So I got bit by a snake...

[Thunder22]

Originally Posted by datawiz

Washed it aggressively. Leaving on flight at 7:00 am tomorrow. If I die, I die. Had my tetanus shot in the last year. Not that that has dick to do with snakes.

So you could be "guy who got bitten by a snake on a plane"

new movie idea

[MrPeabody]

Originally Posted by datawiz

Washed it aggressively. Leaving on flight at 7:00 am tomorrow. If I die, I die. Had my tetanus shot in the last year. Not that that has dick to do with snakes.

At least put some Neosporin or other antibiotic on it.

[VatorMan]

Originally Posted by datawiz

Washed it aggressively. Leaving on flight at 7:00 am tomorrow. If I die, I die. Had my tetanus shot in the last year. Not that that has dick to do with snakes.

A true MAN answer. None of this wimpy see the doctor crap.

“It’s only a flesh wound.”

[ToolMaker]

Originally Posted by JRD77VET

That's the punchline and here's the joke


Two friends are out hunting and Bob needs to take a dump. He hangs his ass over a log and before he knows what happens, a rattlesnake bites him right in the junk.

He yells to his buddy Jim and tells him what happened. Jim doesn't know what to do so he runs to the closest town and finds a doctor.

The doctor tells him to make an incision and suck out the venom.

Jim runs back and yells to Bob, " I found a doctor".

Bob asks what the doctor said.

Jim says " You're gonna die"

This is the version I heard:

Lone Ranger and Tonto are walking through the desert one day, when Lone Ranger stopped to take a piss.
He ran over to the bushes to pee and a snake came and bit the head of his dick.
Tonto asked what he can do to help.
Ranger says, "Go back to town and get the doctor."
Tonto talked to the doc and said, "Lone Ranger got bit by a snake, what should I do?"
Doc said, "Suck the poison out of the wound."
Tonto ran back to Lone Ranger to help him.
Lone Ranger asked, "What did the doctor say?"
Tonto looked at Ranger and then down at the snake bite.
Tonto said, "He said, you are going to die!"

[Bill]

Yo Data.......ya dead, man?

We need you to check in.....proof of life.

[Datawiz]

Originally Posted by bill_daniels

Yo Data.......ya dead, man?

We need you to check in.....proof of life.

Made it to the hotel with no issues. First class is the only way to fly when you are huge. For some reason, I find myself sticking my tongue out a bunch today.

[MrPeabody]

Originally Posted by datawiz

Made it to the hotel with no issues. First class is the only way to fly when you are huge. For some reason, I find myself sticking my tongue out a bunch today.

I was gonna ask if all 18 monitors would fit in your carry-on bag.

[Datawiz]

Originally Posted by MrPeabody

I was gonna ask if all 18 monitors would fit in your carry-on bag.

God I wish.

[MrPeabody]

Originally Posted by datawiz

God I wish.

Have you considered nine smartwatches on each arm?

[Datawiz]

Originally Posted by MrPeabody

Have you considered nine smartwatches on each arm?

I prefer mechanical, self-winding classic watches. No techie watches on my wrist.

[stingraymyway]

Kill it with Fire!

[simpleman68]

That's a nasty looking snake

Maybe next time keep a shovel or machete handy?
Scott

[Ol Timer]

Did the snake die?

[Datawiz]

Originally Posted by Ol' Timer

Did the snake die?

No, that was the whole point. I picked him up and relocated him to some bushes on the side of the house. I didn't want to kill him.

[Sea Six]

Originally Posted by datawiz

No, that was the whole point. I picked him up and relocated him to some bushes on the side of the house. I didn't want to kill him.

Good for you.

I relocate snakes myself. Even poisonous ones.