I need your advice, folks...

[DukeAllen]

Seriously...she couldn't decide that before she finished all those years of law school? Tell her come back to work or she'll wind up like...us.

[DAB]

Originally Posted by DukeAllen

Seriously...she couldn't decide that before she finished all those years of law school? Tell her come back to work or she'll wind up like...us.

Well, not all of us.

[99 pewtercoupe]

Maybe she needs to work as a waitress at Denny's for a year to reset her priorities.

Sorry man, I know this has to really suck

[Ol Timer]

I have 2 adult daughters who love me and respect me - as their Dad, but I doubt either would want to work for me. That's a difficult situation in many cases.

I agree with DAB, would give her some time and some space to allow her to experience consequential learning. I'm a huge believer in that. Love her, encourage her, then kick her ass if necessary!

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by NEED-A-VETTE

She's walking away after five months? Five months? Really?

Sorry, Spence, but this is disrespect at its worst.

If she said she was disinterested in the area of law that you practive, that would be one thing. But to just walk away? Like...meh, who cares? I'm done. No big deal.

She's not even attempting to use her education in a different capacity. Nope. She's just bailing. But from her perspective, its easy to walk away, as she hasn't made the financial investment (college and support) or the sacrifices (building a business) that you have.

I can understand her not wanting to do something she hates, but wtf? Make some compromises here. I didn't out you thru college so you could babysit and work at TGIFridays. Feck.

Honestly, I don't know what else to say. I know would be devastated if my child treated me in such a flippant way. Its total disrespect.

The best thing you can hope for is that time will straighten her out. Hopefully, she'll realize soon enough that babysitting and hostess work is not the adult world. When her friends start becoming more successful, earning more money, doing fun things, taking trips, raising families, etc...she may get her $h!t together.

In the meantime, she can support herself financially. 100% herself.

EDIT: How old is she, anyhow?

You have said pretty much everything I feel. Thank you for understanding and being on my "side". I am very disappointed in her, and I think she is acting like a child. Tonight she e-mailed me to ask me to suggest a good team name for her Trivial Pursit competition. WTF??? She's 26.

[Knooger]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

Tonight she e-mailed me to ask me to suggest a good team name for her Trivial Pursit competition. WTF??? She's 26.

I'll work on that now...

[DukeAllen]

Originally Posted by DAB

Well, not all of us.

She probably already collected Barbies.

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by Ruffy

I am not a parent. So I have no dog in this fight. The following statement is pretty harsh so take it for what it is...an opinion...and everybody's got one...

I would like to believe that if this happened to me, the checks would stop being written. Since she has no bills to pay, there are no consequences for her actions. If she put her big girl pants on and joined the real world, she wouldn't be quite so quick to dismiss attorney-dom and go back to what doesn't even take a high school diploma.

She does have bills to pay: House (I bought but she's responsible for the payments), car, utilities, insurance, etc. I am not paying them. If she's going to lose her house, I of course will pony up, but only because the loan is in my name, and I hold the mortgage on her house. I hope it doesn't come to that.

[DukeAllen]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

You have said pretty much everything I feel. Thank you for understanding and being on my "side". I am very disappointed in her, and I think she is acting like a child. Tonight she e-mailed me to ask me to suggest a good team name for her Trivial Pursit competition. WTF??? She's 26.

Seriously? Did she just come back from Colorado?

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by Knooger

I'll work on that now...

I suggested, "I gots to know..." to see if anyone gets it.

[99 pewtercoupe]

Originally Posted by Knooger

I'll work on that now...

I'm sure this will be good but hardly something a father will relate to his daughter regardless of the current situation.

Larry this is just further affirmation that for whatever reason she is retreating from an adult role. She is concerned about a team name for a board game?

[Knooger]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

I suggested, "I gots to know..." to see if anyone gets it.

Is that a Dirty Harry reference?

[Jeff '79]

Spence....You now know what you need to do.



Don't forget the pics!

[American Made]

Originally Posted by lspencer534

Some of you may remember that my daughter graduated from law school last year, passed the bar exam in September, and joined my firm on Oct. 2. I had planned on retiring in 2 years and give my law practice to her. Now, 5 months later, she has quit.

She says that law is "too hard, too complicated, boring, and that I'm giving her contradictory instructions and too much work to do and that I'll never be a good lawyer." To help you gain the mindset of a lawyer, the "contradictory instructions" stem from my telling her what to do in a case, but saying something different in another case that appears identical. That's because law is an art more than a science; you sometimes want 1 + 1 to equal 3 instead of 2. There are subtle nuances in cases.

