Wifey on plane to Assville, to pick up Elvis, BUT,,,

[Moond0ggie]

Run the upstairs bathroom sink faucet for 45 min. until it floods the floor & stains the downstairs ceiling ,
then you can say that you spent all your time on a plumbing repair & didnt have time for anything else .

[slewfoot]

No shots on this one.

I recall she is bringing back a puppy? Puppy proof the place. Get down on hands and knees and crawl around and look in and around and behind everything. Under the beds or couch.

Look for anything a puppy will grab and chew on, plant leaf, dirt wads, dust bunnies WIRES and so on.

If there is something around, damn dog will find it. Even outside.

[MadInNc]

Hire naked maids service when they are sure to be there when she comes home… she’ll never ask again👍



Edit: Make sure they are hot

[LisaJohn]

Well bless your little heart. It’s really simple. At a minimum the house should look like when she left. Do the dishes, a load of laundry, clean up your mess in the bathroom. Score a few extra points by doing some puppy prep.
You’re welcome.

[ricks327]

Originally Posted by The_Dude

You should be able to find young women on craigslist willing to clean your house

I did!!!!

[Onebadcad]

Originally Posted by Moond0ggie

Run the upstairs bathroom sink faucet for 45 min. until it floods the floor & stains the downstairs ceiling ,
then you can say that you spent all your time on a plumbing repair & didnt have time for anything else .

That could get very expensive, as entire upstairs is top-of-the-line laminate remnant substiture from china, I paid like $0.15/square yard, install included.

[Onebadcad]

Originally Posted by ricks327

I did!!!!


Attachment 99955

She would be picking headboard splinters out of her forehead for decades!!

[Onebadcad]

Originally Posted by slewfoot

No shots on this one.

I recall she is bringing back a puppy? Puppy proof the place. Get down on hands and knees and crawl around and look in and around and behind everything. Under the beds or couch.

Look for anything a puppy will grab and chew on, plant leaf, dirt wads, dust bunnies WIRES and so on.

If there is something around, damn dog will find it. Even outside.

This is puppy #3 I will be breaking-in in the past five years.

I am an expert:

1) just put them in the cage, cage is for maybe two months
2) cage will full spare bedroom in a month or so, we have fencing system
3) always close door, especially with Ringo and Dolly trying to jailbreak
4) let them cry, and complain, no interruptions to potty and peepee training
5) at about 9 months all should be good, reward with new sleeping accomodations in the master suite

BIG PROBLEM, this would put THREE dogs on our bed, I think I may be sleeping in one of the spare rooms

[Millenium Vette]

Originally Posted by Onebadcad

,,, she told me to clean up the house before she gets back tomorrow.

WTF does that mean, I am unsure, do I hire a cleaning service, or leave my clothes on the island stools.

Biggest mess is Ringo's and Dolly's toys strewn all over, adds character to our abode.

Need some sage wisdom here,,,

No idea. Shit, I ain't vacuumed in 5 years and throw my empty beer cans into the unused family room. Probably wouldn't work out so well if I didn't live alone.

[Ronins2ndCuzzin]

Treat this situation like I would...

I treat everyone as I wish to be treated, therefore I never make a mess in my own home, and if I do, I clean it up. Therefore NONE of the remaining mess is mine to clean up. I'd clean the things I use (if I felt like they were dirty) and nothing more.

If she gives you shit for not cleaning up after her, then grab a large trash bag and anything not in in the place it should be gets tossed out. And I mean anything, dishes, cups, clothes, papers, etc. I guarantee you she'll NEVER ask you to clean up after her again.

[Onebadcad]

Originally Posted by Millenium Vette

No idea. Shit, I ain't vacuumed in 5 years and throw my empty beer cans into the unused family room. Probably wouldn't work out so well if I didn't live alone.

BALLER DELUXE!!

[Onebadcad]

Originally Posted by Ronins2ndCuzzin

Treat this situation like I would...

I treat everyone as I wish to be treated, therefore I never make a mess in my own home, and if I do, I clean it up. Therefore NONE of the remaining mess is mine to clean up. I'd clean the things I use (if I felt like they were dirty) and nothing more.

If she gives you shit for not cleaning up after her, then grab a large trash bag and anything not in in the place it should be gets tossed out. And I mean anything, dishes, cups, clothes, papers, etc. I guarantee you she'll NEVER ask you to clean up after her again.

HARDARSE DELUXE!!

[Onebadcad]

NEVER EVER EVER FLY ALLEGIANT AIRLINES, THEY BLOW CHUNKS!!

Wife had few options from FLL, allegiant was direct, only one flight daily, flew up yesterday, was supposed to be back at 2:30 PM today.
Weather delays CLAIMED, she will now be arriving around 8:00 PM.

Me thinks she will be so damn mad about the 5+ hours flight delay, the filthy house will not bother her!!

[vettemed]

Originally Posted by Onebadcad

NEVER EVER EVER FLY ALLEGIANT AIRLINES, THEY BLOW CHUNKS!!

Wife had few options from FLL, allegiant was direct, only one flight daily, flew up yesterday, was supposed to be back at 2:30 PM today.
Weather delays CLAIMED, she will now be arriving around 8:00 PM.

Me thinks she will be so damn mad about the 5+ hours flight delay, the filthy house will not bother her!!

yeah, sounds about right. I'm sure when she gets home at 9:30 tonight the filthy stinking house will be almost un-noticeable to her.

[Onebadcad]

Originally Posted by vettemed

yeah, sounds about right. I'm sure when she gets home at 9:30 tonight the filthy stinking house will be almost un-noticeable to her.

That is the proven strategy, I may take here through the Arby's drive-thru to add an hour to her home arrival time, which would be close to 11 PM, and at 11 PM not much matters except the bed being made--OH SHIT, I better do at least that.

[Onebadcad]

Originally Posted by Red Baron

Make sure you get everything out of it first.

The old Hustler mags adds character to the bed top and nightstand, they are staying!!

[slewfoot]

Originally Posted by Red Baron

Gotta one-up ya, here.
Build or buy a doggie toy box to keep all the toys in their proper place. The floor will look nice and clean after you Swiffer it,

I have a large plastic kitchen trash can with a hole cut in the bottom and Bailey here can pull them out as needed. Then we pick them all up and put them back in.

[Aerovette]

Take the last plane from Assville
and I'll meet you at the station
I'm so sorry there's a mess at home
and for all my masturbation
While you were gone

Oh no no no
Oh no no no

[slewfoot]

Originally Posted by Red Baron

That's a clever idea. It looks like you are running a doggie daycare with the volume of toys strewn about.

They all used to belong to our Papillon-Simon who loved those things. He took them everywhere in the house and it's nice to see Bailey is enjoying them now. Simon passed 2 years ago.

Ricky who passed a few months ago never did play with toys. Life better again.

[Onebadcad]

Day two update:
Elvis good dood
Elvis cries when put to bed at night in his cage, for about 20 minutes, then sleeps for 6 hours
Elvis is good eater
Elvis still a good one month away from Crate Training Certificate
Elvis gets along with Ringo and Doly
Ringo getting tired with Elvis being center of attention
Dolly appreciative that Elvis thinks he can win toy tug-of-war

Damn glad we got Elvis, a nice fit,,, it's a dogs' life!!