I think my career is over.

[Steve_R]

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin

Steve has had some rough times and he is more private about the disease than me.

Yes I have, and yes I am. I was diagnosed 45 years ago. I’ve had major surgery three times. I’ve nearly bled out twice. I’ve given myself injections for several years. Yeah, it impacts quality of life, but not nearly enough to give up. I have four grandkids to spoil and watch grow up. I have a beautiful wife who’s been with me since I was diagnosed. I refuse to let it rule or ruin my life.

[NotSlo]

I lost my gig a month ago and can't seem to find another one. At 60 years old it seem no one is interested in a systems engineer with my creds.

I have to figure out a different approach. I am going to work with someone this week to redo my resume, I think I am going to have to approach this from the customer advocacy side of things instead of engineering. Honestly I am not interested in keeping up with tech and my customer interaction has always been my strongest skill.

Need to find something soon, need the health benefits for my wife, COBRA is too expensive.

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by Steve_R

Yes I have, and yes I am. I was diagnosed 45 years ago. I’ve had major surgery three times. I’ve nearly bled out twice. I’ve given myself injections for several years. Yeah, it impacts quality of life, but not nearly enough to give up. I have four grandkids to spoil and watch grow up. I have a beautiful wife who’s been with me since I was diagnosed. I refuse to let it rule or ruin my life.

I consider you a friend and fellow warrior and state the following with respect.

You seem confused about what I’m saying. I didn’t say I’m giving up. Not by a long shot. I’m letting a 30 year business slide and going all in on another.

I’m happy for you that you disease is in control enough so you can “refuse to let it control or ruin my life” but I would think someone with this disease would understand that nobody can control the progression of the disease and it’s impact on their life.

You have a habit of minimizing my situation based on the idea that everyone’s life and situation is like yours. I’d appreciate it if you did not minimize it or imply that, somehow, I am to blame, that I have control over it or that I’m overstating my challenge.

Based on the info you have shared, your experience isn’t even close to what I’ve dealt with and continue to fight. (3 surgeries in 45 years? I wish! )

The following is not bragging. It is response to your ongoing implication that I “let it control or ruin my life”.

With this disease I’ve delivered medical aid to Nicaragua.
I’ve made the equivalent of three feature film in three years.
I built two cars.
I’ve worked relentlessly through treatments, illness, surgeries and more.
I’ve built three companies, raised a son and been the sole breadwinner for my family for thirty years

I’ve had to start over in business four times, all of which were caused by forces outside my control. I have never had a vacation and I generally work seven days a week.

My wife and I just launched another company.
I have performed with nine Grammy winners on six continents and released nine albums.
I’ve received three Presidential awards
been featured in Scientific American, Inc., and Time Magazine.

And the entire time I’ve been self employed. I didn’t take the safe route and collect a paycheck from someone else. I generated paychecks for hundreds of people.

If that is “letting it rule my life” then the sky is purple. I share information about the illness so others might have more empathy and understanding for the 850k people struck by this disease who are not as fortunate as you.

Note the goodwill and empathy of others here.

So to be clear, my intention is to continue working as hard as I can with a different model and I give no quarter to this curse.

Really, I am happy that your version is less severe than mine. That is a blessing.

However, I’m looking for moral support from my friends because I’m struggling. What I don’t need is someone minimizing my situation and criticizing me.

I understand your position from this interaction and previous. I respectfully ask that you do not post in my threads looking for support in the future. Not only is it not helpful, it makes my challenge more difficult.

I wish you continued good health.

[SnikPlosskin]

@datawiz , I’m still wondering why you mention life choices and consequences. Am I missing something?

[Datawiz]

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin

@datawiz , I’m still wondering why you mention life choices and consequences. Am I missing something?

@SnikPlosskin

Pete, I didn't mean that in a mean way. You are an entrepreneur, and we've all watched your ebbs and flows business-wise over the years. I started working out of the house in 1997, and had a good run, but like you, I eventually got to the point where I couldn't keep my hopper full.

