Things to say to the Doctor before being put to sleep...

[lspencer534]

1. I looked the surgeon squarely in the eyes, and with a straight face I whispered, "I want you inside me."

2. I was being wheeled into emergency abdominal surgery once and my girlfriend was with me. We're rolling down the hall and they have the mask out to put me under and I pause and say to her "Don't let them touch my d*ck".

The nurse smirked a little and they put the mask on me. In somewhat of a panicked fashion, I pulled the mask off, stared up at my girlfriend, and with full weight and seriousness told her "hTey can look at it, but no touching". I heard the doctor laughing as the gas kicked in.

3. I once tried to say something funny right before surgery, they were about to put me out and I said, "Go easy on me doc, it's my first time."

I gave a little chuckle and so did the doctor... he then picked up a scalpel and said, "Don't worry, it's my first time too." And then I promptly blacked out…

4. Right before I went under to have surgery on my septum... I was about to start counting backwards before they put the mask on. I said, "Does anyone need anything while I'm out?"

5. "I tend to get aroused while under anesthesia, but it's fine, just tape it down if it gets in the way."

6. I had just woken up after having my shoulder worked on. I was in and out of consciousness for a bit and just generally feeling whacked out.

I guess I shifted in the bed and moved the blankets a bit and exposed myself as the nurse came in. She smiled and moved the blankets back.

I apparently told the nurse "You saw mine, do I get to see yours?

My wife was in the chair next to the bed.

7. "If I don't make it through this, tell my wife I want her to be buried alive with me."

8. When I had my wisdom teeth removed and was given general anaesthetic, I apparently said "If this is what being on drugs is like, sign me up."

He went and told on me to my mother.

9. Who's the guy with the scythe standing in the corner?

10. As they were pushing the drugs they asked me to count backwards from All I could say was, “No.” The room erupted in laughter and I was out.

11. "My twin owes me big time for this one."

12. Had to have a colonoscopy, so they gave me some medication and it was weird. Anyways, I was feeling silly and told him "First time doing anal on camera, and I'm not even getting paid."

13. "Thanks for doing this, there aren't many surgeons out there who would operate on someone without health insurance."

14. I was being put under for a wisdom tooth extraction a few years back, and it was the first time I've ever had anesthesia. They used injection method rather than gas, so they told me to watch the fluids going in so i could gauge when i'd feel sleepy. I had this idea that i would say something like "oh no, doc, i've lost my eyesight" or something else preposterous. Before i could collect my thoughts i just immediately blurted "well shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit" (my voice progressively getting lower) and passed out.

[snide]

[OddBall]

[OldSarge]

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by TxAg

I remember getting my wisdom teeth taken out in high school and they started injecting me with different things.

I turned to the nurse and said, "Which one knocks me out?"

She puts a needle in the tube and said, "This one."

My reply, "It doesn't seem to be wor........" and I was out.

Great story! When I had my wisdom teeth taken out, i told the oral surgeon that it usually takes a lot of anesthetic to dull the pain. After the shots he said, "Let me probe around to see if you feel anything." After a minute or so, I said, "I felt no pain. Go ahead and take them out."

He said, "I just did."

[StaticCling]

I actually woke up in the middle of my Wisdom Teeth extraction. I remember feeling terrible pain, and somebody banging on my jaw with a hammer or something. Then somebody said "Oh Shit, he's awake" and then I remember waking up in the recovery room. Not exactly a pleasant experience.

[OddBall]

Originally Posted by chinaski

I actually woke up in the middle of my Wisdom Teeth extraction. I remember feeling terrible pain, and somebody banging on my jaw with a hammer or something. Then somebody said "Oh Shit, he's awake" and then I remember waking up in the recovery room. Not exactly a pleasant experience.

It wasn't a hammer.

[JRD77VET]

When they were putting me under to rebuild my left knee ( patella graft to replace my torn in half ACL ) they gave me something to put me under.

I made some comment and the surgeon ( he didn't start yet ) said " You're still here?"

I said "Not by much" and started laughing a bit from being stoned out of my mind and the anesthesiologist chuckled a little bit and said "seeya"


I woke up in recovery

[Chuck A]

true life
i told the surgeon after he said he would remove my fingers due to they wouldnt be useful
told him reattach my fingers , then i went to sleep for more than 8 hours

[Black94lt1]

I remember having my wisdom teeth out, not sure if I said it out loud or just thought it, but I was awake but looped up and those teeth looked huge and gnarly and I thought "damn that must hurt"!

[NCC-1701]

[xXBUDXx]

Before every hip surgery I've had, they ask me to identify the correct hip by writing "yes" on it with a marker. Every time, I write "do not cut" in huge letters with an arrow pointing to my junk. Too bad I'm asleep when the joke plays out.

[RedLS1GTO]

When I had my first knee surgery they knocked my ass out. There was some issue with the heart monitor thingy as they were starting to inject the good stuff. All I heard was the constant sound that you hear in movies when the mofo flat lines (I have no clue if that actually happens or not in reality).

As I was getting hazy I remember saying "If I wake up dead, I'm going to be pissed...". According to the doctors, my next line to the hot nurse and last thing before I blacked out completely was "...but if I wake up with you giving me mouth to mouth, that would be good". I don't remember that part.