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03-11-2014, 8:08pm | #41 | |||||||
Goldilocks
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Never had kids, don't know how I'd feel.
But. I was a my life, I'll do whatever I want with it type. You can point out all the facts, tell her you're disappointed and talk until the Barbies come home. But she's gonna do, what she's gonna do. As long as you make it clear like my dad did; you're on your own. Ain't no 11th hour bail out coming. And I knew my father. There was and still isn't any bullshit with the man. Quote:
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03-11-2014, 8:12pm | #42 | ||||||
Latin American Goat Roper
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I recommend she get a .gov job......seriously.....put up with whatever for a couple years, get tenure, and don't have to show up even.....
Can't GET easier work than a .gov job..... unless it's .mil/.pol/fireEMT....... |
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03-11-2014, 8:13pm | #43 | |||||||
Dorkapottamus
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03-11-2014, 8:18pm | #44 | |||||||
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03-11-2014, 8:18pm | #45 | ||||||
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03-11-2014, 8:19pm | #46 | ||||||
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03-11-2014, 8:20pm | #47 | ||||||
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03-11-2014, 8:24pm | #48 | ||||||
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03-11-2014, 8:28pm | #49 | |||||||
Moderatrix
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Sorry, but I completely disagree with almost eveything everyone else has said here. This "let her find her way" bulllshit is worth about as much and rainbows and unicorns in the real world. That stopped being cute at about 23. There are a lot of things she can do with that law degree. She's not being forced into anything. She can decide what to do with that degree. Babysitting and hostessing? That's a slap in the damn face. Unfortunately, by buying her a home, paying for her college, supporting her thru college...she didn't earn any respect for money or the value of a dollar. And she has no respect for how hard you have worked to earn tghe money that paid for those things. It's the flippant attitude that's most disrespectful, I think. Like one big huge "Feck You!!!" I'd write more, but I am still at work...and will be for a few more hours. |
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03-11-2014, 8:30pm | #50 | ||||||
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I've been ready thru the thread and from my outside perspective, it seems she wants to "coast". You have done well and have provided her with shelter, education and the business you busted your ass on to make successful.
She's obviously smart to make it thru law school and pass the bar exam. Perhaps she thinks work is too hard and life would be easier on Dad's coat tails. Maybe it's time for a reality check for her to realize she is responsible for her well being. If she wants to work for ramon's noodle wages, maybe she should do with what SHE can afford. Good luck, the parent wants to help but sometimes the kid needs to sink a little before swimming. Jeff |
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03-11-2014, 8:37pm | #51 | |||||||
Goldilocks
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03-11-2014, 8:40pm | #52 | |||||||
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03-11-2014, 8:44pm | #53 | ||||||
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I disappointed my parents again at about that same age (for the last time BTW) and my father's response has guided me to this day... he told me that I would never starve because I was welcome home at meal time, or after business hours anytime, but living arrangements were now completely my responsibility because damn it; if I knew it all I could do it all for myself. Then he showed me the door! Perhaps your young lady needs an exercise in adulthood which probably should include an eviction notice from the house you paid for. Hard on you because you obviously love her (like my parents did as well), but it damned sure worked for me.
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03-11-2014, 8:49pm | #54 | ||||||
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I think she needs to consider what else she can do with a law degree. It sounds like all she has been exposed to is the type of work you do at your firm.
For instance, my wife is an RN. She liked working in hospitals, but she had to try other types of medical work before she found that out. Specifically, she found out she liked to work with newborns. But that was after ten years of trying different things. She ended here career wearing business clothes pushing paper around a desk as a case manager and discharge planner. But one can work as an RN without ever seeing a patient or setting foot in a doctor's office or a hospital. RNs are employed by insurance companies, law enforcement agencies, schools, etc. I'm sure the situation is similar with attorneys, there must be a large variety of things she could do. Maybe she just doesn't like case law and courtrooms. She needs to explore what else she can do to put her education to work. Perhaps she would like the prosecution side of the law, or being a victim advocate, or something like that. Maybe even teaching. Let her think she is following her dreams, but give her some guidance. Whatever path she takes, best of luck to her and you. |
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03-11-2014, 8:50pm | #55 | ||||||
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My BIL is going through a situation with his 26 yr old daughter. She has considered him her personal ATM for a number of years as she was going through college and various career paths he paid for. We have been telling him for at least 3 years now to cut off the money. She just announced she is moving from FL ( same state he lives in) to CA. Originally told him she didn't need any help from him. Couldn't even drive out there without running into trouble where she was calling him for money. He loves her and wants her in his life but she plays him like a fiddle. Hopefully it is finally sinking in to him
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03-11-2014, 8:53pm | #56 | |||||||
Moderatrix
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Unfortunately, she's right. Without a mortgage or rent payment, she can keep her expenses down. What's her motivation to do better than waitressing or babysitting? Hopefully, she'll see the success that her friends around her have and will eventually wake up. |
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03-11-2014, 8:57pm | #57 | ||||||
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You paid for her education, got her started in a house and she doesn't feel even a little bit obligated to see this through for a few years? Bullshit.
She needs to grow up. It's not all unicorns and rainbows out there. Sandy put it better than I could, she has a golden opportunity to get experience that will let her do anything she wants later on, and she is blowing it. |
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03-11-2014, 8:57pm | #58 | |||||||
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03-11-2014, 8:58pm | #59 | ||||||
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This is a tough one. Did she have a bad day or two, maybe pms, recently spent time with the college friend and missing the college lifestyle, broke up with boyfriend, momentary loss of confidence? Maybe give it a few days? If she is still set on making a change work out a timeframe and give her all her bills.
Remember that she is your daughter first and foremost. Would you really want her to be unhappy with her career choice for the rest of her life? |
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03-11-2014, 8:58pm | #60 | ||||||
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