The recession hit, and I had to get a 9-5 W2 job, and had 2 back-2-back jobs that ended up being failures. My decision to work on my own, ultimately bit me in the ass. In 2014, I was EXTREMELY close to bankruptcy. I wasn't sure how I was going to feed my family. It was then that I realized I made myself a dinosaur. My skills were no longer marketable. All of those good years, working remotely, and all of the cash that I was printing, I lost relationships, and didn't stay current in the market.

I ultimately reinvented myself, swallowed my pride, and got into cloud computing, which has now leap-frogged me to the front of what's hot in tech, thus I should be fine for the rest of my career. I had to swallow my pride, and give up my individual freedom, and work for a company again, but thankfully, I'm now with my final home. The company I work for is fantastic, and they compensate me quite well.

End of the day, I just saw a parallel between you and me. I made a choice that ultimately came with consequences, and made me have to make new choices. The one thing I didn't do was EVER GIVE UP. I recognize your health dilemma, which adds a dynamic I can't fully appreciate, but just keep fighting. Fight to the death, I know you can get back on the top of the mountain.

If I can do it, you can too. If there is anything I can do to help, please feel free to reach out.

Craig

[Steve_R]

Pete, I’m sorry you feel I’m “minimizing your situation” as that’s not my intent. I understand a lot of what you’re going through and I wish you nothing but the best. I’ll refrain from posting in your threads in the future. Take care of yourself.

[JetMechZ16]

Originally Posted by Rodnok1

Steve knows.. He's had it for decades.

You got that wrong. Steve has Moans disease, hit's him every time Strapped-N-Chapped visits

[Rodnok1]

Originally Posted by JetMechZ16

You got that wrong. Steve has Moans disease, hit's him every time Strapped-N-Chapped visits

That's a fact...

[DAB]

Originally Posted by NotSlo

I lost my gig a month ago and can't seem to find another one. At 60 years old it seem no one is interested in a systems engineer with my creds.

I have to figure out a different approach. I am going to work with someone this week to redo my resume, I think I am going to have to approach this from the customer advocacy side of things instead of engineering. Honestly I am not interested in keeping up with tech and my customer interaction has always been my strongest skill.

Need to find something soon, need the health benefits for my wife, COBRA is too expensive.

companies have no interest in "older" folks. they say that they cost too much, will be around too little, are not up to date on current "technology", don't work hard enough.......blah, blah, blah....

when's the last time you heard of a company who was looking for someone who was loyal, diligent, dependable.....they'll burn thru 5 people in hope of finding a keeper, only to let them go 18 months later.

i'm still amazed that in 13 years, no one has contacted me and asked if i'm available. at this point, the answer is no.

[snide]

Originally Posted by NotSlo

Need to find something soon, need the health benefits for my wife, COBRA is too expensive.

Email me your resume.

[Cool 50th AE]

Originally Posted by snide

Email me your resume.

Can I email you Knooger related pics?

[snide]

Originally Posted by Cool 50th AE

Can I email you Knooger related pics?

I have all of them already.

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by datawiz

@SnikPlosskin

Pete, I didn't mean that in a mean way. You are an entrepreneur, and we've all watched your ebbs and flows business-wise over the years. I started working out of the house in 1997, and had a good run, but like you, I eventually got to the point where I couldn't keep my hopper full.

The recession hit, and I had to get a 9-5 W2 job, and had 2 back-2-back jobs that ended up being failures. My decision to work on my own, ultimately bit me in the ass. In 2014, I was EXTREMELY close to bankruptcy. I wasn't sure how I was going to feed my family. It was then that I realized I made myself a dinosaur. My skills were no longer marketable. All of those good years, working remotely, and all of the cash that I was printing, I lost relationships, and didn't stay current in the market.

