Choose your color scheme:
The Vette Barn  
 
Go Back   The Vette Barn > Off Topic/Babes/Other > Off Topic

Off Topic Off Topic - General non-Corvette related discussion.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Share Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-15-2017, 4:35pm   #1
mrvette
Latin American Goat Roper
Barn Stall Owner #101
Bantayan Kids '13
Points: 132,350, Level: 100
Activity: 10.8%
 
mrvette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Orange Park Florida
Posts: 60,581
Thanks: 32,797
Thanked 11,529 Times in 5,686 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1138393
Default Snotty receptionist......

Snotty Receptionist

Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.

The waiting room was filled with patients.

As I approached the receptionist’s desk, I noticed that she was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.

I gave her my name, and in a very loud voice, she said,
“YES, I HAVE YOU NAME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man. But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,

“NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE
OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR
THAT DID YOURS.”

The room erupted in applause!

DON’T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS
mrvette is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to mrvette For This Useful Post:
Old 01-15-2017, 4:47pm   #2
99 pewtercoupe
Barn Stall Owner #74
Barn Raising II

Bantayan Kids '13,'17
Points: 94,499, Level: 100
Activity: 7.9%
 
99 pewtercoupe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: On an island somewhere
Posts: 23,634
Thanks: 3,824
Thanked 14,816 Times in 6,546 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $10393746
Default

Good one👍
99 pewtercoupe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2017, 5:06pm   #3
Kerrmudgeon
Bantayan Kids '13,'14,'15,'17
Points: 152,726, Level: 100
Activity: 0.7%
 
Kerrmudgeon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Canada's capital
Posts: 49,335
Thanks: 14,649
Thanked 18,411 Times in 8,713 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $4614507
Default

A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald's house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.”

Donald replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

Donald said, “Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.”

The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”

Donald said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”

The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”

Donald said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

A month Later, the farmer met up with Donald and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”

Donald said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2495.”

The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Donald said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.”

Donald is moving into the White House next Friday !
Kerrmudgeon is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Kerrmudgeon For This Useful Post:
Old 01-15-2017, 5:17pm   #4
DAB
Sparkles Flambeaux
Barn Stall Owner #4
Barn Raising I,II
NCM Supporter '13,'14,'15,'16,'17,'21
Bantayan Kids '13,'14,'15,'17
Points: 171,399, Level: 100
Activity: 7.6%
 
DAB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 61,434
Thanks: 11,767
Thanked 32,997 Times in 14,148 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $17500122
Default

I was going to beat that dead horse for exercise, but my wife said no.
DAB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2017, 5:19pm   #5
DAB
Sparkles Flambeaux
Barn Stall Owner #4
Barn Raising I,II
NCM Supporter '13,'14,'15,'16,'17,'21
Bantayan Kids '13,'14,'15,'17
Points: 171,399, Level: 100
Activity: 7.6%
 
DAB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 61,434
Thanks: 11,767
Thanked 32,997 Times in 14,148 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $17500122
Default

500 x $5 = $2500

Minus refunded ticket of $5

Minus $250 for the dead horse

Profit = $2245
DAB is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to DAB For This Useful Post:
Old 01-16-2017, 12:46am   #6
SQUIRMIN VERMIN 84
Barn Stall Owner #49
Points: 23,417, Level: 100
Activity: 2.9%
 
SQUIRMIN VERMIN 84's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: People's Kollektive of Seattle
Posts: 25,853
Thanks: 20,806
Thanked 3,963 Times in 2,070 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $1025197
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DAB View Post
500 x $5 = $2500

Minus refunded ticket of $5

Minus $250 for the dead horse

Profit = $2245
Nice catch!
SQUIRMIN VERMIN 84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2017, 8:18am   #7
Mike Mercury
Chief Meat Gazer
Charter Member
Barn Stall Owner #98
Barn Raising II,III,IV
Points: 157,577, Level: 100
Activity: 20.9%
 
Mike Mercury's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 50,746
Thanks: 23,247
Thanked 33,735 Times in 12,291 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $5135124
Default

Mike Mercury is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2017, 10:27am   #8
bill_daniels
10cm member
Barn Stall Owner #90125

NCM Supporter '19,'20
Points: 220,019, Level: 100
Activity: 99.4%
 
bill_daniels's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Houston, Tejas, Estados Unidos
Posts: 80,905
Thanks: 36,591
Thanked 41,077 Times in 17,080 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $2621492
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DAB View Post
500 x $5 = $2500

Minus refunded ticket of $5

Minus $250 for the dead horse

Profit = $2245
The initial $250 was reported as a business loss that he could carry forward to offset income taxes in the future, so that's not entirely correct. The horse was fully depreciated.
bill_daniels is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2017, 2:08pm   #9
73sbVert
Moderator
Barn Stall Owner #20
Barn Stall Owner #33

Barn Raising I,II
NCM Supporter '11,'13,'14,'20,'21
Bantayan Kids '13
Points: 30,399, Level: 100
Activity: 1.4%
 
73sbVert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 24,180
Thanks: 16,758
Thanked 3,291 Times in 1,955 Posts
Gameroom Barn Bucks: $988270
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DAB View Post
500 x $5 = $2500

Minus refunded ticket of $5

Minus $250 for the dead horse

Profit = $2245
I was told there would be no math.


73sbVert is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to 73sbVert For This Useful Post:
Reply

The Vette Barn > Off Topic/Babes/Other > Off Topic


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 4:02am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright © 2009 - 2024 The Vette Barn


Support the Barn:
 
Download the Mobile App;
 
Follow us on Facebook:

Become a Stall Owner

 

Apple iOS App        Google Android App

 

Visit our Facebook page