Things I will not miss on a cruise

[Murray]

Originally Posted by Giraffe (He/Him)

Lemme tell ya 'bout a cruise.

The first thing to get used to is lines. EVERY single thing they offer comes with a free line of dipshits. Getting on the boat? Line. Food? Line. Picking up your luggage shit? I despise lines.

Then the food. Sure. Cruises are known for their food right? Only you can't eat the ****ing food until every asshole has taken a picture of it. "Did you get a shot of the lobster Myrtle?!"

Then you're assigned a dinner table -for the formal meal- with half a dozen complete strangers. And what do you do? You introduce yourself and tell a little about yourself! RONG!

At some point along the way, if you're lucky (?) the Captain comes to your table! Ooooh! Ahhhhh! The Captain! Listen Captain Stubbing. You're 'sailing' around the Caribbean a mile off shore. The worst weather they're likely to encounter is a ****ing rain cloud. My 86 year old mother could do that half way through a box of wine.

Then, you disembark (that's get off the stupid boat) for your island destination! This is the best part until it's time to return to the Love Boat and there's no chance you'll miss your ride because the blow a ****ing horn to let you know you'd better get back.

Then you have the 'Day at Sea.' You island hop all the way down and sail nonstop on the way back. If you don't get to the pool area by 4:00am you can forget about getting a chair of ANY sort.

And then, the last day. Your room (Cabin I guess) has 35 envelopes on the bed. Every dope you said so much as hello to wants a tip. Room service, the luggage boy, (I guess they're called Porters or some shit) The bartender, the host, the waiter and his helper, the guy shoveling coal into the boiler. EVERYONE wants a tip.

Never again as long as I live.

Possibly a record for most wrong things in one post

I won’t go through all your crap but I’ve never sat with anyone other than my wife during dinner.

One other thing, envelopes stopped 20-25 yrs ago.

[Giraffe (He/Him)]

Originally Posted by Murray

Possibly a record for most wrong things in one post

I won’t go through all your crap but I’ve never sat with anyone other than my wife during dinner.

One other thing, envelopes stopped 20-25 yrs ago.

Did it ever occur to you, cross your pea sized brain that MAYBE that's when I went? 20+ years ago?

[LATB]

Thomas’s cruise story FTW.

[Vandelay Industries]

This is awesome.

[TheHammer]

Originally Posted by Giraffe (He/Him)

Did it ever occur to you, cross your pea sized brain that MAYBE that's when I went? 20+ years ago?

Shit, did you have to help row too?

[dvarapala]

Originally Posted by Giraffe (He/Him)

Did it ever occur to you, cross your pea sized brain that MAYBE that's when I went? 20+ years ago?

The last time I was on the Internet was in 1969 (it was called the ARPAnet back then). Let me tell you what to expect when you connect to the Internet of today.

BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

[TheRealBadger]

Originally Posted by dvarapala

The last time I was on the Internet was in 1969 (it was called the ARPAnet back then). Let me tell you what to expect when you connect to the Internet of today.

BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

“Back in my day…”

Damn.

[Giraffe (He/Him)]

Originally Posted by TheHammer

Shit, did you have to help row too?

I went with my then girlfriend, later wife, now ex-wife/friend. She actually went on a cruise a few years later with her daughter and said that one was SIGNIFICANTLY better than the one her and I took.

Ours was Carnival. Her’s was Royal Caribbean. (I think)

[LATB]

Originally Posted by TheHammer

Shit, did you have to help row too?

That’s funny

[Giraffe (He/Him)]

Originally Posted by dvarapala

The last time I was on the Internet was in 1969 (it was called the ARPAnet back then). Let me tell you what to expect when you connect to the Internet of today.

BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Lizzen mope. All I did was share MY experience. I didn’t realize there were time constraints attached.

“Tell me about your cruise experience but it SHALL be current going back no further than five years.”

[Mike Mercury]

Originally Posted by Onebadcad

Captain's Seafood Night... pretty damn certain mrs. pauls was the caterer

[VatorMan]

My experiences with cruises ended up with my ship in dangerous places and me having no sleep for most of the time.

One of the reasons I told the wife I won’t go on a cruise ship. Scared I’ll hear a knock at the door @ 3:30 AM telling me I have the next watch.

We have been looking at European river cruises tho.

[Murray]

Originally Posted by Giraffe (He/Him)

Did it ever occur to you, cross your pea sized brain that MAYBE that's when I went? 20+ years ago?

Considering what you wrote made it sound like you got off one last week….No

You ever consider mentioning gas was a buck when you went to let people in on the fact you haven’t been on one since Christ was a cowboy?

[Murray]

Originally Posted by Giraffe (He/Him)

I went with my then girlfriend, later wife, now ex-wife/friend. She actually went on a cruise a few years later with her daughter and said that one was SIGNIFICANTLY better than the one her and I took.

Ours was Carnival. Her’s was Royal Caribbean. (I think)

I think I found your problem

[Murray]

[Giraffe] who the f’k orders from Amazon? All they’re good for is books! [Giraffe]

[Vandelay Industries]

Originally Posted by Murray

I think I found your problem

I was just about to say that.

[dvarapala]

Originally Posted by Giraffe (He/Him)

Lizzen mope. All I did was share MY experience. I didn’t realize there were time constraints attached.

“Tell me about your cruise experience but it SHALL be current going back no further than five years.”

Nobody asked for a history lesson.

[John Wiz]

Originally Posted by Murray

I think I found your problem

Yep, we did one on Carnival - that was enough. Also did one on Norwegian (a long time ago), but have been sticking with Royal Caribbean. Not perfect, but a lot better than Carnival. Loved Freedom of the Seas, the Oasis class was good (it was just the wife and I), but would be better for a family with kids.

[DJ_Critterus]

Originally Posted by Taurus

Quantum of the Seas

i think that ship was featured on Smithsonian Channel's MIGHTY CRUISE SHIPS.

yep.... it was edit: i got my ships mixed up but still leave the clip below.

YouTube (Short URL)

[Murray]

Originally Posted by John Wiz

Yep, we did one on Carnival - that was enough. Also did one on Norwegian (a long time ago), but have been sticking with Royal Caribbean. Not perfect, but a lot better than Carnival. Loved Freedom of the Seas, the Oasis class was good (it was just the wife and I), but would be better for a family with kids.

We found Princess 20 yrs ago or so and haven’t changed. We’ve always liked an older crowd with less kids. Going on our 6th next January.

Would like to do a 150-200 person riverboat one some day.