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Old 12-04-2021, 1:38pm   #1
DAB
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Default Rectum? Damn near killed him

https://www.yahoo.com/news/bomb-squa...100800683.html

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A man presented at an emergency room in Gloucester, England, with a "munition in his rectum," police say.

Doctors removed the World War II artillery shell from inside of him.

Bomb disposal experts confirmed that the shell was "not live," per a police statement.

Bomb disposal experts were called to a hospital in Gloucester, England after a man told doctors that there was a World War II anti-tank shell lodged inside of him, authorities said.

The Explosive Ordnance Disposal team (EOD) arrived at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital on Wednesday morning after hearing that "a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum," a spokesperson for Gloucestershire Constabulary told Insider.

The item had already been removed by doctors by the time the bomb squad arrived, the spokesperson added, and the EOD confirmed that the shell was "not live" and "therefore not a danger to the public."

The Sun was first to report that the unnamed patient told doctors at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital that he "slipped and fell" on the two-inch-wide artillery shell.

The media outlet reported that the shell was part of his military memorabilia collection.

In a statement sent to Insider, Gloucestershire Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust said: "As with any incident involving munitions, the relevant safety protocols were followed to ensure that there was no risk to patients, staff, or visitors at any time."

The British newspaper Metro reported that procedures to remove objects from patients' rectums cost the National Health Service (NHS) around £340,000 ($450,000) a year.
where's the boom? where's the earth shattering boom?!
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Old 12-04-2021, 2:03pm   #2
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Trying to break Gozar's record
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Old 12-04-2021, 2:05pm   #3
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So much potential here...

$450k???? Knooger would do it pro bono!
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Old 12-04-2021, 2:06pm   #4
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Has anyone heard from Porter today?
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Old 12-04-2021, 2:06pm   #5
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Higgy, stop! They'll still get a bowl game.
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Old 12-04-2021, 2:16pm   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DAB View Post
https://www.yahoo.com/news/bomb-squa...100800683.html



where's the boom? where's the earth shattering boom?!
*kaboom……….*kaboom
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Old 12-04-2021, 2:18pm   #7
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“ The girthy shell, which measured an impressive 17cm by 6cm, would have been fired from anti-tank guns during the war.”

Approximately 7”x 2 1/2” dildo, non flexible! lol 😂
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Old 12-04-2021, 2:28pm   #8
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"slipped and fell". Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
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Old 12-04-2021, 3:06pm   #9
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This, too, shall pass…
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Old 12-04-2021, 3:28pm   #10
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Business as usual in the world of perverted liberal lunacy.
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Old 12-04-2021, 4:24pm   #11
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I forget which "radio personality" I was listening to on my way to work years ago, but they were covering a story about a guy who said he "fell", and got a flashlight lodged in his ass so deep he had to go to the hospital to have it removed. The radio guy said something to the effect of: I could strip naked, and jump butt first into a vat full of flashlights a hundred times, and I doubt I would even get the slightest bit penetrated by one. It was funny as hell, mostly because it is true. :yesond:

Pro tip: If you don't shove anything up there, you won't get anything stuck up there. Ever.
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Old 12-04-2021, 9:31pm   #12
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Yeah, this guy was sitting around and thought "I bet shoving that tank shell up my ass would be great fun"


They ought to post his picture in all the local bars, with the caption "Come on! I can take it!"
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Old 12-04-2021, 9:39pm   #13
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Old 12-05-2021, 1:15am   #14
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...


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Old 12-05-2021, 7:47am   #15
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If that wasn't in england, I'd swear it was a US Marine who tried to launch a mortar out of his tube.
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Old 12-05-2021, 9:42am   #16
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Old 12-06-2021, 10:26am   #17
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English version of a dirty bomb?
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Old 01-12-2022, 2:26am   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZipZap View Post
Trying to break Gozar's record
Wait….. how did epic flatulence turn into actual munitions in my ass?

Wtf?
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Old 01-12-2022, 7:18pm   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gozar View Post
Wait….. how did epic flatulence turn into actual munitions in my ass?

Wtf?

Light a match along with it
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