I ultimately reinvented myself, swallowed my pride, and got into cloud computing, which has now leap-frogged me to the front of what's hot in tech, thus I should be fine for the rest of my career. I had to swallow my pride, and give up my individual freedom, and work for a company again, but thankfully, I'm now with my final home. The company I work for is fantastic, and they compensate me quite well.

End of the day, I just saw a parallel between you and me. I made a choice that ultimately came with consequences, and made me have to make new choices. The one thing I didn't do was EVER GIVE UP. I recognize your health dilemma, which adds a dynamic I can't fully appreciate, but just keep fighting. Fight to the death, I know you can get back on the top of the mountain.

If I can do it, you can too. If there is anything I can do to help, please feel free to reach out.

Craig

Thanks. I’m not giving up at all. I’m just moving out of my main profession. COVID is what caused this. A series of surgeries slowed me down but I worked the entire time. It was COVID that did it. I spent all day analyzing my financials.

Last (COVID) year was pretty bad at $195k but many had it much worse.

I have zero doubt about my skills. I’ve kept up with the business but I’m just tired of the intensity of the job. I typically bill about $180k per client on the low side and usually support two to three clients.

Understand, I’ve been self employed my entire life. The consequences of my decision built a six million dollar firm and we generally do quite well. I would not change a thing.

It’s the circumstances beyond our control that keep knocking us down.

9/11 plus wife’s cancer killed our bigger firm.
Her insurance company cancelled her policy retroactively.
I had to take 18 months off to care for her and our son

Both of these events were not due to any choices we made. During that time I built my C2.

I started consulting in 2003 and have averaged mid six figures since 2006. Self employment has allowed me to do things that would have never been possible with a conventional job. (Go on tour with Pinetop Perkins for example).

In 2010 I left consulting to start an education company. We developed the product and brought it to market (it currently airs in over ten thousand schools around the world.)

However, I became very ill during the time we were bringing on investors (series A). I was hospitalized six times in 2013. The investors evaporated. We had to give it up. I lost a quarter of a million dollars.

Again, circumstances outside of my control. The illness suddenly went ****ing nuts. By the end of that year we were starting over again and I went back to consulting.

I’m very good at selling to $10m - $200m companies so within six months we were back to normal revenues.

In 2017, I woke up at a hospital and had an emergency bowel resection and septicemia from my small bowel bursting. This is a major surgery that took months to recover.

Once again, business ground to a halt. I didn’t choose that. But I worked double time and built it back up.

I had five more surgeries from mistakes made during the bowel resection. (Not within my control) two in 2018 ($280k) two in 2019, one in 2020.

Between 2016 and 2020 I was hospitalized 13 times. 6 times in the ICU. You can imagine this created a mountain of debt. None of it within my control.

We were absolutely rocking in March 2020. Then the ****ing government shut down commerce.

I have had two more surgeries in the last month!

Through it all, I have never stopped working. I made the hospital room into my office! It was brutal but it’s what had to be done.

I still have to keep going. There is no giving up. I need health insurance so I have to work. I’m just moving to a different business model that I hope will be lower stress. If we can get through this year, we will be back to where we were.

I also have come to terms that I can’t work a normal day. I can do about six hours and I am fried. I’m having trouble recalling words and my eye sight is failing faster than the doctor predicted. (That’s going to be an interesting transition).

I’m just freaked out because I’ve never done anything but consulting and strategy. It’s very strange to leave that behind after 30 years - literally half my life.

The support here really helps. I have to hide all of this because people judge and it’s exhausting. If Inhad cancer, people would rally around me (like I have for others). If I was in a wheelchair, everyone would be tripping over themselves to assist.

But nope. My disease is invisible. I can’t stress enough how difficult this is. It is lonely. Nobody helps. I drive myself to the cancer center. I have never had anyone offer to sit with me during the infusion which lasts five hours. (Just as well, but it’s a nice thought!)

