Hell starts August 1st.

[SnikPlosskin]

Well, I hate making these threads of misery but WTF. This is my life. You are my friends. I need to tell someone.

During a surgery a year ago, a nurse damaged my urethra with a catheter causing scarring and blockage. It has to be fixed or it’s life threatening when it shuts off completely causing kidney failure.

August 1st, a surgeon will cut under my balls and go in to cut a section of urethra out, sew it back together and place a Foley catheter in - for 30 ****ING DAYS. Then once it’s healed around the cath, they yank it out.

If you don’t know what a Foley is, it’s a tube up your dick attached to a bag. It is the most brutal thing you can imagine. If that’s not bad enough, apparently they need to get your balls out of the way so they have some contraption that busts a lot of blood vessels so basically if feels like you’ve been kicked in the nuts for six months to a year. I imagine they pull them up to your chin.

I’m terrified. I’m going to stress for the next month and a half. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through it. I had the tube for nine days and it was like a hot poker - a 9-10 on the pain scale 100% of the time.

When they yank it out (it goes all the way into your bladder where a balloon keeps it in. They deflate the balloon and literally yank it out.) it takes your breath away. I just sat there holding my junk with a towel for a good ten minutes before I could move. I’ve had that twice now.

This will be three times as long and much worse with the incision. I have to stop chemo for a while which means, after I get through this, I’ll have to fight my Crohns Disease back into remission. Last time that took almost a year.

The chemo slows healing so I’ll miss at least two treatments. I also can’t take opiates or NSAIDS. That leaves Tylenol amd Tramodol. Weak ass shit.

The up side? I won’t get to die from kidney failure and I’ll be able to piss like a 17 year old. I’ll probably drop about 30-40 pounds to. (I’d weigh 145-155...not good.)

The downside is pain and the remote possibility that my Crohns will flare out of control and I will get sepsis. I’ll be very weak from an immune system standpoint so this is very dangerous.

I’m going to psych myself up somehow. I’m scared of the hospital now too with PTSD from my experience over the last two years. (Three surgeries, two caths). I get anxiety attacks when I go to the urologist. Embarrassing. I take a bunch of Xanax now before I go.

What’s really pissing me off (see what I did there?) is that this has nothing to do with my disease. I’m still trying to find a lawyer. They won’t take my case because my situation is so complex. This is insane.

And I have shows in September. And the show must go on.

[Nox]

And to think some people pay good money to have objects stuck up their penis and get kicked in the balls.

[Thunder22]

jesus dude, good luck.

[Olustee bus]

So sorry about all that. I wish the best for you.

[snide]

Damn! My junk shrank just reading that. Best wishes Pete (or whatever your name is).

[Loco Vette]

Pulling for you, Pete. You da man. You got this.

[jda67gta]

Only thing i got.....

[Mike Mercury]

the longest I have even had a catheter in was 2 weeks.

Kinda strange... in that you get used to it after a few days.

[Stevedore]

All the best to you OP; you've certainly had more than your "fair share" of medical adventures.

Your catheter description puzzles me though. I had one for a few days following kidney stone surgery & it was pretty much a non-event. A nurse even had to change it once during the night due to a blockage, and I had no discomfort at all.

(Did you ever see the scene in "Nurse Jackie" when she removes the catheter from a pedophile who was in the hospital? )

[MrPeabody]

Hang in there, here's hoping it's somehow not as bad as you are anticipating.

[Black94lt1]

Damn, what does one really say to all that except hang in there, hopefully this is a step in the right direction towards some good news for you!

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by Mike Mercury

the longest I have even had a catheter in was 2 weeks.

Kinda strange... in that you get used to it after a few days.

Originally Posted by Stevedore

All the best to you OP; you've certainly had more than your "fair share" of medical adventures.

Your catheter description puzzles me though. I had one for a few days following kidney stone surgery & it was pretty much a non-event. A nurse even had to change it once during the night due to a blockage, and I had no discomfort at all.

(Did you ever see the scene in "Nurse Jackie" when she removes the catheter from a pedophile who was in the hospital? )

It puzzles me too. I hear about people who don’t seem to have much pain. For me it’s the worst pain I’ve ever had and it’s constant. They injected dye up there for an X-ray and I thought I was going to die. I’m one of those people who just don’t tolerate it I guess.

It tears the hell out of my junk where it exits. I bled the entire time I had it. I think that’s where it hurt. I’m not sure I could feel it inside. Except for some bladder spasms.

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by MrPeabody

Hang in there, here's hoping it's somehow not as bad as you are anticipating.

I hope so too. All I have to go n is my last two experiences that were absolutely terrible.

Originally Posted by Black94lt1

Damn, what does one really say to all that except hang in there, hopefully this is a step in the right direction towards some good news for you!

Thanks. It will correct a lomg term problem made doubly worse by the idiots at the hospital. I won’t have to worry about peeing again. I should be able to win distance contests.

The other thing that sucks is that it affects your bladder function for about six months. I just went through it. Now I have to do it again.

Although if I could, I’d just live with it. But it’s too dangerous.

[69camfrk]

I've said it before, and will again, you are one of the toughest dude's I know. You have had more than your fair share of beatdowns will all of this. You know we are all pulling for you, but that probably doesn't provide much comfort when they are torturing you. Hang in there buddy!!

[SubZero]

good luck gettin' yer dik fix'd

[SnikPlosskin]

Originally Posted by 69camfrk

I've said it before, and will again, you are one of the toughest dude's I know. You have had more than your fair share of beatdowns will all of this. You know we are all pulling for you, but that probably doesn't provide much comfort when they are torturing you. Hang in there buddy!!

Thanks for that. I don’t feel tough. Funny thing is I just heard the same from one of my Green Beret buds. Maybe I am tough.

Originally Posted by SubZero

good luck gettin' yer dik fix'd

THANK GOD the damage isn’t in the wang itself. That’s even worse. Do. Not. Google.

[NEED-A-VETTE]

Originally Posted by SnikPlosskin

I should be able to win distance contests.

Seriously, though...hope all goes well and you heal up quick!!

[04 commemorative]

Hope all goes well man.....sorry you have any of this !

[JRD77VET]

Good luck Pete and will pray for the entire surgical team plus you and your family

You'll be fine

[tjfontaine]

God I hope this goes good for you man. Like others said, you have been through it - got some more to go - just say screw it ... I GOT THIS ... I am a tough SOB - bring it on.