She now says that she hates the law and wants to do something else. "Like what?", I asked. "I don't know," is the reply. "How will you make a living?". "I don't know. I don't need much money. I could go back to baby sitting and as a hostess for a restaurant."

WTF? I'm giving her the opportunity for financial security the rest of her life. In a few years she will know how to practice law. Seems very stuoid financially to me, but we're of separate generations. I consider myself lucky to have a job that I don't absolutely hate going to every day...and I think most people feel like that. Maybe not, though.

I'm at a loss. I feel deeply disappointed in my daughter. Maybe I should be disappointed in myself. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I'm reasonable, don't have a temper, I'm easy to work with, and I know what I'm doing as a lawyer. It is a rough business, however. My daughter has a good mind, she's a hard worker, is smart, and honest. Perhaps it's a personality clash, but there's never been one before.

There it is. Any comments? My reaction for tonight is to have a couple more drinks and go to bed.

I haven't read any responses but I can say don't be disappointed with your daughter, that's crazy talk. Honor what you have taught and stick by it. I agree law can be an art form but it is not for everyone. Not the same by any means but... My GF became a state certified paralegal wanting to go to law school and worked for 2 law firms here in Los Angeles and was incredibly turned off by the staff and the fact(in one firm, Beverly Hills that is) the main partner was going through a divorce and bringing in UCLA interns to have filings done without pay cause the practice was in emergency accounting mode, therefore staff was overtaxed with paid people leaving with a possible BK in the firms future. Working environment is everything; The employees state of mind and level of happiness or not.
I'm sure your firm is lax and pleasant and for her being young she's just making sure that the element of being a part of a decision for someone's life or livelihood or both is something she wants to be involved in. I wish the best for her and your relationship with her.

Edit: Forgot the temper bold part. All of us have inner tempers, just admit it now

[Bill]

Spence, I know this isn't fully applicable, but let me tell you about my friend Bret. He graduated undergrad in 3 1/2 yrs and went to law school. He graduated, and worked for several different attorneys, disliking each position more than the last. He then worked for Anderson Consulting (remember Arthur Anderson?) for a while and hated that, telling me, "I feel like we are just here to rip off the client and bill hours," or something to that effect. His next job, and finally true calling, was as a history professor at a local college. He's the department chair, and he absolutely loves teaching, loves everything about it except for the politics, which are unavoidable most any place.

I think she is throwing in the towel too early. Is there some other law type job she could work at? Another good friend of mine works for ICE as a lawyer, deporting illegals. There are other jobs, particularly state and federal jobs, that consider a JD as a real doctorate degree when formulating pay rates. Maybe something that she could do that the law degree is applicable to?

One other thing......I'd kind of have to insist that she give you some kind of notice, if she hasn't already. Can she see her current caseload through to fruition? Can she at least give 2 weeks, and make it the best two weeks of her short career with you?

Anyway, I feel for you, you want to give your daughter a gift, the gift of financial security, and I really admire that. I hope you both can resolve this without damaging the father/daughter bond.


OK, now, with the level of (surprisingly good) advice and caring demonstrated in this thread, you need to show your appreciation to the VB by either springing for everybody's Barn Raising trip, or, failing that, making with the daughter pics.

[Knooger]

Originally Posted by Jeff '79

Spence....You now know what you need to do.



Don't forget the pics!

Man, that's wildly inappropriate. Even by my standards.

[Bill]

Originally Posted by Knooger

Is that a Dirty Harry reference?

Depends......do ya feel lucky, punk? Well do ya?

[Grey Ghost]

I've known some 'professional' students in my life. They enjoyed the college lifestyle with no intention of using the education for a career. Try not to judge her right now...give her some more time and see what happens. I know you are in shock...but, young people make rash decisions. What does her mom think?

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by Knooger

Is that a Dirty Harry reference?

Dirty Harry - YouTube

[lspencer534]

Originally Posted by Grey Ghost

I've known some 'professional' students in my life. They enjoyed the college lifestyle with no intention of using the education for a career. Try not to judge her right now...give her some more time and see what happens. I know you are in shock...but, young people make rash decisions. What does her mom think?

Mom isn't particularly likeful of me, so her opinion hasn't been voiced.