportunity. That's all you can do.

If she is to stand on her own, she can't do it leaning on crutches.

You're a good dad. She just sees life differently.

[Sea Six]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

You've already seen pics of her...and you probably use them every night....

Yeah, but I've got a head injury. I forgot what she looks like.

[Jeff '79]

She wants to move?

https://www.thevettebarn.com/forums/o...or-spence.html

[Blademaker]

Originally Posted by DAB

You appreciate something you worked for more than something you are given.

An education is never a waste.

Her heart isn't in it. But yours is.

Let her go. You gave her an opportunity. That's all you can do.

I'd she is to stand on her own, she can't do it leaning on crutches.

You're a good dad. She just sees life differently.

This

[Ruffy]

1) Was her law school free? I doubt she can pay that with babysitting. Maybe you just paid her too much.

2) How did she get through law school if she thinks actually practicing law is too hard?

3) Is this typical for her personality?

4) Seriously 5 months? Did one particular case push her over the cliff?

5) Make her read this thread https://www.thevettebarn.com/forums/o...36-gypsys.html

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by DAB

You appreciate something you worked for more than something you are given.

An education is never a waste.

Her heart isn't in it. But yours is.

Let her go. You gave her an opportunity. That's all you can do.

I'd she is to stand on her own, she can't do it leaning on crutches.

You're a good dad. She just sees life differently.

That's probably the best advice I'll ever hear. Thank you.

[...Whitepower...]

Give it time.. Let her realize on her own how good she has it and how much her friends are struggling financially and I would think her viewpoint would change.

That said, Your dreams and aspirations for your kid may not be her dreams. Don't force her into something she has no desire to do because she will just hate you for it..

Good luck. Sucks to be you.

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by Ruffy

1) Was her law school free? I doubt she can pay that with babysitting. Maybe you just paid her too much.

2) How did she get through law school if she thinks actually practicing law is too hard?

3) Is this typical for her personality?

4) Seriously 5 months? Did one particular case push her over the cliff?

5) Make her read this thread https://www.thevettebarn.com/forums/o...36-gypsys.html

I'm paying for her education. I don't know WTF she thought about how easy practicing law is because she did well in law school. Not typical at all for her. I don't think it was any one case; she was just having trouble grasping what the nuances are. She wanted "The Answer", and there rarely is one in law.

[Jeff '79]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

I'm paying for her education. I don't know WTF she thought about how easy practicing law is because she did well in law school. Not typical at all for her. I don't think it was any one case; she was just having trouble grasping what the nuances are. She wanted "The Answer", and there rarely is one in law.

Did you learn her how to drink?
All lawyers drink.
That could be her problem right there.


God, I shudder to think how I'd if my daughter said she didn't want to still be a doctor.
All that time and money invested...

That's a tough one Spence.

[99 pewtercoupe]

Sorry to hear this. I know you were looking forward to working with her and having her eventually take over your practice.

Since I have never been a parent I'm afraid I don't have any sage advice in this circumstance. If you were talking cats, then I could offer suggestions

[DAB]

My college education in engineering was way different from my paid work doing engineering.

I did it, but didn't always love it.

[Grey Ghost]

Did you nudge her into that career path? Let her live her life and enjoy doing whatever she wants to do.

What happened with her military officer fiancee or boyfriend?

I've worked for several small family owned business. It is a huge strain for everyone around - the family, other employees, customers, etc...I have never witnessed a good example of a family biz. Best to keep them separate for all that I have witnessed.

My first cousin is a lawyer for the DOJ. Would your daughter like the gov. route? Less money, but, she has time flexibility, benefits, etc...other things she said she wouldn't have with a private practice.

You grew up doing hard work. I grew up doing hard work. We can appreciate a career like you have. Like, DAB, said...it is different to work for something vs. handed to you. No offense to her.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

She's walking away after five months? Five months? Really?

Sorry, Spence, but this is disrespect at its worst.

If she said she was disinterested in the area of law that you practive, that would be one thing. But to just walk away? Like...meh, who cares? I'm done. No big deal.

She's not even attempting to use her education in a different capacity. Nope. She's just bailing. But from her perspective, its easy to walk away, as she hasn't made the financial investment (college and support) or the sacrifices (building a business) that you have.

I can understand her not wanting to do something she hates, but wtf? Make some compromises here. I didn't out you thru college so you could babysit and work at TGIFridays. Feck.

Honestly, I don't know what else to say. I know would be devastated if my child treated me in such a flippant way. Its total disrespect.

The best thing you can hope for is that time will straighten her out. Hopefully, she'll realize soon enough that babysitting and hostess work is not the adult world. When her friends start becoming more successful, earning more money, doing fun things, taking trips, raising families, etc...she may get her $h!t together.

In the meantime, she can support herself financially. 100% herself.

EDIT: How old is she, anyhow?

[Ruffy]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

I'm paying for her education.

I am not a parent. So I have no dog in this fight. The following statement is pretty harsh so take it for what it is...an opinion...and everybody's got one...




I would like to believe that if this happened to me, the checks would stop being written. Since she has no bills to pay, there are no consequences for her actions. If she put her big girl pants on and joined the real world, she wouldn't be quite so quick to dismiss attorney-dom and go back to what doesn't even take a high school diploma.

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by Grey Ghost

Did you nudge her into that career path? Let her live her life and enjoy doing whatever she wants to do.

What happened with her military officer fiancee or boyfriend?

I've worked for several small family owned business. It is a huge strain for everyone around - the family, other employees, customers, etc...I have never witnessed a good example of a family biz. Best to keep them separate for all that I have witnessed.

My first cousin is a lawyer for the DOJ. Would your daughter like the gov. route? Less money, but, she has time flexibility, benefits, etc...other things she said she wouldn't have with a private practice.

You grew up doing hard work. I grew up doing hard work. We can appreciate a career like you have. Like, DAB, said...it is different to work for something vs. handed to you. No offense to her.

No, I had nothing to do with her career path...that I know of, anyway. Her last year of college she told me she had decided to go to law school. It cams as a surprise to me. She did well in law school and seemed to like it.

BF is still here, going to college to get a degree...but still wants to be a cop. Admirable, but not much money. From what she says she wants nothing to do with law, even A DOJ job.

[DukeAllen]

Originally Posted by Jeff '79

This is serious azzhole!!

Pics of her a....nevermind