Thank you, Dixievet....

[lspencer534]

A few months ago he sent me a bottle of Ginebra S. Miguel gin from the Philippines. Small bottle, maybe 6 ounces. Last night I wanted a gin and tonic but remembered that I was out...then I thought of Dixievet!

I got the bottle out and was puzzled about how to open it: Careful inspection revealed that if was a pop-top cap. "Odd," I thought. "Never seen a botlte of liquor or even wine open like that....beer, but not liquor or wine." The only thing noteworthy on the label was a picture of an upside-down cow on fire.

I located a bottle opener, and sure enough that opened it. I sampled its aroma: None, other than a faint smell of lye...or maybe acid...." I mixed a drink and sampled it.

The first thing I noticed was my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you’re all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

I woke up laying on the floor hours later. I realized a few things:

1. Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2 – I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3 – Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.

4 – My left eye will not open.

5 – My right eye will not close.

6. – My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.

7 – I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don’t understand this???).

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come into my house , I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to not drink Filipino gin again.

Oh,,,Rob, I don't like Rhum....

[Jeff '79]

I love you Dixie !!!

[MrPeabody]

Have any of your wife's relatives moved into your house?

[Jeff '79]

Originally Posted by MrPeabody

Have any of your wife's relatives moved into your house?

[DAB]

good news: if you die, you won't rot real fast, but you will burn for about 3 days.

[Broken Wind]

I’m going to rate this thread on Yelp.

[Bill]

Originally Posted by MrPeabody

How many of your wife's relatives have moved into your house?

FTFY

[Bill]

Originally Posted by DAB

good news: if you die, you won't rot real fast, but you will burn for about 3 days.

I'm sure he will as the crematorium for a discount, since they won't need so much natural gas to incinerate him.

[boracayjohnny]

This thread is comedy gold Jerry....gold!

Gold Jerry! Gold!! - YouTube

[Sea Six]

Originally Posted by DAB

good news: if you die, you won't rot real fast, but you will burn for about 3 days.

And upside down.

[Sea Six]

Doesn't look anything like an upside down cow on fire to me, but then again, I haven't been drinking Ginebra S. Miguel gin, either.

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by Sea Six

Doesn't look anything like an upside down cow on fire to me, but then again, I haven't been drinking Ginebra S. Miguel gin, either.

On the back of the bottle, Dummy....

[Rob]

Glad you ?enjoyed? it

I was told it was terrible, I am so glad it lived up to my expectations

[Sea Six]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

On the back of the bottle, Dummy....

Ah. I'll keep looking.

[OddBall]

Question is: Did you finish the bottle?

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by OddBall

Question is: Did you finish the bottle?

After waking up from my fall, I saw that I had spilled my drink on the kitchen island and tile floor in the kitchen. The liquor completely dissolved the paint on the island and the tile. I've ordered several million gallons of the gin to re-bottle as paint stripper/tile and concrete remover.

[boracayjohnny]

Spence, for your next night filled with regret, get your hands on Soju. It's a magical elixir from Korea and known to cause some to sing.....in a tree......while naked.

[snide]

Originally Posted by boracayjohnny

Spence, for your next night filled with regret, get your hands on Soju. It's a magical elixir from Korea and known to cause some to sing.....in a tree......while naked.

How far up in the tree did you manage to climb?

[Jeff '79]

Originally Posted by boracayjohnny

Spence, for your next night filled with regret, get your hands on Soju. It's a magical elixir from Korea and known to cause some to sing.....in a tree......while naked.

Originally Posted by snide

How far up in the tree did you manage to climb?

[OddBall]

Originally Posted by snide

How far up in the tree did you manage to climb?

And was it a pine? That bark had to hurt like hell on the dangely bits.