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Off Topic Off Topic - General non-Corvette related discussion. |
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11-13-2009, 10:17am | #1 | ||||||
A Real Barner
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Very brave man jokes
1 How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It! 2 What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. 3 What are the three fastest means of communication? 1) Television 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman 4 How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They're both fun to ride until your friends find out. 5 What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it. 6 Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of t* ts in there. 7 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 8 Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch. 9 Why did God create woman ? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.. 10 Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care. 11 What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already. 12 If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long 13 How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. 14 Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. 15 Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. 16 How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...' 17 How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. 18 Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. 19 If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course.. He'll shut up once you let him in. 20 What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told 21 Women will never be equal to men.. until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. |
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11-13-2009, 10:19am | #2 | ||||||
Vette Barn Crew
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The last one hits close to home
mike |
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11-13-2009, 10:47am | #3 | ||||||
Vette Barn Crew
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11-13-2009, 10:53am | #4 | ||||||
Charter Member
C6 Modulator Barn Stall Owner #27 Barn Raising I,II NCM Supporter '13,'14,'15 Bantayan Kids '13
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11-13-2009, 12:49pm | #5 | ||||||
Charter Member - C5 Mod
Barn Stall Owner #41
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I was going to insert a smart azz remark here, but then my brain actually kicked into gear.
__________________
'98 Pewter coupe. A little of this and a little of that..... |
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11-13-2009, 1:24pm | #6 | ||||||
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Barn Stall Owner #78
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Bet you won't share these with your wife!
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11-13-2009, 1:30pm | #7 | ||||||
Charter Member
C6 Modulator Barn Stall Owner #27 Barn Raising I,II NCM Supporter '13,'14,'15 Bantayan Kids '13
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[QUOTE=Vet4jdc;12147]Bet you won't share these with your wife!
QUOTE] Not if you want to get any anytime soon!!!! |
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11-13-2009, 1:39pm | #8 | ||||||
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10/10! Can't wait to bust out some of these this weekend...
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11-13-2009, 2:03pm | #9 | ||||||
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11-14-2009, 7:24am | #10 | ||||||
Pres-Posters 4 Toasters
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spot on
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11-14-2009, 3:03pm | #11 | ||||||
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Barn Stall Owner #00
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Words to live by!
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00 MY coupe Some minor tweaks here and there. |
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