Best friends wife cheated on him..

[JRD77VET]

No PMs or email? WTF?

So much for confidentiality. short & to the point. My "darling ex" cheated on me with a so called very good friend. The trust was totally destroyed. In my case it was "marriage over".

Talk to your friend and listen to what he says, how he says it and if there are any subtle messages/thoughts he's not saying outloud. YOU need to help listen and keep a clear head to the FACTS.

Good luck, he needs a good friend right now.

Jeff

[vetteman9368]

Originally Posted by JRD77VET

No PMs or email? WTF?

So much for confidentiality. short & to the point. My "darling ex" cheated on me with a so called very good friend. The trust was totally destroyed. In my case it was "marriage over".

Talk to your friend and listen to what he says, how he says it and if there are any subtle messages/thoughts he's not saying outloud. YOU need to help listen and keep a clear head to the FACTS.

Good luck, he needs a good friend right now.

Jeff

that's right. your job is to point out the facts, as you seem them from the outside. But don't judge, or tell him "you better not take that bitch back", because that can cause problems later on if they do work it out.

[...Whitepower...]

Just had another talk with him. He reached out to the other guy via text and told him that he would like to speak with him and also to stop communicating with his wife. No response.

He also had dinner tonight with his wifes father. Apparently her father hasn't talked to her since this all came out and that he understands and respects my friend for what ever decision he decides to make. Wasn't expecting to hear that..

He has calmed down a bit and his wife after work tomorrow is getting out of town for the weekend with her sister so that they can both have some space. If i had to guess they are going to try and work it out. He's a better man than me in that regard.

The wife and i changed our plans for tomorrow night. She is going shopping with a friend for a new dress for the wedding so that i can spend the night with him to see where his head is at.

Still trying to bring him back with me for the week. He hasn't canceled his vacation yet with his DM which is good news. He's really considering it.

[vetteman9368]

Originally Posted by ...Whitepower...

Just had another talk with him. He reached out to the other guy via text and told him that he would like to speak with him and also to stop communicating with his wife. No response.

He also had dinner tonight with his wifes father. Apparently her father hasn't talked to her since this all came out and that he understands and respects my friend for what ever decision he decides to make. Wasn't expecting to hear that..

He has calmed down a bit and his wife after work tomorrow is getting out of town for the weekend with her sister so that they can both have some space. If i had to guess they are going to try and work it out. He's a better man than me in that regard.

The wife and i changed our plans for tomorrow night. She is going shopping with a friend for a new dress for the wedding so that i can spend the night with him to see where his head is at.

Still trying to bring him back with me for the week. He hasn't canceled his vacation yet with his DM which is good news. He's really considering it.

sounds like you are doing all you can. Hope everything works out for your friend, whichever direction that might be.

[jeff w]

Originally Posted by vetteman9368

I know everyone's first reaction is to divorce or ditch the bitch, and depending on the situation that may be his best course of action. But people have made it through infidelity and come out the other side stronger than ever. It just really depends on the people and the situation. All you can do is be there for him and be supportive of him.

I don't really care what happens in a relationship, cheating is NEVER the correct thing to do. I have ZERO tolerance for it. To me, staying and trying to work it out says "I don't value myself enough to leave a person who betrays me like this."

[Flatbush Harry]

Originally Posted by Jay13

You crack me up. I have to google half of your references and they are always so accurate that I don't know whether to shyt or wind my watch. Clearly I was not contemplating the Internet when I smoked all that pot in HS and figured "this shyt will never be relevant".

Jay, ol' Buddy, it's a pleasure!

I'll try to maintain this level.

and

Harry

[Corey_68]

Once a cheat always a cheat...

As for the friend, he'd get curb stomped "American History X" style.

[Sea Six]

Originally Posted by Jay13

"barren"? Holy Biblical terminology Batman!

http://www.bundlings.com/quotes/RAISING1.WAV

http://www.bundlings.com/quotes/RAISING2.WAV

[LATB]

Originally Posted by Yerf Dog

Trust is very difficult to repair.

seems to be working out OK for Bill Clinton.

