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Old 07-26-2022, 7:09am   #61
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Jeff, I'm really sorry to hear the news.

Scott
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Old 07-26-2022, 7:14am   #62
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My condolences to you and your family Aero.
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Old 07-27-2022, 9:26pm   #63
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Lost my Dad in Jan 99 at sixty one. My Mom in 2014 at seventy. Still miss them both.

Truly sorry to hear.
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Old 08-03-2022, 4:10pm   #64
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The funeral was Saturday. It went well and the funeral home was very accommodating. A slide show with music played while people quietly visited. When we first arrived, it was just me and my mom. Having a quiet couple of minutes to ourselves before people arrived. The pastor spoke for about 45 minutes and we all prayed. I was very happy to learn something I did not know about my own father. I was completely unaware that he had been Baptized. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders to learn this. The common theme in the memories posted on the obituary page, and in the conversations that were had, was my dad's humor. Where my humor tends to be sarcasm or sharp wit, my dad leaned heavily to the silly side. He was influenced by people like Red Skelton, Jerry Lewis, Lou Costello, and the like.

So now, the cleaning for guests is done, the food has been eaten, the flowers slowly wilting, the cards collected, the changes made to accounts etc. and the gravity of it all, and the cavernous void my dad leaves behind, have settled in to be here forever. Even the dog occasionally tries to find him.

I have lost the motivation to do things that I'd want to tell him about. Progress on my Charger, a successful home repair, a way that a DIY saved some money. Things that he could appreciate because he is the reason I can do them. I have officially inherited all of his tools and I know with the way things go at my house, I'll get to use every one of them eventually. I'm just not as motivated without him.

I miss you dad.
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Old 08-03-2022, 7:32pm   #65
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Old 08-09-2022, 3:31pm   #66
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Tomorrow, August 10th, would be my dad's birthday.

Hardly something to ignore and difficult to celebrate. I don't know what we'll do.

Probably shed a lot of tears into a small piece of cake for each of us.

A friend sent this to me...

I had my own notion of grief
I thought it was a sad time
That followed the death of someone you love
And you had to push through it to get to the other side
But I'm learning there is no other side
There is no pushing through
But rather there is an absorption
Adjustment
Acceptance
And grief is not something you "complete"
But rather you endure
Grief is not a task to finish
And move on
But an element of yourself
A new way of seeing
A new definition of self
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Old 08-10-2022, 10:51am   #67
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Happy Birthday Dad. I wish you could be here for it. We miss you terribly.

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Old 08-10-2022, 10:58am   #68
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So now, the cleaning for guests is done, the food has been eaten, the flowers slowly wilting, the cards collected, the changes made to accounts etc. and the gravity of it all, and the cavernous void my dad leaves behind, have settled in to be here forever.

I miss you dad.
I think this is the hardest part of losing somebody; a few weeks after all is laid to rest and their absence is painfully obvious.

I know that day is coming for my parents as well. Just hope it's later than sooner.
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Old 08-10-2022, 11:03am   #69
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Happy Birthday Dad. I wish you could be here for it. We miss you terribly.

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Old 08-14-2022, 10:19pm   #70
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Another rough day for mom. we held on to the flower arrangements as long as we could and today we cleaned up. We have plants to take care of that were sent, but all the flowers are gone. I took petals from each arrangement and have them in a nice square glass jar like potpourri. His ashes are on a cabinet in the entry hall and his portrait will be hung this week. We have not gone through the guest book yet but we will be sending the Thank You cards this week. It still doesn't seem real. My brain keeps imagining he's in another room. I fear for my mom's health. I am very aware people can die from a broken heart and that will be the case for her. On paper, she is in great health, but she painfully misses him after 62 years together. I am needing to be strong so I can help her grieve, but we both need to start on the path of recovery. Neither of us know what to do or how to rebuild some kind of rhythm to our day. I've said it before, I have work to help keep my mind busy. She doesn't. I hate leaving her alone all day in this house.

Anyway, like DAB, I come here to release some of the thoughts swimming in my head and share.

I miss you dad.
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Old 08-18-2022, 12:33pm   #71
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That sucks
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Old 08-18-2022, 1:27pm   #72
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Question for you all.

I am unbelievably sad that I didn't get to do one thing my dad really wanted to do. They went to the Corvette museum years ago and my dad really wanted to take me there. I kept telling him we would go when he was on the mend and could walk around better. The idea was to motivate him to get through PT and get himself in better condition. Now we can never go and I really missed a moment we could have had.

So my dilemma is whether to go without him and wish we could have been there together, or to not go because he can't be there. I know he really wanted me to see it, but I really wanted it to be with him.

Thoughts?
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Old 08-18-2022, 1:30pm   #73
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GO! Without hesitation, go. You know he really wanted you to see it. So go and enjoy it.
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Old 08-18-2022, 1:39pm   #74
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Definitely go... He's still with you in spirit.
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Old 08-18-2022, 6:48pm   #75
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Question for you all.

I am unbelievably sad that I didn't get to do one thing my dad really wanted to do. They went to the Corvette museum years ago and my dad really wanted to take me there. I kept telling him we would go when he was on the mend and could walk around better. The idea was to motivate him to get through PT and get himself in better condition. Now we can never go and I really missed a moment we could have had.

So my dilemma is whether to go without him and wish we could have been there together, or to not go because he can't be there. I know he really wanted me to see it, but I really wanted it to be with him.

Thoughts?
Go.
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GO! Without hesitation, go. You know he really wanted you to see it. So go and enjoy it.
^^^ What she said! ^^^
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Definitely go... He's still with you in spirit.


Go already! Take your mom.
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Old 08-18-2022, 6:49pm   #76
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Sorry just saw this
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Old 08-18-2022, 6:50pm   #77
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Go to the Corvette Museum

He's still with you in spirit, go
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Old 10-12-2022, 12:18pm   #78
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It has been 91 days and I am constantly reminded of the things that will never be again. It just popped in to my head that I'll never spot old cars in movies with him. I'll never eat his awesome homemade macaroni and cheese or his cabbage rolls.

I'm losing my ability to look to tomorrow because of all this. My vacation was only "ok" and coming back and not telling him about it really sucked.
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Old 10-12-2022, 12:32pm   #79
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It has been 91 days and I am constantly reminded of the things that will never be again. It just popped in to my head that I'll never spot old cars in movies with him. I'll never eat his awesome homemade macaroni and cheese or his cabbage rolls.

I'm losing my ability to look to tomorrow because of all this. My vacation was only "ok" and coming back and not telling him about it really sucked.


i'm about 70 down the road with Linda......it sucks.
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Old 10-12-2022, 1:46pm   #80
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i'm about 70 down the road with Linda......it sucks.
I bought a large digital frame on Amazon and I have about 250 pictures in constant rotation next to his urn. It runs 24/7 and if I want to see him, I stop and watch the pictures for a while. I'm unsure if it helps or hurts, but I feel 'called" to do it regardless.
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