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Old 09-20-2012, 6:33pm   #1
ConstantChange
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Default Have a few questions about starting a family...

All of my friends either have kids or are pregnant. They range from about 25 to 35. Several of them have 2 kids. For the life of me, I'm trying to figure out why some of them made that decision.

Honest questions I have...

Why did you decide to have a kid?

After you had a child, did you feel like you had to give up a lot of things in life you would do if you didn't have a child?

Did having a child make your marriage/relationship better or worse?

Did your kid(s) become the most important thing in your life? Even more important than your spouse?
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Old 09-20-2012, 6:39pm   #2
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I'm too ugly to reproduce.
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Old 09-20-2012, 6:46pm   #3
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no kids here, but i do have a new leach field.
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Old 09-20-2012, 7:06pm   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConstantChange View Post
All of my friends either have kids or are pregnant. They range from about 25 to 35. Several of them have 2 kids. For the life of me, I'm trying to figure out why some of them made that decision.

Honest questions I have...

Why did you decide to have a kid?

We didn't.
The first was concieved after a drunken Christmas party.
The second was planned.


After you had a child, did you feel like you had to give up a lot of things in life you would do if you didn't have a child?

Hell yeah. I worked 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. Any semblance of a vacation was maybe 5 days a year.

Did having a child make your marriage/relationship better or worse?

Better. We had a common goal.

Did your kid(s) become the most important thing in your life?

To a degree, yes. One tends to put your family first.

Even more important than your spouse ?

No

...
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Old 09-20-2012, 7:14pm   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConstantChange View Post
All of my friends either have kids or are pregnant. They range from about 25 to 35. Several of them have 2 kids. For the life of me, I'm trying to figure out why some of them made that decision.

Honest questions I have...

Why did you decide to have a kid?

After you had a child, did you feel like you had to give up a lot of things in life you would do if you didn't have a child?

Did having a child make your marriage/relationship better or worse?

Did your kid(s) become the most important thing in your life? Even more important than your spouse?
We had children because we wanted to share our lives with someone and children were always a dream of ours.

We do not feel as though we gave up anything. We didn't (and still don't) have a pot to piss in.

Children did not make our marriage better or worse. We did learn to rely on each other a lot more.

Our children are the most important thing in our lives. The reason is because we are both adults, we can take care of ourselves. Our children have not reached the age that they can do that yet. Until, that happens, and probably even after that happens, they will remain the most important thing in our lives. Shit, they are gonna have to take care of us someday.
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Old 09-20-2012, 7:17pm   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DAB View Post
no kids here, but i do have a new leach field.
[Bud] Pics of leach field? [Bud]
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Old 09-20-2012, 7:57pm   #7
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OK I will be honest here.
I never wanted to have kids because I was afraid I would end up too much like my dad. Wife understood and accepted me for what I was. Turned out I was not that much like my dad but by the time we were comfortable with that, we were comfortable without kids
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Old 09-20-2012, 8:04pm   #8
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I have still not decided to have kids.
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Old 09-20-2012, 8:07pm   #9
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I make JoeBuck look like Hugh Hefner. I don't think this question applies to me.
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Old 09-20-2012, 8:13pm   #10
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No kids here, and 90% of the time I have no regrets about that decision. A good friend of mine told me once; "Thomas, you'd have made a great parent. But this 'I do what I want, when I want, buy what I want' lifestyle you lead would quickly end" She could be such a skank when she got the grape in her.
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Old 09-20-2012, 8:15pm   #11
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We had one kid. Wife went into "mommy mode" and never came back.

That being said, I have, quite frankly, the perfect female child. Without the surname, she will still carry on my legacy. This makes me happy, and God laughs when I was pissed when I didn't get a son.
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Old 09-20-2012, 8:31pm   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bill_daniels View Post
[Bud] Pics of leach field? [Bud]
I seriously considered making this post.
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Old 09-20-2012, 8:34pm   #13
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Wow it's interesting how some can make a distinction between who is more important.
Not judging, I just find it interesting.
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Old 09-20-2012, 9:18pm   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConstantChange View Post
Why did you decide to have a kid?
When I met my wife we discussed it and both wanted kids. I can't really explain exactly why I wanted kids, I just knew I did.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ConstantChange View Post
After you had a child, did you feel like you had to give up a lot of things in life you would do if you didn't have a child?
Not at all. There were definitely adjustments but we haven't given up anything. The biggest part IMO to making a marriage successful with kids is give and take. My wife and I have a great understanding of that. If I go snowmobiling for the weekend she has no problem being with the kids all weekend by herself. On the flip side if she goes for a girls weekend I have no problem as well. I have friends who this is a big issue for them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ConstantChange View Post
Did having a child make your marriage/relationship better or worse?
Neither. Our marriage was the same before kids as it is now with 2 kids. If anything I'd say it's made my wife a little more responsible and she doesn't party like she used to like when we were dating or first married.
Quote:
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Did your kid(s) become the most important thing in your life? Even more important than your spouse?
My kids are the most important thing to me but no more important than the wife. I think the kids made me appreciate her more.
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Old 09-21-2012, 3:11am   #15
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No kids here <shut up TxAg > almost all of my friends tell me I am caring, patient, understanding, and would make a great parent. I love spending time with my neices and nephews, and they love spending time with me...not that I would EVER spoil them <or buy them a drum set for Christmas to get even with my older brother for tormenting me when we were kids. >, but I just can't honestly see myself raising a kid full time...it may sound selfish, but I have too much going on in my life that I don't want to give up.
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Old 09-21-2012, 7:07am   #16
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No kids here. I can't have them anyway, but even if I could, it's just not who I am or what I want in life. When I was dating, I was looking for a guy who didn't want kids. That quality was actually quite hard to find. Once I knew that the person I was dating wanted kids, I broke it off. No need to waste my time or his.

Nonetheless, I give credit to anyone who takes on the role of parent. It's a tough job, no doubt! Just, not for me...I have enough going on...
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Old 09-21-2012, 7:50am   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConstantChange View Post

Honest questions I have...

Why did you decide to have a kid? It was the wife's idea

After you had a child, did you feel like you had to give up a lot of things in life you would do if you didn't have a child? Oh hell yes

Did having a child make your marriage/relationship better or worse? worse

Did your kid(s) become the most important thing in your life? Even more important than your spouse? yes



hey, you wanted honest
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Old 09-21-2012, 7:51am   #18
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None for me. I have enough Nieces and Nephews to spoil and have fun with. Then I get to go back to my business when they go home. It's win-win for all of us.
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Old 09-21-2012, 7:58am   #19
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I always wanted kids...someone to teach the world to, but the timing wasn't ever right, or the beotches weren't right....in the head!

But thinking about it now, why on earth would anyone want to bring a child into this fucked up world???
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Old 09-21-2012, 8:07am   #20
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Approximately 27 years ago I had this conversation, when my then girlfriend and I were discussing the possibility of getting married.

Me: Uh, I'm not sure how to put this, but do you want kids?

Her: Why, do you?

Me: Uh, not really.

Her: Oh thank God!

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