[LATB]

Originally Posted by Flatbush Harry

Murder is illegal, divorce is expensive, dishonesty is unacceptable. I believe this summarizes "rock and a hard place", or, for you literati, the concept of Scylla and Charybdis.



Harrius, literatus

Originally Posted by Jay13

You crack me up. I have to google half of your references and they are always so accurate that I don't know whether to shyt or wind my watch. Clearly I was not contemplating the Internet when I smoked all that pot in HS and figured "this shyt will never be relevant".

Harry keeps us on our toes...and keeps Google in business.

Although, I knew the "Scylla and Charybdis" reference...from the Police song "wrapped around your finger" ...When I heard it on the album Synchronicity, it intrigued me, so I looked it up then (what a job that was, pre internet & Google). And yes, I was probably smokin' a joint while listening to Synchronicity for the 1st time in '83...and prolly doin' bong hits while scanning a dictionary & encyclopedia.

[Sea Six]

Originally Posted by jeff w

I don't really care what happens in a relationship, cheating is NEVER the correct thing to do. I have ZERO tolerance for it. To me, staying and trying to work it out says "I don't value myself enough to leave a person who betrays me like this."

Yup.

[LATB]

Originally Posted by TxAg

100% disagree.

w/ your disagreement...

especially if there are young children involved.

but, every case is different...there is no wide brush to cover the mess known as infidelity.

[PLRX]

Originally Posted by Yerf Dog

Trust is very difficult to repair.

Thats unrepairable in my world.

About her cheating on him, she got caught.

[mrvette]

I sincerely believe the kids' mom had an affair on a business trip in the mid 80's so when she wanted the divorce, I was more concerned for the kids than her....

Given the problems the kids have now, I"d say she has been a poor parent.....

[polarbear]

Originally Posted by LarsAtTheBeach

w/ your disagreement...

especially if there are young children involved.

but, every case is different...there is no wide brush to cover the mess known as infidelity.

I'm pretty sure there's more to this story as well. Wives don't generally hop into bed with someone else when everything's just beyond perfect at home. Ya never know what goes on behind closed doors- even when it's close friends involved.

[Petew1971]

no pics of the cheating whore..thread sucks, close it down

[...Whitepower...]

Originally Posted by polarbear

I'm pretty sure there's more to this story as well. Wives don't generally hop into bed with someone else when everything's just beyond perfect at home. Ya never know what goes on behind closed doors- even when it's close friends involved.

That's what I am starting to suspect based on our last conversation. I'll know more here shortly as I am meeting him after work.

Just checked into the hotel room. Time for a power nap.

Later.

[oyealiz]

Originally Posted by ...Whitepower...

These guys spend alot of time together. My friend and his wife treated his kids as their own as she was barren. With the other guy being divorced they would always help out with the kids. I think that's why this hurts him so much. To be honest I'm hurt by it too.

Btw he figured something was up and saw some texts.

Sad. Because it sounds like the kiddos will be hurt, too.

Originally Posted by jeff w

I don't really care what happens in a relationship, cheating is NEVER the correct thing to do. I have ZERO tolerance for it. To me, staying and trying to work it out says "I don't value myself enough to leave a person who betrays me like this."

I agree, it's never the correct thing to do.

However, since it's already happened, another way of looking at it is "I value my relationship enough to look at the reasons why someone might betray me like this and decide together if we wish to stay together and try to work it out."

[oyealiz]

Originally Posted by polarbear

I'm pretty sure there's more to this story as well. Wives don't generally hop into bed with someone else when everything's just beyond perfect at home. Ya never know what goes on behind closed doors- even when it's close friends involved.

On counts one, two and three.

[...Whitepower...]

Went to dinner with him and his wife.

Gee that was awkward.

He's surronded by his wifes family who all know. Meanwhile he's only told me and the guy who his wife cheated withs exwife. He's not getting any objective opinions at all. Everyone talking to him has his wife's best interests in mind.