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Old 06-18-2018, 11:11am   #1
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Default HELL Explained........
HELL EXPLAINED

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:16am   #2
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Pics of Theresa? For research purposes, of course.
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:18am   #3
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Pics of Theresa? For research purposes, of course.
When hell freezes over.
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:25am   #4
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Pics of Theresa? For research purposes, of course.
I heard she is hot as hell
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:30am   #5
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*therefore
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:37am   #6
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HELL Explained........

what... no picture of my first wife?
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:39am   #7
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what... and no picture of my first wife?
Theresa?
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:42am   #8
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:44am   #9
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Trophy wife!

really, what, 3rd place?
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Old 06-18-2018, 12:00pm   #10
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this assumes that souls have mass.

how much does a thought weigh?

what's the volume of an emotion?
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Old 06-18-2018, 12:56pm   #11
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I'm sure that story is absolutely not made up at all - right?
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Old 06-18-2018, 2:19pm   #12
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I'm sure that story is absolutely not made up at all - right?
I checked snopes, couldn't find a hit.
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Old 06-18-2018, 2:22pm   #13
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Prof gave us that joke in undergrad Thermo. 1983.
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Old 06-18-2018, 2:26pm   #14
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Prof gave us that joke in undergrad Thermo. 1983.
More people would recognize the joke if the start of every line looked like this:

>
>
>
>
>
>
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Old 06-18-2018, 2:38pm   #15
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Originally Posted by bill_daniels View Post
Pics of Theresa? For research purposes, of course.
Since this is older than than the internet by at least 30 years, Theresa may indeed be Mother Theresa. Still want a pic?
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Old 06-18-2018, 3:15pm   #16
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Prof gave us that joke in undergrad Thermo. 1983.
I took Thermo in 1988, so I'm guessing you're older than me. My prof didn't share the joke.
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Old 06-18-2018, 3:21pm   #17
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I took Thermo in 1988, so I'm guessing you're older than me. My prof didn't share the joke.
i think i took Thermo in 83.

crap, we old. and he used the same textbook that my dad used: Heat Transfer by McAdams.
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Old 06-18-2018, 4:25pm   #18
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I took Thermo in 1988, so I'm guessing you're older than me. My prof didn't share the joke.
Hell, my HS buddies took Thermo in '63.....bunch of young punks dunno nuttin'.....
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Old 06-19-2018, 2:20am   #19
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Thermodynamics in '87 for me.



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