My normality is a facade. It’s getting to the point where I can’t hide it anymore. I can’t meet in the morning. I can’t meet after work for cocktails or networking. (That’s why Imcreated my own networking events where people come to me - the music events are networking events).

Originally Posted by Steve_R

Pete, I’m sorry you feel I’m “minimizing your situation” as that’s not my intent. I understand a lot of what you’re going through and I wish you nothing but the best. I’ll refrain from posting in your threads in the future. Take care of yourself.

I didn’t think it was your intent but it is what you do. Everyone tends to think their experience with the disease is the same as everyone else. It’s easy to do.

Just like I know that manynare much worse than me. They have ostomy bags. Some people have their rectum removed and sewn up. They call it “Barbie Butt” after the doll (mostly happens to women) THEY HAVE NO BUTTHOLE!

I come here because people are supportive and kind. I’m really struggling right now physically and mentally. Your posts hurt, brother. You are always welcome in any thread. I just ask that if you can’t be supportive or empathetic, maybe just skip the thread.

The truth is, I took out my frustration on you and that was wrong. Everyday of my life people say “Yeah, I had some stomach issues and I took probiotics and it cured me. You should look into that.” Or “C’mon man, come out with us, we are all tired...” They don’t understand that my fatigue gets to the point where I can’t climb stairs.

Or “you just need to improve your diet. I had the same problem...” Uh, no you didn’t and my diet is super healthy.

Or my favorite “Just change your mindset. My cousin cured his Crohn’s through the power of positive thinking!”

Because I look fine, people brush off my situation or blame it on me. I tell people I don’t meet early mornings, they assume I like to sleep in because lazy.

I have figured out that it’s not reasonable of me to expect them to understand. Just like I can’t understand what it’s like to be robust and energetic or to eat a steak.

Originally Posted by DAB

companies have no interest in "older" folks. they say that they cost too much, will be around too little, are not up to date on current "technology", don't work hard enough.......blah, blah, blah....

when's the last time you heard of a company who was looking for someone who was loyal, diligent, dependable.....they'll burn thru 5 people in hope of finding a keeper, only to let them go 18 months later.

i'm still amazed that in 13 years, no one has contacted me and asked if i'm available. at this point, the answer is no.

I would hire you!

This is REALLY a thing in marketing. Nobody will hire an old man who can’t work a full day and who has never worked for anyone else. They assume I don’t know the new tech (I know it very well but I hire other people for that). They assume I wouldn’t be able to take orders from someone younger.

My wife got her teaching cert and had countless interviews with schools and no offers. A friend who is a teacher said age discrimination in the schools is a huge problem. We noticed that many of the positions were awarded to much younger, far less credentialed people.

I suppose I’m going through a phase where I’m realizing I’m old. I’m not accustomed to being limited in my abilities. I have to face it.

At some point the doc says I should start learning brail - **** that. My ears still work. More or less. I can still play guitar and sing without looking. I can type 70-80 words per minute without looking at the keyboard and my computer reads shit to me. As long as my wife doesn’t move the furniture, I’m good.

I don’t share this with anyone. Even my wife doesn’t know about my eyesight although she is starting to suspect. She says “get new glassses”. At some point I need to get her to understand it’s the optic nerves that are getting damaged. Glasses won’t do it. She may be in denial too.

At least that issue is still years off.

My doc says I’ve entered a period where the disease becomes very active. More surgeries, more brushes with death, more hospitalizations and infections. Then after about ten years it subsides. People generally get better if they survive it. Nobody knows why.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to write such a long post. I have no one to talk to. No support groups in this area. You misfits are it and I’m so appreciative and blessed to be part of this community.

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by snide

Email me your resume.

Send to me too. I know a shit load of business people.

[NotSlo]

Originally Posted by snide

Email me your resume.

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin

Send to me too. I know a shit load of business people.

I realized with the help of a friend who is a hiring manager that my resume was too generalized. I revamped it today. I will send it it off to you gents. Thanks.